2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 10</title>
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<div id='s10'></div>
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<div>
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<h1>Chapter 10</h1>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH3R3 3V3N 4R3 YOU</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND WHY H4V3N’T YOU SL1C3D M4K4R4 1N H4LF
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Y3T</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: he smells too bad.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t think i want to risk getting that
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close to him, until he takes a bath.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: even then i’d rather not.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: as for WHERE i am... i’m not sure you would
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believe me if i told you.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 B3T 1 WOULD</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ok. i’m, uh...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’m on a date.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: LOL</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: don’t lol at me.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 C4NT H3LP 1T, 1TS H1L4R1OUS</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WHO 4R3 YOU OUT ON 4 D4T3 W1TH?
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>:]</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: why don’t you take a guess?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OK</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS OBV1OUSLY ROXY</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4TS WRONG NOW</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU 4SK3D M3 TO GU3SS SO 1 GU3SS3D</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’m just wondering if i was really that
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obvious.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: UM, Y34H JOHN</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: W3 4R3 NOT 1D1OTS. W3 C4N 4LL DO TH3 M4TH
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ON TH1S</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO FUCK YOUR
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HUM4N MOM OR HUM4N S1ST3R</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND YOU 4R3 “NOT 4 HOMOS3XU4L,” WH1CH
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T4K3S STR1D3R D1CK OUT OFF TH3 3QU4T1ON</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND K4N4Y4 1S TH3 ONLY G1RL TROLL L3FT,
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4ND SH3 L3SB14N M4RR13D ON3 OF TH3 TWO R3M41N1NG 3L1G1BL3 HUM4N
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F3M4L3S</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH, 4ND J4K3 1S 4 DOUBL3 THR34T. 4 HUM4N
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D4D W1TH 4 HUM4N D1CK!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: SO BY PROC3SS OF 3L1M1N4T1ON, OF *COURS3*
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YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO “F4LL 1N LOV3” W1TH ROXY</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: wait...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Love? Is that how John feels about Roxy? He
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glances around at this beautiful restaurant she’s taken him to.
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Marble walls, a domed ceiling, alien plants growing up the
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scaffolding to the second floor... it’s lit by a cobweb of
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ultrathin clear wire strung with lights so that it looks like there
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are fireflies suspended above in the fake night sky. It’s a good
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place to fall in love, probably.</p>
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<p>He turns his head to see that Gamzee has stepped outside, and
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now monitors the date with his face pressed against the window.
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He’s smearing his disgusting makeup against the glass without the
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slightest concern for propriety. John accidentally makes eye
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contact with him, and Gamzee gives him a thumbs-up. A chill runs
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down John’s spine, so he goes back to his conversation with
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Terezi.</p>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M W41T1NG</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ST1LL W41T1NG</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 3GB3RT 4R3 YOU TH3R3 OR C4N 1 GO NOW</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, i just had to think about that for a
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second.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: do you really think i’m in love with her?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HOW TH3 H3LL WOULD 1 KNOW TH4T, 1M NOT 4
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M1ND R34D3R</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh, aren’t you?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i thought that’s what your mind... thingy...
