139 lines
7.2 KiB
HTML
139 lines
7.2 KiB
HTML
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<head profile='http://dublincore.org/documents/dcmi-terms/'>
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat - Chapter 8</title>
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<body>
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<div id='s8'></div>
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<div>
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<h1>Chapter 8</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="Command">> JOHN: Zap to your final destination.</p>
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<p class="no-indent">Where the hell are you?</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dave">DAVE: where the hell are we</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: i cant see shit</p>
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<p class="jade">JADE: shhh!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">It’s dark. Not like “someone turned out the
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lights out” dark. More like “someone destroyed the concept of light
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at its very source” dark. It’s a darkness that fills up your skull.
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Jake puts this more eloquently, as always:</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="jake">JAKE: By golly it is indeed dark as fuck.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: shoosh!!!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Jade breaks off from the group. She moves
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through the air gracefully, ears twitching as she sniffs through
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space like a bloodhound. “There!” she exclaims, and points down.
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All the way down.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Look down.</p>
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<p class="no-indent">All the way down beneath you there is a light
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source. Gray, focused—like a spotlight, except that it’s folded
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over the curvature of the space beneath it. At the center of it
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stands teenage Lord English, all decked out in his ostentatious god
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tier jammies. Gamzee’s there too, for some unfathomably stupid
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reason. There’s a robot bunny chilling out on top of a chest,
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lookin’ cool and kicking its cute little bunny legs back and forth.
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You hope that neither of these unexpected dramatis personae will
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play a role in the coming battle, because it wouldn’t feel right
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whaling on either of them at this point.</p>
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<p>Lord English is holding something that looks like... Lil Cal?
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It’s definitely Lil Cal, and Lord English is definitely waltzing
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around with it in his little spotlight in the middle of the
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nowhere, swinging the puppet around by both its floppy arms. Well,
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rather, he <em>was</em> waltzing around. He stopped the moment you
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looked at him.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Behold your adversary.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">You simply refuse to answer his question.
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Instead, you do something so much better. Something that will make
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both his inevitable fate and your regard for his character
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incontrovertibly clear.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Give him a thumbs-down.</p>
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<p class="no-indent">It’s a textbook thumbs-down. Better, actually.
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The kind you can’t really teach. Lord English drops the puppet. For
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a moment he looks shocked, maybe even a little afraid, but it
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passes quickly. He starts laughing.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: uh.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: NEVERMIND. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: IT WAS FORETOLD. BY THE MASTERPIECE I
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MADE. WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: what?</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: BE QUIET.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU JUST
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INTERRUPTED A GROUNDBREAKING INTERPRETIVE ART PIECE.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: IT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND.
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PERFORMED ONLY ONCE. AND MADE MORE VALUABLE FOR ITS RARENESS.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: wow.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: I SAID SHUT UP. IT’S RUDE TO TALK
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THROUGH THE OVERTURE.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: BUT DON’T WORRY. ALTHOUGH YOU MISSED
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MY VERY IMPORTANT DANCE DEMONSTRATION.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: WHICH WAS AN UNPRECEDENTED ACT OF
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GENIUS. AND NOT AT ALL EMBARRASSING.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: NOW YOU WILL PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING
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EVEN MORE IMPORTANT.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">The young Lord’s face begins to distort. The
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unhinging of his jaw reverberates in the empty space. He laughs
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through the remainder of his nefarious soliloquy, which he has
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possibly prepared in advance for this moment.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: BY NOW, SURELY MANY HAVE WITNESSED MY
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MASTERPIECE.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: AS IT HAS CIRCULATED THROUGH THE
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BLACK VEINS. OF THE DARK WEB.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: TRILLIONS HAVE WITNESSED ITS MAJESTY.
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HATERS AND FOOLS ALIKE.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: AND THEY HAVE BEEN RENDERED
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*AGOG*.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: BY MY ART VIRTUOSITY. MY
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CLAYSMANSHIP. AND MY WRESTLING MOVES.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: BUT NOW. THE TIME HAS COME.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: FOR EVERYONE TO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW
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GREAT MY MASTERPIECE WAS.</p>
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: AND THE TIME IS NOW AT HAND...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">His laughter turns into a low, cracked gurgle.
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It spikes towards you in waves, distorts and pitches low. He is
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beyond pleased with himself, and with the line he is about to
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deliver.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="caliborn">CALIBORN: FOR YOU ALL TO *BECOME* MY
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MASTERPIECE!</p>
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</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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</body>
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</html> |