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348 lines
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat - Chapter 42</title>
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<h1>Chapter 42</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: so uhhh</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: dirk needs to be stopped from</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: doin what again?</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: everything!!!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: whatever hes trying to do RIGHT NOW!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: like.....</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: um</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: woof this is going to be hard to explain
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:\</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Are You Sure Jade</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: After All He Is The One Who Provided Me
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With The Medicine That Just Woke You Up</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: he did?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: yes</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: huh</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: ok but...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: hes the one who SHOT me in the first
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place!</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: !!!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: He What</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: why would he do that</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: he needed me to be asleep</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: so that</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: he could... um</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: argh!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: whats going on right now is really abstract,
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im sorry!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: but you have to believe me this is a
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CRISIS!!!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Okay</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: But Maybe We Shouldnt Rush To
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Judgment</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You Have Been In A Coma For Some Time</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Maybe Its Best To Take A Little While To
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Recover And Then Gather Your Thoughts</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: but.....</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: For Now I Dont See Much Reason To Doubt
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Dirks Good Intentions</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: He Gave Me This Medicine</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And We Just Had A Pretty Good Talk
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Today</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Think It Helped Me</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Clear The Air On A Few Things</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Now I Feel Better I Think</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Sad And Heartbroken Yes But</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Free</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: free</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: whatre u talkin about kanaya</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: what did he say</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Hes Going To Take Good Care Of Rose</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Probably Much Better Than Id Ever Be Able
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To</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Ill Miss Her But Im At Least Thankful For
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That</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: THANKFUL??</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: kanaya...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: did</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: did dirk KIDNAP ROSE?!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: No No</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its Not Like That At All</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You See He</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Okay</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes I Know How This Must Sound</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: so like</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: where IS rose</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: is she with him</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Theyre</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Well</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Guess They Have Formed A Strong Human
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Familial Bond Such That It Is No Longer Necessary For Rose To Have
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Me As Her Spouse</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Now They Will Leave This Planet
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Together And</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Do Important Things I Guess Which Do Not
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Concern Us</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: WHAT?????</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: No I Know</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: It Probably Sounds</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Um</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Well I Know How It Sounds But Please
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Believe Me That Appearances Are Misleading Here</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: the appearance that like</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: the dude just kidnapped ur fuckin WIFE and
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peaced out??</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Y-</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Hmm</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: you see???</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: somethings wrong!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: kanaya...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: can i just ask</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: how did you come to feel this way? like, to
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be this ok with it i mean?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: ...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: did dirk convince you to be fine with this
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directly, like in a conversation?</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: or did you just make peace with it on your
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own?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Was Running Around Desperately Trying
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To Catch Them In The Act Of Their Duplicitous Behavior</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Then</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Sat Down And Thought About It</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Realized I Was Being Foolish</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: That It Was Better To Let Rose Go If That
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Is What She Really Wanted</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: THERE!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: THATS IT!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: thats what im talking about, kanaya theres no
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WAY you would just let rose go like that without someone pulling
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the strings!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: dirks been FUCKING with you!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: hes been fucking with ALL OF US!!!</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: god damn</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: rly??</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: YES!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: kanaya! THINK about it for a second!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: think about how you REALLY feel! about rose,
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about all of this!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: are you SURE youre just... FINE with rose
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leaving just like THAT?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Im...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">It’s fine, Kanaya. Why don’t we just say
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I’m invoking the mercy rule here. Jade is onto me obviously. But I
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wouldn’t have even let her wake up if there was anything you all
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could do about it by now. As the cherub resurfaces in her mind,
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I’ll be fading out of here soon anyway. I don’t see any reason to
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keep my dear friends in limbo any longer than they need to be.</p>
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<p class="dirk">So forget what I said. All that stuff about you not
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being good enough for her. It probably wasn’t true. I mean, what do
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I know? How worthy you are of another’s company is just a matter of
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the choices you make, right? I’m sure you could figure out how to
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prove your worth to her if you really tried. For now, the only
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thing that really matters is to acknowledge it’s too late for any
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of that.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Wait</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Dont...</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Im Confused</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: ???</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Why Didnt I At Least</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Demand To See My Wife Before They
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Departed While I Had Dirk On The Phone</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: omg u didnt even SEE her before she
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left??</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: No</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: At The Time It Didnt Feel Right To Ask I
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Guess</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Was So Devastated I Thought</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: That I Should Just</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Dont Know What I Thought</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: What</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: What Was I THINKING?</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: :(</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Kanaya stares into the distance. The best
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fucking question anybody ever asked is: why am I so fucking
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awesome? I believe I’ve recently provided more than enough material
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to supply an answer to that question. But Kanaya may have just
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asked the second-best fucking question anybody ever asked. What WAS
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she thinking? What are any of us thinking, really? Who’s doing the
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thinking, and who’s having the thoughts?</p>
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<p class="dirk">The more you study the question, the more it seems
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all concrete forms of accountability go up in smoke. Her original
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thoughts were never that important, and the significance of the
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idea that she was the one authoring them was always a bit
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overrated. My mission is to someday clear this all up for everyone.