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powers did.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NO 1M JUST 4N 3XC3PT1ON4LLY GOOD R34D OF
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P3OPL3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT TH4T 1 WOULD H4V3 TO B3 TO T3LL TH4T
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YOUV3 B33N FLUSH3D FOR ROXY S1NC3 YOU M3T H3R</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah i guess that’s true.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: how do you think she feels about me?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1F YOUR3 OUT ON 4 D4T3 W1TH H3R, 1 DONT
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TH1NK TH4T 1M TH3 ON3 YOU SHOULD B3 4SK1NG TH4T QU3ST1ON</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i mean... would that be an okay thing to ask
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her?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: that seems kinda... i dunno, dopey?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN 1 H4T3 TO T3LL YOU TH1S, BUT TH3R3S
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NOT MUCH YOU COULD DO 4T TH1S PO1NT TO 1NCR34S3 YOUR DOP1N3SS
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4TTR1BUT3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUV3 4LR34DY PR3TTY MUCH M4X3D OUT TH3
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DORK ST4T 4ND 1 C4N ONLY 1M4G1N3 TH4T TH3 POS1T1V3 CORR3L4T1ON
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B3TW33N YOUR CONT1NU3D 3X1T3NC3 4ND TH3 4MOUNT OF SH33R DW33B1N3SS
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YOU 3M1T H4S R3T41N3D 3XP3CT3D 3QU1L1BR1UM 1N TH3 T1M3 TH4T 1V3
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B33N GON3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: geeze. you always know what to say to people
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in their hour of need, terezi.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’m so glad that i decided to talk to
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you!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU SHOULD B3 GL4D</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M DO1NG YOU 4 B1G F4VOR 4S USU4L</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3 S33R M4GN4M1NOUSLY D3CS3ND1NG FROM
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H3R MOUNT41N 4ND D31GN1NG TO G1V3 TH3 H4PL3SS HUM4N P33RL3SS
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4DV1C3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: imagine me rolling my eyes super hard right
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now. because that’s what i’m doing.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT3D</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT TRUST M3, TH3 WORST TH1NG YOU C4N DO
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WH3N 4TT3MPT1NG TO 1N1T14T3 4 FLUSH3D R3L4T1ONSH1P 1S TO B3
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3V4S1V3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ROXY 1S 4CTU4LLY 1NCR3D1BLY D1FF1CULT TO
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R34D BUT 1 TH1NK SH3S TH3 L4ST P3RSON WHO WOULD 3V3R TRY TO J3RK
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YOU 4ROUND</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: SH3LL 4PPR3C14T3 YOU B31NG UP FRONT</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3 ONLY TH1NG 1 WOND3R 1S WH4T H4PP3N3D
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W1TH C4LL1OP3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3Y S33M3D SO H4PPY</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah that’s, uh...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: been bothering me too.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: callie was actually the one who convinced me
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to stay. roxy was all over me the moment i said i wasn’t going.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: GO1NG WH3R3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh, to fight lord english.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO F1GHT LORD
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3NGL1SH?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: um, yeah. i guess.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT YOU JUST D3C1D3D... NOT TO?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: look it’s a long story.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: actually, it’s not, but that’s not why i
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texted you. i’ll tell you some other time.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: right now, what i think i need to figure out
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is how i feel about the whole... calliope thing.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’m not afraid to ask roxy how she feels
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about me, i guess. but i think that i am afraid to ask about...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Roxy finally comes back from the restroom. He
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hears her heels click-clacking on the floor, and shoves his phone
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into his pocket in a panic, before he can follow up on the last
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line of his message. He doesn’t know why he does it in a panic.
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It’s not like he’s doing anything wrong. In fact, tapping away on
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the phone when someone leaves you alone at a table is completely
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and totally normal. Maybe it’s just that it’s kind of weird to be
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talking to a girl under the table while on a date with a completely
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different girl, no matter what his respective relationships with
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those two girls might be.</p>
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<p>His internal Rose-voice tsks at him for having such a
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gender-essentialist thought. He wonders if he’d feel quite as
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guilty if he were talking to Rose under the table instead of
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Terezi. Probably not, which is a whole tangle of stuff he doesn’t
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even want to think about. He shoots Roxy a big, bright grin when
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she slips into her seat. She grins back.</p>
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<p>He is genuinely glad to be here. Roxy is beautiful. The
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restaurant is beautiful. He feels like he’s fumbling at something
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existentially beautiful here. There’s something about the way she’s
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looking at him that makes him glad he got out of bed today. It
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makes him, for the first time in years, excited about the idea that
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the future is a thing that exists.</p>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: sorry for takin so long had to reapply the
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face u kno how it is</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: actually u probably dont but let me tell u
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makeups a BITCH</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: roxy, you don’t have to do all that for
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me!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’m basically a schlub these days. i don’t
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care if you wear makeup or not.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you... you’re pretty either way, you know
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that right?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh dont worry its not for you lol</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: but thats sweet as hell i appreciate the
