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400 lines
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat - Chapter 39</title>
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<h1>Chapter 39</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">I</span>’m inside
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Jake’s mansion. It’s just as idiotically garish as the last time I
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saw it. There was once a time I swore I’d never set foot in here
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again, for various reasons I won’t get into. Jake is the type of
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guy who makes you say stuff like that. But he’s also the type who
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reminds you never to say never. Here I fucking am again, in this
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useless dickhead’s dime-store McMansion. But only because I need
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one of his ships.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Rose is still asleep from the drugs. I put her on
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that monstrous, overstuffed velvet couch over there. My guy
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Squarewave is here too. I need his help today, because there’s a
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lot of cargo to wrangle. He’s wheeling something around on a hand
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truck. Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and
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wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she
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sees it. But the only way she’ll be able to do that is when she’s
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awake and looking in a mirror.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Jake owns Skaianet, a company which, among many
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other things, manufactures spaceships. They do a stiff business
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selling these rigs, especially with all the new military contracts
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the Crocker administration has been handing out. If it weren’t for
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his connection to a good supply of quality starcraft, I’m honestly
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not sure if I’d even bother stopping by before leaving. I’d have to
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think about it. Yeah, we’re “friends,” I suppose, but there really
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isn’t much I have to say to this guy anymore. But as long as I’m
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here, I have to confess I’ve been mulling over a few choice remarks
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to let him chew on while I’m gone.</p>
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<p class="dirk">I didn’t tell him I’d be coming. That would be a
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scene. He’d “prepare” too much. Roll out the red carpet, so to
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speak. Suggest plans, stammer nervously, throw on something a bit
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more skin-hugging than usual. I may have already mentioned, but I’m
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a bit too deft at this for my own good. Doing the thing where I tug
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at the part of someone’s latent thought process that already knows
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they adore me. That if someone would just pull the stops from their
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sense of inhibition, they’d realize they would do anything for
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me.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Though I could be overselling my methods of
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persuasion while shortchanging my natural aura of charisma and
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dashing good looks. Maybe I’m just that fucking charming? There are
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times when I actually do manage to underestimate my positive
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qualities, believe it or not.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Normally, corralling Jake’s attention is like
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greasing up your whole naked body and tackling a shrieking hog on
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rocket skates. There was always a part of his mind that was
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conflicted about me—intrigued, titillated, wary. But now he’s just
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plain obsessed.</p>
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<p class="dirk">That wasn’t really what I was going for, but hey.
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With political warfare comes collateral damage. It’s harmless
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enough anyway. It’s not like I gave him a sick scar, or anything
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that would hurt his value as priceless sexual commodity. The only
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thing affected was his brain. It’s a bit like if someone hacked a
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comments section. Who gives a shit?</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: DIRK!!!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I glance up the stairs, where he’s
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standing on the precipice overlooking the foyer. Yeah, he
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definitely wasn’t expecting company. He’s completely nude, except
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for a pair of boxers with a pattern of green skulls, pistols, and
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some shapes that maybe are supposed to be pot leaves.</p>
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<p class="dirk">He blunders down the stairs at top speed, runs over
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and gives me a huge bro-hug, making my spine pop. God, he’s so
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fucking strong. I <em>hate</em> that the brief feeling of being
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crushed by this oaf makes my dick twitch slightly.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Hey Jake.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Well isn’t this a heap of shillelaghs and
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shamrocks!</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Uh...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I had no idea you had plans to visit my
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humble abode!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: To swing about the ole manor du chez ingles
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as they say.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: That’s three different fucking languages.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: So what brings you here pal?</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I seem to recall the last time we were
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bumming about the rumpus cabana you swore some sort of blood oath
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youd never set foot in here again with one of your customary
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dramatic flourishes.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yeah, well.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I meant it at the time.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Let’s just leave it at that.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Okie doke!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: GOSH its so good to see you.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: SO good.....</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">He’s gently stroking the side of my arm
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now, making no effort to disguise his interest in the contours of
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my muscles. I use that arm to put a hand on his shoulder in an
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affable way, so that he’s forced to stop.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Listen, man.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: You got a spare spaceship lying around?</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: We’re going on a trip.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I nod over in the direction of the couch.
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Jake’s eyebrows shoot up.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Oh! I didnt even notice rose there.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Wow she looks really zonked. Bad hangover i
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presume?</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Hold the phone wasnt she supposed to be off
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the sauce? Or is that not a thing anymore?</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: It’s not a hangover. She’s just tired.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Can you help us out?</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Of course mate. Ive got frickin scads of the
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things lying around.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Prototypes. Top secret experimental models.
