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371 lines
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 24</title>
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<div id='s24'></div>
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<h1>Chapter 24</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: the timelines are interacting
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again.</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: ooh do you hear anything interesting</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: don’t be s0 n0sy aradia.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Aradia throws her legs over the edge of the
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ancient meteor facility and kicks them out into open space. Far
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below her feet, the meteor is wildly overgrown. It landed here
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millions of years ago, after its fateful three-year journey when it
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hosted several trolls and humans as they had a variety of critical
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coming-of-age experiences. It will stay here for millions more
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years, where it will remain indefinitely on a barren, desolate
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Earth C, waiting to host a single cherub child, chained to its
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bedroom. But for now, it hosts these three.</p>
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<p>Dead-Jade, whose body also happens to be hosting a cherub at the
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moment, is doing the same thing she does every day: sitting with
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her legs crossed and her eyes closed, using her still-teenage body
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to scry into the abyss. The light from the outer rim of the
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stratosphere casts her face in powdery blue light. It’s certainly a
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more becoming avatar for Calliope, most would find. The Calliope
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who Roxy calls a friend, in her moments of greatest self-reproach,
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would die for a body like this. The version of Calliope who’s been
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dead for eons, however, waiting for exactly this moment in history
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to reinstate her corporeal presence, couldn’t care less about her
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host’s appearance. It is simply serving as a functional vessel for
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the crucial role she now must play.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: what would you classify as
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interesting?</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: oh the usual</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: death... romance...</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: astounding feats of destruction and
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chaos</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: tell us whats happening in the dream
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bubbles oh great muse :)</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: please d0n’t.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: very well.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: let’s see.</p>
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</div>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small weight-bold">—</div>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: H4H4H4 1 TH1NK 1M DY1NG</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh no!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: what happened?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOTH1NG</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4TS TH3 PROBL3M</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1V3 B33N OUT H3R3 FOR SO LONG 1 C4NT 3V3N
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R3M3MB3R HOW MUCH T1M3 H4S P4SS3D</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M OUT OF SUPPL13S 4ND 1 H4V3 NO 1D34
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WH3R3 1 4M</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND 1M ST4RT1NG TO TH1NK SOM3 R3LLY CR4ZY
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TH1NGS</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: L1K3 M4YB3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: none of it’s real?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y3S</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HOW D1D YOU KNOW</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’ve been thinking the same thing too
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recently.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: lots of crazy, crazy things.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: and keeping them to myself is making me FEEL
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crazy.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: so the thoughts just get... crazier.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: I C4NT R3M3MB3R TH3 SOUND OF 4NYON3S
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VOIC3 BUT MY OWN</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: well, your voice is pretty unforgettable.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4R3 YOU N3GG1NG M3 3GB3RT</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: um. maybe?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: PR3TTY H4LF 4SS3D</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT 1M FL4TT3R3D YOU TH1NK MY VO1C3 1S
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4DOR4BL3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: no, i was obviously implying that your voice
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was annoying!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: come ON.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 GOT TH4T</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT S1NC3 1T W4S 4 L4M3 N3G, YOU W3R3
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4CTU4LLY SUGG3ST1NG TH3 OPPOS1T3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH1CH M34NS YOU TH1NK 1TS CUT3, R1GHT
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>;]</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’m sorry your honor, but the defense would
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like to plead the right to, um...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: stop talking about this.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: F1RST OF 4LL</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4S 1V3 4LR34DY 3XPL41N3D ON NUM3ROUS
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OCC4S1ONS</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: “D3F3NS3” 1SNT 4 TH1NG 1N MY CULTUR3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 3X4CTLY WH1CH C4NDY 4SS3D L3G4L TR4D1T1ON
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4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO R3F3R3NC3 H3R3?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: um, i don’t know?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i just said a thing that sounded kinda
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lawyery. you know, as like, a joke?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you do remember jokes still, terezi? or did
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you forget those too...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M JUST CUR1OUS 4BOUT TH3 P4TH3T1C4LLY
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SOFT L3G4L TR4D1T1ONS OF YOUR OLD PL4N3T</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ON3 C4N 4T L34ST HOP3 YOUR N3W PL4N3T H4S
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F1GUR3D OUT 4 JUD1C14L SYST3M TH4T H4S MOR3 T33TH</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, i think earth c has been getting there,
