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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Prologue - Chapter 3</title>
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<div id='s4'></div>
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<div>
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<h1>Chapter 3</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">I</span>t’s a
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beautiful day in the Carapace Kingdom, just like it was in the
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Human Kingdom and just like it was in Salamander Village. For
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whatever faults this paradise you created might have, you sure
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don’t hear many complaints about the weather. You’re sitting with
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Roxy and Calliope on a giant, chessboard-pattern tablecloth. It’s a
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nice touch, you think. But if you spent any time shopping in the
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Carapace Kingdom, you’d know most things you can buy are chess
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themed.</p>
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<p>Friendly carapacians go about their day around you, passing
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through the park with their eyes politely averted as they pretend
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not to notice that three celebrities are having lunch in the grass
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nearby. It’s extra polite of them, because you and Roxy are having
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a very personal conversation.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: she looked alright. mostly just tired.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: at least she seemed to have enough energy to
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babble at length about philosophical gibberish, and things about
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canon and such.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: lmao</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: guess she filled you in on all the ultimate
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self junk then</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: the what?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: the shit where she starts knowing everything
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and feelin bad</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh. that’s not the term she used. she just
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kept describing it as a condition.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you haven’t been feeling anything like that,
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right?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: what getting to know my ultimate self?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: man ive barely got a hold of my basic ass
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self</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: heh.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, she said she was the only one going
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through this, that she knew of.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: poor rose.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: at least all that medication seems to be
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keeping her sort of functional.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Roxy gives you a serious, sidelong glance.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Remember that whole totally unprovoked
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spiel Rose gave you about substance abuse.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: she said it wasn’t like that!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i mean... she said it was under control.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: well, what the fuck do i know. the only
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illicit substance i’ve ever done is lick that STUPID trickster
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lollipop.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: NEVER AGAIN.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: yeah w/e</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: cant say its much my business anymore</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: rose and i arent as close as we used to
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be</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">You nod, sort of knowingly, because you’re
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thinking about how you hadn’t talked to Rose in ages either. Roxy
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gives you a quizzical look, but you turn away before she can draw
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meaning from it.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: maryams been keeping her real busy since they
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got hitched</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: they both vanished down the brooding caverns
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and that was p much that</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: only since she got sick and spent more time
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at home did we start talkin more again</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: its been great but our conversations have
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been a lil bit upsetting</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">And, here it comes. The thing you were trying
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to avoid thinking about the moment Roxy texted you, about how you
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haven’t talked to Roxy in ages either. You were having such a nice
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time ignoring that fact, too.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Change the subject.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: so, are you and callie still living at the
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same place i last saw? the one near the tower?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">You look towards the bell tower in the
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distance. It’s a gothic building so tall that it cuts a shadow
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through the midday sun. It’s an important landmark in the
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kingdom—the tallest structure for miles around—and the only way you
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can ever navigate your way here flying. Carapace architecture is
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otherwise identic, a reflection of their functional, collectivist
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society.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: yup</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: that’s cool.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it’s a nice place.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: yeah i like it here</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: ive thought about it but ill probably never
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wanna live in a different kingdom</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: still feel most at home around the chess
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guys</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: makes sense.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: that’s about how i feel about the
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salamanders.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: which... i realize actually makes no fucking
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sense.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: haha</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: they lead simple lives.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t really care for the chaos of human or
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troll cities.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: neither do we</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">You watch Roxy smile and reach for Calliope’s
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hand.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Look away before you start dwelling on
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it.</p>
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<p class="no-indent">You start dwelling on it immediately, looking
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probably quite conspicuous with how quickly you whipped your gaze
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away. But seriously, what <em>is</em> up with their relationship?
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Is it romantic? Platonic? Can cherubs even have a romantic
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relationship? Are they even <em>interested</em> in it, like, on a
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fundamental level? Do their brains and hearts even work that way?
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Questions like this used to keep you awake at night.</p>
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<p>You look at them, at where Roxy’s fingers are entwined with
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Calliope’s green claws. Calliope is still wearing the Ring of Life.
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The same one you obtained in a ludicrous adventure through the
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afterlife, and then re-obtained in a ludicrous adventure through
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canon when it was stolen from you. It’s the same one that allowed
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Calliope to stop being dead in the first place, and to come live
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with your friends here on your beautifully renovated home planet.