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Galaxy class ball busters dogeared for the whiteshirts in the
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gubmint! ;)</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: They pay some tidy coin for all this
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industrio military whatsit you know.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I’m gritting my teeth, focusing on
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breathing steadily.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yeah, um.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I don’t know, dude. Anything, really.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Something fast.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Fast! We can do fast.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">He scurries over to a new-money–looking
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baroque antique cabinet, his ample junk swinging about in his loose
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boxers free as a jaybird. He opens a small door and rifles through
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a stack of stray papers and captchalogue cards.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Heres one! Oughta do you splendidly.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Thanks bro.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I take it. We’re almost through this
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dirty little bit of business. I know there’s more, though. There
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always is with him. In fact, here it comes. I can smell it a mile
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away. I know exactly what he’s about to say, and the buoyant
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obliviousness with which he’ll say it.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: So where are we going?</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yeah, I thought this misunderstanding might
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happen.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: My bad, man. I wasn’t that clear up
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front.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: “We” aren’t going anywhere.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: It’s just me and Rose on this trip.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Ooh! I see.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Well when you live the married life i suppose
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from time to time one must get away from the old ball and chain one
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way or another.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: So its a stag night of sorts. In space. With
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a gay girl instead of a fella!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: And... not me.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yes.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Jake falls quiet for a moment as his
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pitiful pea brain struggles to process the shocking
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information.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Gadzooks...!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Well say no more then.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: So um... how long will you be away? Does
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kanaya know about all of these shenanigans?</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yes.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: We’ve discussed it. She’s ok with it.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Whew good to see theres no trouble in
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paradise. Theyve always had the most lovely marriage.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: On the other hand you know how those dames
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can be... rargh!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">He shakes his fist to demonstrate
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whatever bad point he’s making.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: There are times let me tell you how i feel
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like i dodged a bullet by not jumping the matrimonial broom with
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jane.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I love her to death obviously and id do
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fucking anything for her especially now that shes EL
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PRESIDEÑTE!!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Cripes... woo boy sometimes i can hardly
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believe how that sounds but it sure is what happened isnt it?</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Partly thanks to a humdinger of a speech by
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yours truly but... um... but WOW never mind THAT old saw!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: What im saying is... i dont know what im
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saying? We guys need to stick together sometimes and live our lives
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and not...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Well. Play such ornamental roles in the lives
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of our important and powerful womanly counterparts dear to us
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though they be!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I think maybe im saying we should hang out
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more dirk??</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: No pressure i mean! When you get back from
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your extraterrestrial camping trip of course!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Um...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: When did you say you were coming back?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">He’s sweating. More nervous than I’ve
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ever seen him before. Stammering, desperate. I need to be brutally
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direct with this poor guy. Enough’s enough.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">His mouth is hanging open. Not a shred of
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restraint in his crestfallen posture. But he needs to hear this.
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All of it.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Like</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Wait.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: You arent...</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Coming back.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Ever.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Ever???</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yeah.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: But...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I dont</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Why dirk?????</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">The tears are starting to come. His
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composure is breaking. He’s staring intently at my face, as if
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trying to drink in every precious moment of what he knows in his
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heart will be the last time we ever see each other. He takes in
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every drop of light reflecting from my beautiful face. The sculpted
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cheekbones, the warrior’s eyebrows, the deadly serious yet
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exquisitely kissable mouth. This is the face he lives for now. A
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visage that, in mere minutes, will vanish from his life forever.
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The tears drop. His voice cracks.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Please...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Please take me with you dirk.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I can’t do that, Jake.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: It’s not within the parameters of the
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mission.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: But...!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: What mission!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I... cant do this alone dirk!</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: This life... this... whatever is happening
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now. Whatevers expected of me...</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: I cant do it.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: Not without you!</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: You’re going to have to, man.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: She has a tough road ahead.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: It’s hard running a planet, but she’ll whip
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it into shape.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I trust her, and so should you.</p>
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<p class="jake">JAKE: B-but!</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: She needs you at her side.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: If all goes well, she’ll rule Earth C for
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||
millions of years, and you’ll be critical to that reign.</p>
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||
<p class="jake">JAKE: But i dont know what to DO dirk!</p>
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||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I dont know HOW to help someone rule!</p>
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||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I wouldnt know the first thing about...
