We make a
quick stop back at Rose’s apartment. She understandably wants to
pack a few things before we leave this planet forever. Not a whole
lot, mind you. It’s not like she’ll be needing many clothes from
now on.
Oh, come on. Can we keep our minds out of the
gutter for more than two fucking seconds? That’s not what I meant.
She’ll have to leave her current body soon if she’s going to
survive the absolute realization of her Ultimate Self. The new body
I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles.
That’s all I was saying.
DIRK: Do you really need all of this crap?
Rose is sprawled out on her bed, resting.
It’s pretty much all she can bring herself to do these days. But in
spite of her physically incapacitated state, her stare tracks me
intently as I root through her belongings at her behest.
ROSE: No, I don’t... I don’t need it.
ROSE: But I’d...
ROSE: I’d like to have it. Some of it.
ROSE: Just the important things...
ROSE: The memories that matter most.
DIRK: We’re going to make new memories.
DIRK: We have countless millennia ahead of us. The
entire breadth of infinity.
DIRK: The past seven years on this planet are
cosmically irrelevant. When we get where we’re going, you won’t
even want to remember this benighted rock anymore.
Rose opens her mouth to launch into what
would surely lead to a belabored and cyclical argument, but she
doesn’t have the strength. She groans instead. I know it frustrates
her. It frustrates me too. That’s why I want to get out of here as
soon as possible.
I let my voice soften.
DIRK: Rose.
DIRK: Everything is going to be fine.
ROSE: But, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad...
She pleads, affecting an exaggerated
whine that sounds unintentionally authentic with how weak she
is.
Rose has really leaned into this particular line of
“irony.” Hamming it up with the dad jokes, as if she derives some
bizarre gratification from the fact of our relation. It’s an
apparently endless source of amusement to her.
I don’t get it and I don’t really care to
speculate. I sigh, and return to picking through her jewelry. The
tactic fucking works on me, I guess.
DIRK: Is this the thing you were talking about?
This...this rock rope?
ROSE: Rock rope?
Rose lifts herself up barely enough to
see. The effort to do just that seems to take everything out of
her. She collapses heavily after she gets a look at what I’m
holding up, huffing in annoyance.
ROSE: F-first of all.
ROSE: That... the word for that object is... a
“necklace.”
ROSE: Second of all,
ROSE: Does that... look purple to you?
ROSE: Don’t... don’t...
ROSE: Patronize me... while I’m dying.
DIRK: I can’t make heads or tails of any of this
shit. It’s a big pile of shiny garbage.
DIRK: If you’re so concerned about it, why don’t
you come over here and pick out what you want to pack yourself?
I expect at least an aggravated retort,
but nothing comes.
I glance back and see that her eyes have grown
glassy and distant, like two round-cut amethysts. Her smile seems
due less to fondness than stupefaction. The circles under her eyes
are dark, and her head is cushioned on an arm bent beneath it.
Keeping her eyes trained on me seems to be the only energy she’s
able to expend anymore. The omniscience sickness is wreaking havoc
on her. I should hurry up.
I’m glad I never had to feel whatever she’s going
through. Not everyone can be built like me. It just means I carry a
greater responsibility to take care of those more fragile.
Especially the ones most important to me.
I go through the motions of picking things out of
her drawers. Just grabbing stuff at random, because like I said, it
doesn’t matter.
When she next speaks, it seems her mind has
wandered. Her voice is as distant as her expression.
ROSE: Are you sure Kanaya is going to be ok with
this?
I slide a drawer shut, and shove whatever
it is I’m holding into the bag without looking.
DIRK: There’s no need to worry about that.
ROSE: How...
ROSE: How will we break it to her?
DIRK: You’re not well enough to stress over
this.
DIRK: You should just let me handle it. I can make
her understand.
DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for
everybody.
DIRK: She’ll come to see that someday.
Rose breathes in deeply, and exhales. She
allows herself to close her eyes, and tries to forget these
troubling thoughts of the wife she’s about to leave.
Speaking of which, Kanaya is on her way back to the
apartment. She’s blocks away, frantically running in the direction
of this building. She’s a pretty fast runner, but she’ll have to
run faster than that if she wants to bust in here and cause a scene
before we go. She senses she isn’t going to make it up here in
time, and slows to a stop. She takes a moment to consider how she’s
gonna play this.
She’s beside herself with rage. Her phone is out,
poised to call someone. Probably me. But she needs to gather her
thoughts and figure out what to say. She knows she’s been played by
now. She’s sure of it, and so has to think of exactly what she can
say to me to stop this from happening, or if nothing else, delay it
long enough to force a confrontation. At least, these are all
things she’s telling herself right now.
They’re only thoughts, after all. Things she’s
decided she believes, after neurotically parsing certain patterns
of behavior from me and her wife. I guess from her ignorant alien
position it’s reasonable to be suspicious that something shady is
going on. But is it really? Is she sure she’s not misunderstanding
something? Could she have misread the signals, or falsely assigned
nefarious intent to a perfectly innocent series of events? As her
breathing slows, and her calm is gradually restored, suddenly she
isn’t so sure. Maybe she’s gotten this wrong all along.