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lately.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW MUCH TH1S W4RMS MY
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PUMP B1SCU1T TO H34R</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: well, i’m glad at least YOU’RE getting a kick
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out of it.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: PL34S3 JOHN, 1 DONT H4V3 MUCH 4NYMOR3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JUST L3T M3 H4V3 TH1S</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ok...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: for someone who’s suffering so much, you sure
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seem like you’re still full of piss and vinegar out there.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: are you SURE you’re dying?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M SUR3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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</div>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small weight-bold">—</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Aradia leans over and sticks her nose in
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dead-Jade’s face. She watches how her eyebrows wrinkle at the
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center, just a little bit.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: so</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: what do you see</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: nothing i would describe as
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interesting.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: please stop distracting me.</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: ok if thats what you really want</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: it is.</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: aradia c0uld y0u st0p fucking b0thering
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her.</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: what are we even d0ing here, serving as
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like,</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: the attendants f0r this super ancient and
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wise g0ddess, 0r whatever the fuck she is...</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: if all y0u’re g0nna d0 is get in her face
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and hassle her ab0ut whatever c00l shit is g0ing 0n in her
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visi0ns.</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: ok im sorry im just really curious!</p>
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</div>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small weight-bold">—</div>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: no sign of her yet?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NO</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: terezi, seriously. it’s been years here.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: when are you going to give up and accept that
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she’s probably...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: PROB4BLY WH4T</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you know.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: dead.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: terezi, vriska’s dead, and none of us are
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going to see or hear from her ever again.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: not even you.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: and you know what i think?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think that even if you DID find vriska, it
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wouldn’t matter!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: because i don’t think she even deserves your
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friendship anymore.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: if she cared about you as much as you care
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about her, she wouldn’t have fucked off like this forever.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: driving you crazy with doubt and uncertainty,
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making you chase her through infinite nothingness until you almost
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starve to death...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: she would have at least given you the
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courtesy of closure!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: H4HA</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4TS NOT WH4T VR1SK4 1S L1K3 JOHN</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah. i guess not.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: so why are you still trying so hard?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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</div>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small weight-bold">—</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Aradia stretches her arms over her head and
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yawns. She launches from her perch at the edge of the meteor
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facility with a little somersault, coasting through the air so that
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she’s level with Sollux’s face. She gives one of his horns a light
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tap, to affirm her proximity.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: she talks in five word sentences so even
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im still in the dark about what it is shes really trying to
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accomplish</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: from what ive pieced together she needs
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to stay in these trances or were all doomed</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: aradia, being d00med is all i used t0
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ever talk ab0ut.</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: even i’ve chilled 0ut 0n all that shit
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n0w.</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: so you dont believe her?</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: ehhh, shrug.</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: all i’m d0ing here is keeping y0u
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c0mpany. like usual.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: the work is important.</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: see?</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: 0k, the least she c0uld d0 is tell us WHY
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we’re all d00med.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: doomed is not a word i would use to
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||
describe the condition of those on this world.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: even if my work is unsuccessful, the
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||
stakes for everyone here have nothing to do with the issue of
|
||
mortality.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: to frame the matter that way would
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||
be misleading.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: to the extent that it is my
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naturally endowed duty to defend the innocent from wanton acts of
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||
destruction, from degradation and dissolution,</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: it is also my duty to tell the truth
|
||
to those i protect.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: and the simplest statement of truth
