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190 lines
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 12</title>
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<div id='s12'></div>
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<div>
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<h1>Chapter 12</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">J</span>ake wakes
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up to the unfamiliar feeling of a cheek on his chest and a thigh
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slung over his stomach.</p>
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<p>Not that waking up to limbs entwined with some fleeting
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dalliance was a unfamiliar sensation by any means, but this time
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something seems off. He’s afraid to open his eyes, because he can’t
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remember the last few days. The very last thing he does remember—if
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any of his recollections are to be trusted—is corking open a bottle
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of alchemized merlot at nine in the morning, as one does, and then
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doing a brisk session of target practice, which was interrupted
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by...</p>
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<p>By...</p>
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<p>Oh fuck.</p>
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<p>Jake’s eyes snap open. His ceiling looks the same as it always
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does, if a bit tizzy with the eye-splitting headache sending nails
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of pain through his skull. The gold-flecked flowers carved into his
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wood-paneled ceiling glitter in the morning light. Jake stares very
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hard at them because he doesn’t want to look down and confirm his
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worst fears.</p>
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<p>But his worst fears are confirmed for him without him having to
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do anything, unfortunately, which seems par for the course.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jane">JANE: Good morning.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Jane sits up in the bed and stretches her arms
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over her head. Her body is a perfect hourglass in naked profile.
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Jake’s eyes trace the curve of her spine against his will. They
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linger in the dip above her hips. Her hair is tousled and she’s not
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wearing her glasses. Jake actually has to catch his breath at the
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sight of her. It’s not her attractiveness that was ever in
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question. It’s everything else about this situation which is the
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problem.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Jane.....</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: What in the blazes happened!?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">She turns to face him, giggling into her
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hand.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jane">JANE: Why Jake, I would imagine that you are
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practiced enough at sexual congress at this point that I shouldn’t
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have to explain it to you.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Jane i am quite aware of my reputation but im
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not some loose strumpet who enters into relations
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thoughtlessly!</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: Oh, lighten up.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Jane blinks and touches a hand to her
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collarbone, like she doesn’t quite recognize herself.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jane">JANE: Oh dear, did you hear what I just said?</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Lighten up?</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: It’s been quite a while since I’ve thought
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that way. My, it feels freeing to say.</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: Lighten up Jake! The election’s off! The
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economy is stable! Dirk is probably never going to talk to us ever
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again! And we just... we finally fucked. Hoo hoo hoo!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Did we indeed fuck? Was it merely playing
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honky tonky with our digits, or did we do the ole gamahuche? Or
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even worse, the beardsplitting?</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: Sigh, I don’t know what any of that means but
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Jake, we definitely did it all.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">She crawls towards him with a goofy smile,
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padding along unsteadily because she can’t see shit without her
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spectacles. Jake shoots up in bed and scuttles all the way back,
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until his shoulders hit the frame. Something catches the corner of
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his eye, and he swivels his head around to see the Trickster
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Lollipop on his bedside table. It sits, like evidence at a murder
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scene, beneath an empty bottle of vodka and far more sets of
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underwear than the number of people accounted for in the room.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Um...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">...Jake says, but Jane shuts him up with a
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finger over his lips. She slides into his lap and settles her
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bottom into the space between his thighs. There’s a blanket between
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the lurid parts of their naked bodies, but Jake cannot rightly move
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unless he wishes to be dearly compromised. He stutters through
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several objections, but Jane is plucking all his strings quite
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mercilessly. He feels like a snake about to be necked by a
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mongoose.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Wh... whats the meaning of the lollipop? I
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thought we agreed never to use trickster mode when we were...
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er.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Unsupervised.</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: What?</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: The lollipop was YOUR idea.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I- I must protest jane that does not seem
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like something that i would agree to in a right state of mind.</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: Well...</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: I’m not sure either of us were exactly in the
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right state of mind, to be honest.</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: We, er... had quite a bit to drink over the
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course of the day, and one thing led to another...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Led to partaking in scandalous
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confections?!</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: I don’t know what to tell you, Jake. I’m not
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pulling your leg.</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: In fact, you were the one doing the vigorous
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leg pulling last night, hoo hoo.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Criminy!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Jane’s expression falls. She’d been feeling
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quite buoyed after a night of jolly—if inebriated—fun, but Jake
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does not seem to share her enthusiasm.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jane">JANE: Dear me... was that innuendo a bit too much?
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I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: No its not that. Jane... i...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: All of this feels wrong.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Now i dont want you to get the wrong idea
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here youre a dear friend and i care for you deeply but i think that
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what happened between us might have merely been the result of
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profound inebriation.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Jake regrets the statement as soon as the
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words leave his mouth. Jane looks absolutely crushed. Devastated.
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Like Jake just ripped the rug out from underneath her entire
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universe.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jane">JANE: What?</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: Are you saying everything we did...</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: It...</p>
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<p class="jane">JANE: It meant nothing to you?</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: That. That isnt what i meant. Jane i
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simply....</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Jane stares up at him, her eyes so bright
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they’re practically clear, like tropical water on a sunny day. She
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looks like girls do right before they’re about to cry.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jane">JANE: Jake...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Oh, how could he deny her anything?</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: What was i even saying? Im being terribly
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foolish.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Sure we may have er. Overdone it a bit on the
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substance perhaps...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: But you know what? To hell with it.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I might not remember everything that happened
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last night but im sure my passions wouldnt lead me astray.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Youve always been a lovely girl jane. And
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youve become an even lovelier woman.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Why its a surprise this didnt happen
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sooner!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: May as well, er just go with it? Ha ha!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">It’s not the most rousing speech Jake has ever
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given, but it seems satisfactory enough for Jane. He releases a
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tremendously relieved sigh when Jane breaks into a smile.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jane">JANE: Oh, Jake!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">He flails when she kisses him. But this time,
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there’s no doubt he hasn’t said no.</p>
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</div>
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</div>
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</body>
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