If you want my take, I think she has gotten this
wrong all along. That’s right, Kanaya. YOU have been getting this
all wrong since the very beginning.
Your head is spinning with doubt now. Why were you
running so fast? Why is your heart beating like this? You find a
nearby bench on the sidewalk, and sit down to really reflect on
this. To question everything you’ve been getting so worked up over.
The thing is, what you’re suddenly questioning isn’t so much about
whether your suspicions that Rose and I have been sneaking around
behind your back are wrong, per se. It’s that you’re starting to
wonder if they’re right, but you’ve been the one who was wrong to
object.
This revelation hits you like a kick in the chest.
It’s heavy, it hurts, but only for a moment. Then you find it’s
like a weight is lifting off your shoulders. To finally face the
truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if
she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural
similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then
what does that say about YOU, Kanaya? Doesn’t it confirm what
you’ve always suspected deep down? That as flattering as it was
that someone like Rose would give you the time of day, and as nice
as that made you feel for as long as she was willing to put up with
you, the truth is, on some level, you always understood you were
never good enough for her?
Pale green tears are flowing down your face. You
have no idea how long you’ve been crying. You just noticed only
now, because you’ve finally decided to confront the harsh reality
of your marriage. It was always an illusion. You put your face in
your hands and sob. The catharsis is relieving, bittersweet. Years
of suppressed insecurities melt away. You’re finally free of this.
Alone, yes, but free. And so is she. You love her with all your
heart, and because of that, you genuinely want what’s best for her.
Whatever will make her happy. And knowing this—that truly all you
ever hoped for was to help her be happy, to be the best person she
could be—it brings you comfort. It quells the grief into a dull
ache. One that you’ll be grateful to keep for the rest of your
life, because it will always remind you of what you had with
her.
The tears have stopped flowing. You feel them
drying on your face in the cool breeze. Your eyes are clear and
focused. You know what you must do now. There is no crisis. There
is nothing in which to intervene. Nothing to stop. You tap your
phone, and hold it up to your ear.
KANAYA: Rose?
ROSE: Ka...
KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: Sweet Heart
ROSE: Kanaya, I’m,
ROSE: I’m so...
KANAYA: Rose Its Okay
KANAYA: I Know Everything
ROSE: You... you do?
KANAYA: Yes
KANAYA: I Understand Whats Going On Now
KANAYA: I Just Want You To Know
KANAYA: How Happy You Made Me
ROSE: Oh, Kanaya...
KANAYA: I Wont Be Long
KANAYA: I Just Need To Say A Couple Things
KANAYA: While I Can
KANAYA: Before I Get Too Emotional About This
KANAYA: I Finally Get It
KANAYA: I Know You And He Belong Together
KANAYA: I Really Hope You Will Both Be Happy
KANAYA: Wherever Youre Going And Whatever You
Decide To Do
KANAYA: I Will Always Be Thinking Of You
KANAYA: And Be Grateful For The Life We Had
Together
ROSE: I...
ROSE: I’ll always remember you, Kanaya.
ROSE: Thank you so much for understanding.
ROSE: I didn’t know how to...
ROSE: I thought surely you would be...
Rose’s turns her face into the bed, to
muffle her sobs. I’m holding the phone up to her ear. I move the
phone quickly to follow the movement of her head.
KANAYA: Its Fine Really Sweet Heart
KANAYA: I Love You
ROSE: I love you too.
KANAYA: Goodbye Rose
Before Kanaya hangs up, I quickly bring
the phone up to my ear to say a few words.
DIRK: Hey Kanaya. Thanks for getting in touch
before we take off.
DIRK: We both really appreciate that.
KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: S... Sure
DIRK: I’ll take very good care of her.
DIRK: I promise.
KANAYA: Thank You Dirk
DIRK: Hey one last thing.
DIRK: Before you head back to the brooding caverns
or wherever, think you can do me a favor?
KANAYA: Of Course
DIRK: You’ve probably heard by now that Jade is
sick.
DIRK: In a coma or something? She’s in the
hospital.
KANAYA: Yes
DIRK: I’ve got an antidote for that. Medicine of
sorts.
DIRK: If you give it to her, it should wake her up
almost immediately.
DIRK: I left it here on the counter in your
apartment.
DIRK: You can come pick it up and bring it to her
at your leisure.
KANAYA: I See
KANAYA: Yes I Can Do That
DIRK: Awesome.
DIRK: Well, later.
I hang up and toss the phone on the
floor. She’ll be here soon, so it’s time to wrap this up. Rose is
exhausted. Emotionally, physically, the works. She’s nodding off
but struggling to stay awake. She doesn’t want to miss anything
important, but there’s nothing left to do here. There’s no reason
to put any more strain on her than necessary.
I pull out a syringe full of the same stuff as
usual. Worked wonders on Jake, then Jade. Should knock Rose out
well enough for the long ride ahead. I inject it in her arm, and
her head drops down almost instantly. I pick her up and carry her
like a sleeping princess. It slips my mind to bring along her bag
of stuff. I walk to the sliding glass door, open it, and we fly
away.