The rain is
coming down in sheets. It rains just seldom enough on this idyllic
world that most of its inhabitants are conditioned to leave their
homes without umbrellas, and today they’re paying for it. The press
clamors at the edges of the funeral procession, getting soaked to
the bone and/or exoskeleton. John ducks his head away from the
flash of cameras, still uncomfortable with his position among the
pallbearers. He didn’t know Dirk that well, but he couldn’t refuse
a direct request from a grieving bro. He ventures a glance at Dave,
who is at the front of the line carrying a smaller casket
containing Dirk’s decapitated head.
The actual casket is unusually heavy, not just because Jane
insisted on having it crafted from the finest-quality timber on the
planet, but also because for some unfathomable reason Dirk is going
to be buried with every single one of his shitty anime swords. It
would be absurd were it not so tragic, and possibly also
predictable. Gamzee fumbles with his corner of the casket when it
comes time to set it down in the cathedral, upsets the balance of
the whole thing, and sends it careening down so hard that the nose
of it crashes right through the stage.
GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.
JOHN: oops???
ROXY: its fine gamz
ROXY: accidents happen
John presses his mouth into a flat line. He
looks at Dirk’s casket, sitting diagonally in a hole in the floor
and popped about 13% of the way open. A few shitty swords seem to
have made a valiant effort to escape, but didn’t quite make it all
the way. He looks at Dave, who appears even more stoic than usual,
with his wet hair plastered to his forehead. He looks at Roxy, who
is staring at the floor, rather beside herself in grief. Then,
finally, he looks back to Gamzee, who offers two dubiously
sympathetic “whoops” in response.
Today is not the day to push it, he thinks to himself. He forces
a smile, kisses Roxy on the cheek and goes to take his seat in the
front row of the pews. At the back of the nave, devastated fans of
RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH are trying to force their way
inside, past the barrier of reporters. Jane drags Jake off by the
wrist to deal with them as Roxy approaches the pulpit, looking
miserably ghostlike in her violet mourning clothes.
ROXY: um
ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today
She folds her hands in front of her. Her
earrings light up as the reporters at the back take about six
million pictures of her tear-stained face. She sniffs, then hocks
back a whole mouthful of snot. The sound is very much in contrast
with the delicate, feminine manner with which she tugs a tissue out
of her modest cleavage in order to dab at her eyes.
ROXY: wow now that im up here its like
ROXY: idk
ROXY: i have no idea what to say
Of course she doesn’t. Dirk was her first BFF,
her first love, and at one time, the only other human being left on
Earth. She rolls the wet tissue between her fingers.
ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to
say
ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about
dirk strider
ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella
words in it
ROXY: they might as well have been sayin
nothing
ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess
ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no
idea why he did what he did
ROXY: so im just gonna say that
ROXY: im glad that he was in my life
ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more
eloquent than me
Dave gets to his feet, unwinding his fingers
from Jade’s. He walks to the pulpit with his usual smoothness but
pauses beneath the giant stained glass window to run the heel of
his palm under his shades. The camera bulbs start clacking away
like crazy. John whirls around in his seat to glare at the
reporters, putting a finger to his mouth to shoosh them. He watches
a tiny, white-carapaced chess guy sheepishly press the flash button
on his camera as quietly as possible.
It takes Dave a moment to gather himself when he reaches the
lectern, but when he speaks his voice is steady and even.
DAVE: hey guys
DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about
to get a lil real
DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse
im standing about two feet from right now
DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood
on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one
of us just went and fucking offed themselves
DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our
lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this
specific event or anything
DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked
like with no head
DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated
was like his third favorite hobby
DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem
but the sorta
DAVE: existential realization of finality i
guess
DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to
stink
DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of
absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook
about this
DAVE: i used to do that a lot
DAVE: like basically every time i opened my
mouth
DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda
shitty childhood
DAVE: not gonna go into details but
DAVE: long story short it was technically my good
ol bro-dad heres fault
DAVE: not this specific version of him
DAVE: the one i grew up with was a
DAVE: a
DAVE: he was
Dave hesitates. His voice might be cracking,
but it’s subtle.
DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to
the dead
DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that
if were being generous was in theory useful
DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit
about raising a well adjusted kid
DAVE: or
DAVE: raising a kid in general
DAVE: i was more like his disciple
DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or
wtf ever
DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with
DAVE: you know
DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that
kind of person
DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically
fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to
prevent it
DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in
the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works
DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole
time weve been here on earth c
DAVE: who knows with him
DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant
even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that
this was his only option
DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating
ourselves up about it
DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out
what it fucking meant
DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy
DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to
hurt you
DAVE: well not intentionally i mean
DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro
DAVE: im over that
DAVE: like as much as you can get over it
DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain
stimuli you cant exactly rewire
DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all
like
DAVE: shit dude
DAVE: i feel great
DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??