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||
for all of you to know is this:</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: we are the lucky ones.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Calliope lets out a long, thin sigh from
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||
between the teeth of Jade’s corpse. It’s more for effect than
|
||
anything, as corpses don’t actually need to breathe.</p>
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||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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||
<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: we are the ones fortunate enough to
|
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live in a reality that is beyond the influence of the prince.</p>
|
||
<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: wh0 the fuck is the prince?</p>
|
||
</div>
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||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small weight-bold">—</div>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1V3 N3V3R TOLD 4NYON3 TH1S B3FOR3</p>
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: W3LL</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT 4NYON3 WHO C4R3D 3NOUGH TO L1ST3N 4T
|
||
L34ST</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT FOR 4 LONG T1M3 1V3 F3LT L1K3 TH3R3S
|
||
SOM3TH1NG WRONG W1TH M3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: L1K3 1M M1SS1NG SOM3TH1NG 1MPORT4NT</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3 TH1NG TH4T 3V3RYON3 3LS3 H4S TH4T
|
||
4LLOWS TH3M TO B3 S4T1SF13D W1TH TH3 W4Y TH1NGS 4R3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: L1K3 TH3R3S 4 HUG3 VO1D 1NS1D3 MY H34RT
|
||
4ND 1LL N3V3R H4V3 WH4T 1 N33D TO B3 H4PPY</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT BY MYS3LF 4T L34ST</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: DO3S TH4T SOUND STUP1D?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: no.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i feel like that too.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i’ve felt that way for years. like... maybe i
|
||
died?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: or maybe everyone died back in the medium and
|
||
i’m the only one who realizes it.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: like i’m that kid in the movie where bruce
|
||
willis is dead as a surprise at the end.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: except ghost john crawled back inside my skin
|
||
and he’s wearing it like a halloween costume.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: and that’s why there’s a huge hole inside
|
||
me.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: maybe that’s why it feels like you’re the
|
||
only person who understands me anymore.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: because we’ve both got big, howling ghost
|
||
holes inside of us.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: and talking to each other makes it feel less
|
||
lonely.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: that’s what we did, terezi. we filled each
|
||
other’s holes.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: H3H3H3</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: R3R34D WH4T YOU JUST WROT3 DUMP4SS</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ugh. terezi, get your mind out of the
|
||
gutter!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i thought we were having a serious moment
|
||
here.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 4M S3R1OUS</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 TH1NK TH1S 1S TH3 3ND FOR M3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M D1ZZY 4ND S1CK 4ND 1 C4NT SM3LL
|
||
STR41GHT</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 F33L L1K3 1 COULD JUST L4Y DOWN 1N TH1S
|
||
3NDL3SS S34 OF NOTH1NG 4ND JUST GO TO SLEEP</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4T TH1S PO1NT 1T WOULD 4LMOST B3 4 R3L13F
|
||
1F 1 D1DNT W4K3 UP</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you don’t have to do that terezi.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you could just come home.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: please. please come home.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3N WH4T</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: umm, i dunno.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: we hang out and stuff?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN YOU ST1LL DONT G3T 1T</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S *NOT* MY HOM3</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: do you really miss alternia that bad?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 D1D FOR 4 LONG T1M3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: MOR3 TH4N K4RK4T 4ND K4N4Y4 D1D 4T
|
||
L34ST</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 4NYMOR3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4LT3RN14, VR1SK4, SGRUB</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M SO CONFUS3D 4BOUT WH4T 1 W4NT</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: UGH, 1 THOUGHT TH4T NOT K1LL1NG H3R WOULD
|
||
M4K3 M3 F33L B3TT3R</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT 1NST34D 1TS L1K3 1 R3TCONN3D 4 HUG3
|
||
CHUNK OUT OF MY SOUL</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 3R4S3D 4N 4CT1ON OF R3GR3T 4ND
|
||
GR13F...</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND JUST TURN3D 1T 1NTO SOM3TH1NG 1 C4NT
|
||
STOP CH4S1NG 4FT3R</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: M4YB3 WH4T 1 D1D W4S N3CESS4RY TO S4V3
|
||
3V3RYON3 3LS3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT 1T SUR3 D1DNT S4VE M3</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: so maybe that means...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: the only thing left to do is let her go?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: I C4NT JOHN</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT 3V3N WH1L3 1M ON D34THS DOOR,
|
||
4PP4R3NTLY</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: terezi...</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1TS T1M3 FOR M3 TO GO</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: GOODBY3 JOHN</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: no, don’t go!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: please, please don’t do this!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: if you just go off and die, and i never hear
|
||
from you again...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t think i can handle that!!!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: STOP TH1S</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUR3 3MB4R4SS1NG BOTH OF US</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: terezi, if you had no intent of ever coming
|
||
home...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: why did you even bother calling me?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: are you really telling me that you didn’t
|
||
want me to talk you out of it???</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 R34LLY D1DNT</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: then what DID you want?!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: L3TS S4Y...</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO G1V3 YOU TH3 COURT3SY OF
|
||
CLOSUR3</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small weight-bold">—</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dead-Jade’s eyes slowly flutter open. She gets
|
||
to her feet and brushes down her skirt.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="aradia">ARADIA: are you done working for the day</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: the work is never finished.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: not until i am able to deal with the
|
||
prince myself.</p>
|
||
<p class="aradia">ARADIA: and when will that be</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">The meteor is passing beyond the fall of
|
||
night. Dead-Jade, standing half in light, half in darkness, looks
|
||
up at the sky.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: not soon enough.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</body>
|
||
</html> |