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And it’s the same one you gave Roxy all those years ago, to fulfill
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a promise made to a very special new friend.</p>
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<p>At the time, the gesture felt so important. It felt more
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meaningful than any gift you’d ever given. Like there was some
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grand emotional gravitas about it that signified something deeper
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than... than what it turned out to be.</p>
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<p>You have since concluded you were just imagining things.
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Ascribing symbolic meaning to gestures that they simply didn’t
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carry, like the dumb kid you were.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Tactfully avoid saying anything at all
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about Roxy and Calliope’s weird, ambiguous relationship.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: uh, so...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">But you can’t stop thinking about it. What
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goes on in Roxy’s head. What she thinks about you.</p>
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<p>You and all your friends have dispositions affected by your
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classes and aspects. You think you know what that means in your
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case. But what about her? You can only speculate. Void is a place
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where things sink and disappear. Where they linger forever, but
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cease to exist. You aren’t actually sure if your feelings for Roxy
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ever really faded, or if they just grew numb with time and
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distance. Is it the same for her?</p>
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<p>You search your soul for the answer, but come up empty. The
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truth is, you suspect her mental interior is unfathomable. In fact,
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you feel sure of it.</p>
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<p>You wonder suddenly, watching her. This version of her, that is.
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The one with whom you share all these bittersweet memories—will you
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ever see her again?</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: ahem.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: john!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: what?</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: please forgive me if i come across as
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impatient. bUt if we are finished with the pleasantries, i believe
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yoU have a choice to make.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: huh?</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: the choice as to whether yoU will go
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defeat my brother, or stay here.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: have yoU decided yet?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: there’s a choice??</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Calliope is smiling brightly, but Roxy’s face
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has no expression at all.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: i was just assuming i had to go.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: because if i don’t, then...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: a lot of stuff will stop being real. or i
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mean, stop being canon?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: to tell you the truth, i’m a little confused
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about what will happen if i don’t go.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: but it sounds like it will probably be
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bad!</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: that may be so.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: we are not here to caUtion yoU aboUt
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the conseqUences of yoUr decision either way.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: bUt there is always a choice!</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: roxy and i merely wished to invite
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yoU here for a nice hUman picnic, and show oUr sUpport for
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whichever decision yoU make.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: tbh its a relief to finally be doin this</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it is?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: mm hm</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: how much have you actually... talked about
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this? i mean, how many people knew this was going to be a
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thing?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: just us and rose. well dirk too i think</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: shes been talkin to me about it a bunch</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: and him too but i dunno how much</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: hes got like</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: “thoughts” about all this shit</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: but whatever thats not important or even
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remotely surprising</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: bottom line, rose has been tormenting herself
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about having to tell you</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: im just glad she finally said it so she can
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rest</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: now its up to you</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: yes. take all the time yoU need.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: again, we aren’t here to inflUence
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yoU. it’s very important that the decision come from yoUr desire to
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go throUgh with it, one way or another.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: any tampering coUld taint the
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resUlts.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: taint the...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: wait, what?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: so whatll it be john</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">A chill runs through you and stays there.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Consider the gravitas of this choice.</p>
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<p class="no-indent">You try, but you can’t, because you weren’t
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really prepared for it. You didn’t think it was a choice at all
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until this very second. You think back to the way Rose looked at
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you before she went to bed. What has she told Roxy that she didn’t
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tell you? The chill tightens around your throat and turns into
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fear.</p>
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<p>No, not fear. The feeling is worse than that. It’s
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<em>regret</em>.</p>
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<p>You wasted your time here on this idyllic restoration of Earth.
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Why did you spend so much time alone? Moping around the house
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mourning your dead father, who probably would have wanted you to
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get more enjoyment out of your teen years, as well as your
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unusually early retirement. There’s so much you could have done.
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You could have even reached out to Roxy again; maybe she was
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waiting for you to do that. Maybe your withdrawal hurt her. Maybe
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she was heartbroken, just like you kind of feel right now. You
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study her perfectly stoic face and conclude nothing from it. Her
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expression reminds you of how Dave used to look, when you first met
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for real, before years of living with Karkat softened him up.
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Impenetrable cool.</p>
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<p>It’s too late to figure any of this out now. You fucked it up
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already.</p>
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<p>Unless, of course, you choose to stay.</p>
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<p>Upon further examination, you realize that Roxy’s stoicism isn’t
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cold. There’s concern there. She is displaying restraint, keeping
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quiet while you make up your mind. You’re sweating, you realize.