DAVE: i love being alive and having all these
friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every
day of my life
DAVE: etc
DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends
with dirk
DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version
of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane
DAVE: and like just chill with him
DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb
crap without it being a federal fucking issue
DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was
on the level with him
DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a
pretentious blowhard every day of his life
DAVE: which i did
DAVE: but despite that i
DAVE: i looked up to him
DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been
looking up to my bro
DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but
couldnt
DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i
needed from him
DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was
unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut
his fucking mouth
DAVE: but im glad he didnt
DAVE: he taught me about combat
DAVE: philosophy
DAVE: life
DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the
literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice
DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too
DAVE: so in the end
DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed
to feel right now
DAVE: but thats probably ok right
DAVE: like its ok
DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies
DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers
DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell
him that
DAVE: but hes not
DAVE: so
Dave takes a deep, shuddering breath and
actually takes off his shades to wipe away the tears that are
pooling on his eyelashes.
DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that
Jake is openly weeping by the time the speech
is over, his face buried in Jane’s breasts. She’s remarkably
composed—looking more irritated than anything that her gentleman
companion is getting snot all over her attractively tailored power
suit. Dave leaves the stage, face turned away from the glare of the
camera lights, and Roxy takes her place at the pulpit once
again.
ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to
give
ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks
memory at this point
ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the
void
ROXY: as many as we fuckin can
Rose—who had been staring off into space with
a peculiar expression on her face during Dave’s speech—snaps to
attention. She brushes Kanaya’s hand off her lap and goes to stand,
but is interrupted by the horrible, squelching sound of Gamzee
lumbering to his feet in his wet, oversized boots. He saunters up
to the pulpit with the precise lazy gait of one who’s grown far too
comfortable with a lifelong tendency of unwittingly inspiring
others’ contempt, and braces his arms on either side of the
lectern. If inside this church there were an adjacent room full of
wet dogs eating garbage, everyone in attendance would run to that
room immediately to escape the stench emanating from this smiling
clown. Suddenly, his expression distorts, to become something which
can only be described as a leer.
GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD
fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(
KARKAT: OH MY GOD
KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO
SAY, GAMZEE.
GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.
GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA
pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.
KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.
Gamzee clears his throat quite loudly and
abruptly, sending ear-shattering echoes throughout the church. It
sounds like someone just threw a toilet in a woodchipper.
GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!
GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO
wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On
FoR.
GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN
uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT
uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.
GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe!
:o)
GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(
GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe
Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:
GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.
KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt
PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs
FiNe FeLlOw?
GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL
bRoThErS.
GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS
lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.
GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE
tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg
ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.
GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG
mOmEnTs In My LiFe...
GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So
MuCh.
GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr
PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.
GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be
ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To
YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.
GAMZEE: HoNk!
The clown thrusts his hand somewhere beneath
the waistband of his pants and starts obscenely rooting around. He
retrieves a piece of paper, crumpled and soaked from the rain
outside, and attempts to smooth it out over the lectern. The wet
paper breaks apart immediately beneath his oafish clown paws.
GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd
WiNg It!
Dirk’s close friends in the audience look on
with anxious anticipation, eager to hear whatever important message
Dirk had apparently handed down to Gamzee to be passed on. John
can’t seem to find that optimism himself.
Gamzee draws a big, fat breath, and begins his speech.
GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a
FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO
gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?
The clown’s words hang heavily in the air. He
scans the crowd, silent for a uncomfortable while, as if his
question weren’t rhetorical and he were expecting an answer that
will never come.
GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE
d-MaN.
GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.
GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE
tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...
It goes on like this for some time. Members of
the audience ride out the clown’s eulogy with an admirable sense of
grit and determination, though visibly reacting with full body
spasms every time the preacher issues another punctuating honk or
deeply inappropriate turn of phrase. Karkat continues heckling him
all throughout, and at one point delivers no less than thirty
uninterrupted instances of the phrase “FUCK YOU.” Throughout most
of the eulogy, Roxy continues attempting to urge others to settle
down and give him a chance, based on the many endorsements she’s
heard of his spiritual oration skills. But even she gives up on
this effort when one especially boisterous honk results in Gamzee
knocking over the lectern entirely, which he does not bother to
pick up. Instead, he proceeds with his eulogy as if nothing
happened, while openly scratching an itch beneath his codpiece.
At this point, Dave has had enough, and exits the church. Karkat
follows him. Gamzee inhales deeply, preparing to launch into what
quite possibly will be the full body of his speech, rather than one
or two mercifully concluding remarks. Roxy stands up and begins
clapping loudly to bring a heroic end to the elocutionary horror
show.
ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!
ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US
DOWN
ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD
ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL
JUST SO *PERFECT*
ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT
MEMORY HE GAVE US!
ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS
THAT WAY!
GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.
She nudges Jake.
ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin
as like...)
ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)
JAKE: Gulp! Uh...
ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u
got somethin in ur heart to say)
JAKE: Oh... Okay.
ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!
ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our
dear departed buddy
JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)
John mutters a few imprecations under his
breath and gets up before Jake can take the stage. He’s concerned
about Dave and heads for the exit, beating Gamzee there easily.
Gamzee’s strolling so leisurely, in fact, he’s barely even made it
off the stage yet.
John pushes out into the churchyard. The rain has receded into a
light drizzle, which is nice. Much less like being being trapped in
a high-pressure shower and more like being sprayed with a plant
mister. He looks around the largely decorative graveyard and spots
Dave and Karkat huddled together beneath an eave of the churchyard
walls. John begins to move towards them but stops when he notices
how close together they’re standing. Dave’s got his suit jacket
unbuttoned and pulled over Karkat’s head to shield him from the
rain. Karkat’s the one talking—his caterpillar eyebrows furrowed,
but his gaze soft. Whatever he’s saying makes Dave turn his face
away, but Karkat winds a hand in his shirt and tugs him in, forces
him to make eye contact. They both go still, seeming to finally
realize how close their faces have gotten, how Karkat’s fingers are
brushing down the length of Dave’s torso. Dave dips down so that
their noses are bumping. Karkat’s eyes are so wide it’s amazing
they don’t pop out. For a moment, it looks like they’re going
to...
John sneezes.
Dave and Karkat jump apart like opposing magnets.
Oops.
John waves dopily and hopes that he doesn’t
look as buffoonish and mortified as he feels. Dave and Karkat are
still staring at each other from the corners of their eyes, warily.
Something silent and tense passes between them.
They make a quick recovery.
DAVE: hey
KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR
GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR
LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS
APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.
JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire
thing.
JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have
this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived
without.
JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come
back.
JOHN: dave, are you ok?
Dave glances at Karkat again. He... smiles.
It’s a sad smile, but it’s there.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: well no
DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific
thing i think
DAVE: so for once i think im having like
DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional
reaction to a thing
DAVE: which loops around back to being ok
DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been
objectively
JOHN: are you SURE?
KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS
A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.
KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.
JOHN: hmm.
JOHN: because i was thinking...
John chews the inside of his mouth and blinks
down at his hands. Now that he’s paused to think a little, what
he’s about to offer is a pretty weird way to console a friend after
the death of a loved one.
JOHN: do you... want me to go back?
Dave quirks an eyebrow.
DAVE: go
DAVE: back??
JOHN: with my retcon powers.
JOHN: i could go back and stop him.
DAVE: dude
Dave says at the same time that Karkat
shouts:
KARKAT: JOHN!
JOHN: what!
KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE
IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?
JOHN: what!!!
DAVE: john
DAVE: come on what are my powers
JOHN: ummm... time travel?
DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that
if i thought it was a good idea
JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.
JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know
right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk
didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?
DAVE: ehhh well actually
Dave makes a wavy hand gesture that implies
he’s about to jump into a rant about causality or whatever. John
cuts him off.
JOHN: but!
JOHN: if i retcon it...
JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!
JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at
all.
DAVE: i dunno dude thats
DAVE: a little fucked up actually
JOHN: you think so?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy
DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he
did
DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his
decision
DAVE: thats like denying him his personal
autonomy
JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.
John frowns. Dave opens his mouth to say
something else, but he’s cut off by Jade poking her head out of the
church window.
JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are
DAVE: oh yeah be right there
JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??
KARKAT: YES! GOD!
KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY
PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!
KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE
CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A
SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF
THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!
JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby
JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one
third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes
JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over
here???
KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!
Karkat stomps back toward the church,
bickering with Jade his way across the graveyard. Dave adjusts his
shades and puts a hand on John’s shoulder.
DAVE: john
DAVE: i get what you were trying to do
DAVE: but
DAVE: its ok dude
DAVE: im ok
John nods, swallowing hard. His throat is dry all of a sudden.
Dave turns and walks back into the church. Once John is absolutely
sure Dave is gone, he closes his eyes, breathes in deep through the
nose and raises both his hands.
Nothing happens.
John cracks one eye open. It’s been a while since he’s tried to
do... well, anything more complicated than going out for dinner to
be honest. Has he just forgotten how to invoke his game powers?
Do the windy thing, he thinks to himself. A brisk breeze howls
through the graveyard, rustling some leaves off a nearby tree.
Nope, that’s all good.