|
||
strategy or advising or policy or...</p>
|
||
</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I almost burst out laughing, but I manage
|
||
to control myself.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Uh, Jake. Nobody wants you to do any of
|
||
that.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Well, I know Jane sure doesn’t.</p>
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||
<p class="jake">JAKE: Then... what...</p>
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||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: You’ll just be, you know.</p>
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||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Her candy boy?</p>
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||
<p class="jake">JAKE: CANDY BOY???</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yeah. Being on call.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving
|
||
her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep
|
||
going. To keep her morale up and such.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: To provide her with many heirs.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool?</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: HEIRS??</p>
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||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Yeah, like. Kids. A lot of them.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Think about it. You could have thousands of
|
||
kids.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: They’ll all grow old and die, because they
|
||
aren’t god tiers like both of you are.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: But you just keep having more.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Sounds pretty badass to me. Like getting to
|
||
live through your entire future family tree.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: To watch your own endlessly branching dynasty
|
||
flourish.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: I’m almost a little jealous.</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: NO!!!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: That sounds... DREADFUL!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: DIRK PLEASE!</p>
|
||
</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I glance at a clock on the wall. This
|
||
needs to end soon. There are a lot of important things still to be
|
||
done, and this sure isn’t one of them.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Time to man up, Jake.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: This is what your life is now. It’s only bad
|
||
if you treat it this way.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: It’s actually fantastic. Someday you’ll get
|
||
it.</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: No dirk!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I cant bear to let you go!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: Youve... youve meant so much to me my whole
|
||
life!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I probably did a bad job of showing that
|
||
because im such a shitty blubbering fucking numbnut IDIOT!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: You dont think i KNOW im a fucking bonehead
|
||
who no one respects!!!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: But youre all i have to keep me anchored to
|
||
ANY feeling of true self worth i ever had!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: You taught me so much! Remember the old days
|
||
in sburb dirk?</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: Those days were the absolute BEES KNEES!
|
||
Jesus christopher CLOWNCOCK dirk!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: You taught me... taught me about...</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: Combat! Philosophy! Life! Love!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: LOVE dirk!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I dont... im so bad with feelings... i never
|
||
said it when we were together but i... i...</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: i LOVE you dirk!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I LOVE YOU!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: THERE I SAID IT I LOVE YOU!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: IVE NEVER LOVED ANYONE SO MUCH IN MY WHOLE
|
||
LIFE!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent dirk">He waits a second for a response, but my
|
||
face doesn’t move a muscle. He won’t dare waste this momentum
|
||
though. He threw in the penny. Here comes the pound.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: Dirk im BEGGING you just take me with
|
||
you!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: Its... its fine! You dont have to love
|
||
me!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: Im ok with that! Whatever you want!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I just need to be with you! Near you!
|
||
ANYTHING!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I cant stay here! Please not without you!</p>
|
||
<p class="jake">JAKE: I want to be anywhere but here as long as its
|
||
with YOU!!!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent dirk">He explodes into tears. A sloppy,
|
||
volcanic eruption of mucus, ugly noises, and the tatters of a bared
|
||
soul.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">He begins slumping to the ground. But I grab his
|
||
shoulders roughly and lift him up with a violent jerk. I look into
|
||
his eyes furiously. My glare is incinerating. It halts his
|
||
infantile wailing like a cranky baby somewhere just got tossed into
|
||
the vacuum of space. He’s scared. No, terrified. Of being left with
|
||
no one who truly cares for him. Of the magnitude of his raw,
|
||
perilously unearthed feelings. But most of all, right here, right
|
||
now. He’s terrified of ME.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">I pull him close with all my strength, flush to my
|
||
body, wrap my arms around him to cradle the back of his head in my
|
||
calloused palm, and I kiss him. It’s the softest kiss I’ve ever
|
||
given. My lips yield in a way that feels to him impossibly,
|
||
miraculously forgiving. Like cannonballing into a frozen lake only
|
||
to discover it’s not frozen at all. It’s not even water. It’s a
|
||
sheet of a thousand layers of silk. It’s a pool of a trillion
|
||
discrete, tiny, shimmering beads of chilled mercury. It’s the
|
||
final, gentle exhale of the most beautiful symphony ever played.
|
||
It’s the soothing, mythically rumored oasis where the satyrs and
|
||
nymphs once took pleasure and together forged the very concept of
|
||
comfort we understand today.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">It lasts a fleeting moment. Two ticks of the clock
|
||
over there. Two ticks longer than anyone will ever kiss him like
|
||
that again. Two ticks longer than he ever deserved.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">I move my hands up to his face, and with my palms
|
||
on his wet cheeks, I gently push his head about six inches away
|
||
from my face, and say:</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: I’m sorry, Jake.</p>
|
||
<p class="dirk">DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart
|
||
again.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent dirk">Abruptly I turn, and walk to the couch. I
|
||
pick up Rose, nod at Squarewave. He springs into action, pushing
|
||
the hand truck out the door. Without looking back, I follow, and
|
||
slam the door behind me.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</body>
|
||
</html> |