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Cold sweat. Even worse than the anime nightmare sweat you woke up
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soaked in this morning.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: john u ok?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: looked like you were gonna pass out there for
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a second</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Suddenly, Calliope bolts upright.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: of coUrse! what was i thinking.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: this decision is far too important to
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be made on an empty stomach.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">She fetches the picnic basket, which naturally
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has been sitting there on the tablecloth since the moment you
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arrived.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: here, before yoU choose which path
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yoU’re going to take, yoU shoUld decide what yoU’d like to eat!</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: i have packed a wide variety of
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provisions. easily enoUgh to satisfy even the most ravenoUs
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picnic-goer’s appetite.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: behold, an array of savory delights
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for the carnally inclined.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: or perhaps something for yoUr sweet
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tooth, if a lUst for treats is what stokes yoUr desire?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Calliope produces two dishes from the basket
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and begins gingerly unwrapping them. The unwrapping is so ginger,
|
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in fact, that there’s something almost dramatic about it. Like the
|
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opening theme to that boring sci-fi movie with the monolith and the
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bone-throwing monkeys should be playing as she peels away the
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cheesecloth.</p>
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<p>On one plate is a pile of meat: rare, almost bleeding cuts from
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animals you can’t identify. The other plate holds a generous heap
|
||
of colorful, exotic-looking candy. You scoot to the side and peek
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into the basket to see if there’s anything else. There’s a book in
|
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there, but no more food. This is all there is.</p>
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<p class="Command">> Contemplate your lunch.</p>
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||
<p class="no-indent">You put a finger to your lips and focus on the
|
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food with great intensity. You stop fretting about choices, and
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heartbreak, and eternity, and Lord English. Your entire world
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||
narrows to a single point of light as you are utterly consumed by
|
||
the overbearing decision about which of these absurd meals to have
|
||
for lunch.</p>
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<p class="Command">> MEAT or CANDY?</p>
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||
<p class="no-indent">Meat or candy. The two possibilities pinball
|
||
around your skull. Meat or candy. It’s a tough choice. On any other
|
||
day you might be inclined to simply follow the whims of your
|
||
cravings, but no clear victor surges to the forefront of your
|
||
mind.</p>
|
||
<p>Either option offers a tempting means of sustenance. You know
|
||
the meat will be rich and filling, and if you’re being honest with
|
||
yourself, you haven’t had the most robust diet as of late. You
|
||
didn’t even have breakfast. It’s probably a good idea to eat
|
||
something resembling a real meal for once.</p>
|
||
<p>But you’re no stranger to Calliope’s tastes, as far as
|
||
carnivorous comestibles are concerned. You know every cut on that
|
||
plate is rare to the core. It’ll fill your mouth to bursting with
|
||
juice, lie heavy on your stomach for hours to come as your body
|
||
works to break down all the nutritious protein and fat.</p>
|
||
<p>It might be tough to chew. It might be even tougher to
|
||
swallow.</p>
|
||
<p>Maybe the candy is the better choice for a picnic like this.
|
||
Something that’ll go down easy and fill you with bright energy as
|
||
you pass the time with your friends. You know you need to just let
|
||
go sometimes, and stop worrying so much about what other people
|
||
expect of you. Or even what <em>you</em> expect of you. It’s not a
|
||
bad thing to enjoy yourself just for the sake of pleasure.</p>
|
||
<p>But eat too much and all that sweetness could make you sick.</p>
|
||
<p>Roxy and Calliope glance at each other in confusion as you
|
||
deliberate over what to eat. You suppose it’s taking you a while to
|
||
choose, but each dish is appealing enough in certain ways. Each has
|
||
its potential dietary drawbacks. You don’t want to make a decision
|
||
you can’t stomach.</p>
|
||
<p>Meat or candy, John. Meat or candy?</p>
|
||
<p>You release your breath when you realize you’ve been holding it.
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||
You’re being ridiculous. What’s the sense of fussing over lunch? In
|
||
the end, it really doesn’t matter. Whatever you choose, it’ll all
|
||
be flushed down the toilet tomorrow.</p>
|
||
<p>Just go with your gut. Don’t sweat the small stuff. There are
|
||
much more important things out there to fuck yourself up over.</p>
|
||
<p class="Command">> Choose: <a href="../Text/meat_cover.xhtml">MEAT</a> or <a href="../Text/candy_cover.xhtml">CANDY</a></p>
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</div>
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||
</div>
|
||
</body>
|
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</html> |