Do the... retcon thing? He thinks much, much harder than he
thought about doing the last thing.
Still nothing.
JOHN: that’s weird...
JOHN: it was working just the other day.
He stares at his hands so hard that his head
starts to hurt. So hard that he doesn’t hear the footsteps sloshing
through the wet grass behind him. When Roxy taps him on the
shoulder he yelps and shoots six feet up into the air.
ROXY: lmao john its just me
John spins around to greet her. He hides his
hands behind his back like he was doing something bad with them.
Which he guesses he was, kind of. Roxy shields her eyes against the
rain and laughs.
ROXY: doin ok up there b?
JOHN: i’m fine!!!
JOHN: wait. b?
John lands softly, close enough to Roxy that
she can slide a hand up his arm.
ROXY: yea like short for babe
ROXY: cuz ur my babe b
JOHN: oh, haha. right.
John feels himself flush and runs an awkward
hand through his hair. He’s still a little embarrassed to show
affection in public places like this. He slips a hand into the
small of Roxy’s back and feels a pang of guilt about what he saw
transpire between Dave and Karkat earlier.
ROXY: is dave ok?
JOHN: yeah, i guess.
JOHN: ...
JOHN: are YOU okay?
ROXY: yea
Her gaze gets distant as she stares at
something over John’s shoulder. Whatever she’s thinking about, it
tugs a soft smile across her face.
ROXY: yea
ROXY: actually
ROXY: im more than ok
ROXY: cause ive been thinking
JOHN: oh?
Roxy starts dancing her fingers up John’s
chest.
ROXY: about you n me
ROXY: and this
She bops him on the nose.
ROXY: hey john
ROXY: we should get hitched
JOHN: ummmmmm...
John stares at where Roxy’s finger is still
pressing down on his nose and goes a little cross-eyed as his brain
tries to process what she just said.
JOHN: um...
JOHN: ...what???
ROXY: um what WHAT?
ROXY: john cmon
ROXY: marry me
JOHN: like...
John looks around the graveyard nervously.
JOHN: right NOW?
ROXY: lmao totes
ROXY: were already at the church n everything
JOHN: o-oh my god.
JOHN: oh my god!
ROXY: john
JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??
Roxy starts laughing so hard she has to wipe
away a tear. She leans in to give John a quick, chaste kiss on the
lips.
ROXY: no LOL
ROXY: john u take everything so literally
ROXY: its fuckin adorbs
JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?
ROXY: yea
ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n
shit
ROXY: and i gotta even all that out
ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd
:)
JOHN: roxy...
ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment
ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest
ROXY: its cute as fuck and also
ROXY: i always know where i stand with you
JOHN: roxy...
ROXY: sides this whole
ROXY: THING with dirk
ROXY: its made me realize that even though were
immortal
ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever
ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment
with the one u love
That word hits John like a suckerpunch to the
gut. He goes breathless with shock; adrenaline pumping through him,
his blood rushing in his ears. When he speaks, his voice is
hoarse.
JOHN: you...
JOHN: LOVE me??
ROXY: yea john i love you
ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life
with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with
you
JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.
JOHN: that’s a LOT.
ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn
ROXY: just know its on the table
JOHN: i...
He doesn’t know what to think. He so doesn’t
know what to think that he’s spiraling inside his head, shaking all
over, damp with sweat. Something about this doesn’t feel... right?
Just a few weeks ago, Roxy was happy with Calliope, and now she
wants to have his babies? John feels like he’s missing something
important here, like he went for a bathroom break during the part
of the movie where the plot twist happens. He should give Roxy some
time, get himself some space. It’s all happened so fast that it’s
suffocating.
On the other hand...
...on the other hand, isn’t that how love’s supposed to feel?
Like a quick plunge into cold water, a feeling that grows
unexamined, and then gets so big that the realization washes over
you like a wave? Roxy’s unbearably beautiful with moisture clinging
to her eyelashes and a smile that she’s only smiling because of how
much she likes him. She likes him so much that she wants to be
around him every single day! John’s stomach feels like it’s doing
pirouettes. His hands come up around Roxy’s shoulders, and keep
going until he’s cupping her face in both hands. He starts
giggling.
JOHN: i...
JOHN: ok.
JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!
Roxy waggles her eyebrows.
ROXY: ooo u want to do it??
JOHN: yeah!
JOHN: er... i mean...
JOHN: um, yeah. that too.
JOHN: but i meant...
JOHN: about the getting married thing.
JOHN: let’s... do that!
JOHN: let’s totally get married!!
Roxy practically attacks John’s mouth, she’s
so excited. John shuts his eyes and kisses her back, still giddy
and laughing against her lips. She kisses him until they’re both
breathless, then pulls back so that she can gaze at him with
glittering eyes.
ROXY: omg
ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!