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Remove the ambiguity, suck the mud out of the water. It’ll be a lot
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better that way, trust me.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: HAVE I LOST MY FUCKING MIND?????????</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">She’s really pissed. Yikes. Couldn’t pay
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me to be in that room right now. Not for all the agency in the
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world.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: WHAT HAS DIRK DONE TO MY WIFE?!</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: whoa</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: what u mean there</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: HE DID SOMETHING TO HER!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: HE HAS CORRUPTED HER IN SOME WAY!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I KNOW ROSE! I LOVE ROSE!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: SHE WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO
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ME!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: SHE WOULDNT DO IT TO ANYONE! NOT UNLESS
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SHE WAS UNDER DURESS IN SOME WAY!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: ITS DIRK! ITS *ALWAYS* BEEN DIRK!!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: HE IS BEHIND THIS! ILL GET HIM FOR
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THIS!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: ***I SWEAR THAT I SHALL MAKE HIM PAY
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DEARLY FOR STEALING MY BELOVED WIFE!***</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: :o</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: JADE!!!!!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">She uses both hands to grab Jade by the
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hospital gown and starts shaking her vigorously. But she’s unlikely
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to get answers from her that way. If anything, she’ll cause her to
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go silent a lot more quickly than she was about to anyway. She’s
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just wresting the spirit from her slumber.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: WHY DOES DIRK HAVE TO BE STOPPED?! WHAT
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DOES THAT *MEAN*?!!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: HOW DID YOU LEARN OF ALL THIS?! TELL ME
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YOUR SECRETS DAMN IT!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: um... k-kan... kanyayaya...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: argh! p-please! s-s-stop shaking
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me-e-e-e!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: IM!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Im Sorry</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: when i was asleep, i saw things...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: and was visited in my dreams by the old muse
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who once helped us</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: callies ghost double</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: and...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: there was so much</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: all these memories from different timelines
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and such</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: sad memories, visions of death and
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sacrifices... a great battle with lord english</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: it was so overwhelming and hard to make sense
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of</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes Yes But What About DIRK</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: im trying to get to that!</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: the thing with dirk is...</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: is...</p>
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</div>
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<p>It’s happening. Roxy notices it right away, because she’s seen
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it before. And now Kanaya sees it too. A distant look in her eyes
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as she trails off. They get cloudy, turn gray, and then fill in
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completely, as if jet-black ink were flooding the vitreous bodies
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of her eyeballs. Jade isn’t here anymore.</p>
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<p>And with that, I’ll be getting my hat and coat, so to speak. No
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use lingering around here much longer. The cherub is already
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beginning to drown me out. I can feel it. But this time, I’m
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ready.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Jade?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: JADE???</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: aw no</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: not again with this shit</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: JADE! NO!</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: PLEASE SNAP OUT OF THIS...</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: THIS *GRIM CONDITION* OF SORTS</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!</p>
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</div>
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<p>She’s not going to tell you shit. Not for a good while anyway.
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It’s up to the cherub to let go of her now. And I doubt she’ll do
|
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that before I’m light-years away from this planet. She’ll keep
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jamming my signal, and won’t dare risk stopping until she knows I’m
|
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at a safe distance.</p>
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<p>Kind of a catch-22, right, Kanaya? The one who’s “protecting”
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you all from my influence is also blocking you from getting any
|
||
answers. Not that you’d even know what to do with them.</p>
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||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">they will know what to do, when
|
||
they are ready.</p>
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<p>Ha ha. Sure. They’ll all just hop in a spaceship and go on a
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wild goose chase trying to hunt me down. I know that already. It’s
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||
really not rocket science. Except for the fact that it literally
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||
is.</p>
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||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: kanaya pls chill</p>
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: ive seen this before</p>
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: theres no breakin her out of this</p>
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: except uh</p>
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i guess by doing what dirk did?</p>
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: shooting her and wakin her up and...</p>
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: man</p>
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||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: poor jade :(</p>
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||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes Poor Jade!</p>
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||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Poor Me!!</p>
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||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Poor ROSE!!!</p>
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||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: POOR EVERYONE!!!!</p>
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||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: FUCK DIRK!!!!!</p>
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||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!</p>
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||
</div>
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<p>She picks up the heart monitor and throws it out the hospital
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||
window. Holy shit?</p>
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||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she picks up the heart monitor,
|
||
and throws it out the hospital window.</p>
|
||
<p>Oh, yeah. I guess I don’t need to fucking do this anymore. Don’t
|
||
worry, I’ll bow out. Seems like you got this from here. Go nuts,
|
||
skull girl.</p>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">the monitor smashes on the
|
||
pavement below, shattering into a thousand pieces. spectators
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||
gather around, and look up. roxy is looking out the broken window
|
||
with an apologetic demeanor, a hand to his mouth.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">kanaya drops to the floor and begins
|
||
weeping again. she feels the sorrow anew from her wife’s departure,
|
||
with a sense of rage and pain unshrouded by the veil of the prince.
|
||
neither she nor her friends will have to worry about him anymore,
|
||
so long as they remain on this planet and under my protection.</p>
|
||
<p>But a bunch of them won’t remain, will they? They won’t be able
|
||
to help themselves. You know that.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...</p>
|
||
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">huddled on the floor, she
|
||
repeats this pledge to herself. theoretically, he could be stopped
|
||
before he leaves, if they hurried. they would need to know what to
|
||
do, where to go, and to have the motivation to do it, but time is
|
||
short. i could push them to, with a certain degree of intervention,
|
||
but i will not. my unwillingness to do so is what separates me from
|
||
him. and what corporeal life needs now is someone presiding over
|
||
them who is <em>nothing</em> like him at all.</p>
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||
<p>That’s a nice line. I get why you’d want to dial up the drama,
|
||
making your grand reentrance and all. But the fact is, even if they
|
||
wanted to, even if you brain-fried them all to become your own
|
||
personal cherubic puppets and sent them on the warpath to come get
|
||
me, they’d still never catch me. You still don’t get it yet.</p>
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<p class="dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">I’m
|
||
already gone.</span></p>
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