You’ve been
drifting so long that you’ve lost the ability to objectively judge
time or depth or distance. It’s getting hard to think about
yourself as an objectively limited being. The boundaries of your
skin begins to thin and disappear. What is it that makes an
individual an individual? Is it the physical space we occupy? The
electric sparks that sizzle through our brain flesh? If your
perception expands beyond the meat sack of your body, then are you
really an individual anymore? Why shouldn’t we become
gods? Why shouldn’t we become one God.
You scrunch up your nerdy face and furrow an
eyebrow. It seems you aren’t enjoying this train of thought.
JOHN: why am i even THINKING about this
bullshit??
Sorry, dude. That’s what’s on my mind
right now. I’m having a phenomenological debate in my third ear
that’s way more popping than your little hero’s journey into the
belly of a quarter-life crisis.
It turns out you don’t have time to worry
about the voice inside your head, because you hear one outside of
it. At first you don’t think it’s real. You think it must be an
aural mirage. Then it calls you the fuck out.
MEENAH: yo blue guy
MEENAH: get the shell down here
Your whirl around, upside down. You look
up, then down. There she is.
She’s clinging to a random server beacon, looking a
little the worse for wear but still grinning. You float on down to
greet her.
JOHN: thank god. i was beginning to think that no
one else was alive.
MEENAH: im not alive
JOHN: oh right. sorry.
JOHN: i’m glad to see you, is what i meant to
say.
MEENAH: same
MEENAH: i fuckin guess
She narrows her blank eyes. Her mouth
twists into a frown. Not quite a concerned one, but close enough.
You’ll take it.
MEENAH: i gotta say
MEENAH: damn buoy ya look like S)-(IT
JOHN: yeah, i know.
JOHN: i suffered a mortal wound, and then i threw
up on myself.
JOHN: other than that, i’m ok though.
MEENAH: waterboat lord english
MEENAH: he bite the bullet or what
JOHN: yeah he’s...
JOHN: he’s pretty fucking dead.
MEENAH: whale
MEENAH: theres that at least
There is definitely that, at least. You
both stare at each other for a pretty long time, and let it sink
in. It’s a hell of a fact, no doubt. But aside from reaching verbal
agreement on certain basic points of fact, you both realize you’re
pretty much out of material. You were kind of hoping you’d discover
a survivor you could have an actual conversation with. Not that you
aren’t glad to see Meenah, but you don’t know her, and
she’s not who you were really looking for.
That reminds you.
JOHN: hey, uh...
JOHN: mee...
JOHN: fish?
JOHN: (christ.)
MEENAH: meefish?
JOHN: no, i know that’s not your name.
JOHN: jesus christ. i’m sorry.
MEENAH: its meenah
JOHN: right. meenah.
JOHN: um.
JOHN: have you by any chance seen jade around?
MEENAH: who da fuck is jade
This is without a doubt one of the worst
conversations you’ve had in many, many years. And you aren’t just
thinking that because I’m telling you you are.
JOHN: well...
JOHN: she’s...
JOHN: i dunno.
JOHN: i mean, REALLY?
JOHN: you don’t know jade?
MEENAH: why the fuck you suppose im tight with
some random ass ho
JOHN: jade’s like, a big deal?
JOHN: i thought you were kind of important too?
MEENAH: you didnt even know my name dog
JOHN: ugh.
You’ve never been accused of having
stellar people-reading skills. But even you can tell the look on
her face says it all right now.
JOHN: wait a minute.
JOHN: do you even know MY name?
MEENAH: uhhh
JOHN: this is a two way street you know.
MEENAH: nah
JOHN: nah, what?
JOHN: so you don’t know it?
MEENAH: like
MEENAH: joke?
MEENAH: joke somefin
JOHN: no!
JOHN: it’s john.
JOHN: joke is my biological father.
JOHN: i mean JAKE!
JOHN: jake is his name.
JOHN: dammit.
Halfway through this exchange, Meenah
pulls out a small, clamshell-shaped accessory kit, and begins to
file her nails. She almost dislocates her jaw by yawning the moment
you mention Jake.
JOHN: alright, we’re veering off course.
JOHN: jade is my sister.
JOHN: i think she’s still out here, somewhere.
JOHN: have you seen her?
MEENAH: na man
Your entire body deflates. This is going
nowhere. Turns out Meefish is fucking useless. You decide to do
her, as well as yourself, the favor of completely ruling out the
possibility of eliciting any valuable information from this
person.
You exhale, and just let some stuff off your
chest.
JOHN: man i...
JOHN: i just didn’t expect everything to go to shit
so fast.
MEENAH: thats how the shit alwaves goes
JOHN: yeah, i guess.
JOHN: so... never mind jade. have you seen...
JOHN: any OTHER survivors? like, anyone at all?
MEENAH: nope
MEENAH: i aint moved from this floatin hunger
trunk lookin piece of shit since i got my bass kicked
JOHN: well, you’re the first i’ve seen too.
MEENAH: oh
There’s another awkward silence. You
spend most of it looking at your feet, until something occurs to
you.
JOHN: so what’s your plan now?
MEENAH: plan
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: you just gonna hang around here, in the
middle of nowhere, doing nothing forever?
MEENAH: thats what ghosts is most good at aint
they
JOHN: you don’t have to stay here.
JOHN: i can take you back with me, to my
planet.
JOHN: i mean, after we’re done looking for more
survivors.
Meenah stares at you for an uncomfortably
long time. She looks you up and down, like she’s making certain
calculations. On the one hand, spending infinity clinging to a
fridge-like space computer circling a black hole sounds like a
drag. On the other hand, will her coolness and street cred be able
to survive any prolonged association with this dumb blue nerd?
That’s what she could be thinking, you think. You hope not
though, because if true, it would hurt your self-esteem.
She finally appears to make up her mind.
MEENAH: naaah
JOHN: why not?
MEENAH: ok for one thing genius
MEENAH: im dead
MEENAH: i wont even last on your planet ill just
like
MEENAH: fade away or some shit
MEENAH: i dont know what happens to ghosts in
real places actually but ima guess it goes somefin like that
JOHN: oh yeah.
JOHN: whoops, i forgot.
MEENAH: anyway while you was floatin there i came
up with my own plan
JOHN: what is it?
MEENAH: cmere
MEENAH: gonna whisper it to you
JOHN: uh, ok.
You lean in rather credulously, and bring
your ear toward her cupped hand.
You pull back, unamused by the prank.
What is this, you think. Fucking amateur hour?
MEENAH: reel cute you wanna be my savior blue
boy
MEENAH: but the fact is you already helped me
out
MEENAH: got everyfin i need from you
MEENAH: sea ya round sucker! 38)
She’s laughing her ass off. Before you
can react, she jams the button down on the beacon and opens the
server. She jumps into the hatch and the door snaps closed behind
her.
Oh, shit. I think I know what just happened. You
might want to check your pockets.
JOHN: wait a...
JOHN: minute...
You fruitlessly fumble around in your
front hoodie pocket.
JOHN: wait a fucking MINUTE!
Sure enough, it’s missing. The Ring of
Life you stole back from Aranea has been re-stolen. Bitch just
picked your pocket. You got played, man.