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sentiment</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh. um, that’s cool. why do you need it,
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then?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: john...</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: do u ever think about like</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: gender???</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ???</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: uh. not really, i guess?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: but i don’t think girls should feel like they
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HAVE to wear makeup just because they’re girls.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: lol</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: thats not what im getting at</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: what do you mean then?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: are you, like...</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: like what</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t know. i don’t really know what we’re
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talking about.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: lol idrk either i guess</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: neway we dont gotta get super into it now
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this isnt really the setting</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: i dunno if u noticed but this place is way
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too fancy for me lmfao</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: i was all tryin to impress you with how im
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classy as fuk but now i feel like were gonna have to skip out on
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the check</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: even though we’ve got infinite money?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: yea!!</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: just a feelin i get</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: like this fancy dress is a costume</p>
|
|
|
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|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: like im just playacting at being a grown-up
|
|
|
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|
woman</p>
|
|
|
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|
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, i know that feeling. what even are
|
|
|
|
|
adults?</p>
|
|
|
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|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: good question!</p>
|
|
|
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|
<p class="john">JOHN: when i was a kid i just thought adulthood was
|
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|
|
|
something that happened to you automatically, i think.</p>
|
|
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|
<p class="john">JOHN: like the moment i turned eighteen a briefcase
|
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|
would appear in my hand and i’d have it all figured out, just like
|
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my dad seemed to.</p>
|
|
|
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|
<p class="john">JOHN: i can’t believe i’m twenty-three and still a
|
|
|
|
|
huge loser! i wonder if my dad ever thought that way about himself,
|
|
|
|
|
like he was just some big dumb kid totally messing everything up
|
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|
but trying to keep up appearances anyway.</p>
|
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|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: dont say that about urself dummy!</p>
|
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|
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|
<p class="john">JOHN: so... i’m a dummy, but i shouldn’t call
|
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|
myself dumb?</p>
|
|
|
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|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: omg you KNOW what i meant</p>
|
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|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: hmm</p>
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|
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|
</div>
|
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|
<p class="no-indent">Roxy runs one of her thin fingers around the
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|
inside rim of her water glass. It makes a very quiet squeaking
|
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noise that he can hear over the mumbled conversation around him
|
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|
because they’re sitting so very close. Her lashes look about twice
|
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|
as long in the low, pale light. They shadow her eyes so that he
|
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can’t read her expression.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
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|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
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|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: ya know i didnt even know any adults when i
|
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|
was a kid</p>
|
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|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: so i got nothin except the legends of how my
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|
|
universes rose and dave died i guess</p>
|
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|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: but thats not exactly a useful example in
|
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|
|
|
this situation</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i dunno. i think sacrificing yourself to take
|
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|
|
|
down a brutal clown dictatorship is a pretty good life lesson to
|
|
|
|
|
internalize in any situation.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lol yeah god forbid</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: but</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i mean my idea of a date for the longest time
|
|
|
|
|
was drinkin a whole bottle of wine alone while cryin in front of my
|
|
|
|
|
laptop screen</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: oh same, actually. minus the wine, and the
|
|
|
|
|
computer screen, ha ha.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: just u and ur brain contemplating the
|
|
|
|
|
infinite loneliness of singular consciousness in a vast cold
|
|
|
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|
universe</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: something like that.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: so... i guess neither of us are very good at
|
|
|
|
|
this, huh?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: thats cool with me</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: zero expectations means we got nowhere to go
|
|
|
|
|
but up</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i’ll toast to that!</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">John lifts his glass as a cute and cliché
|
|
|
|
|
thing to do, expecting no reciprocation. But she laughs and
|
|
|
|
|
actually humors him. The glasses clink together clumsily, and water
|
|
|
|
|
gets all over the complimentary breadsticks. She starts laughing
|
|
|
|
|
harder.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh john</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: why didnt we do this SOONER</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i love spendin time with you</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: youuu knooooow</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: its weird to say but</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: no one else has ever made me feel like
|
|
|
|
|
this</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">For some reason, those words make the pit in
|
|
|
|
|
his stomach grow. He lets out a nervous giggle. His arm starts to
|
|
|
|
|
shake, so violently that he gets even more water on the free
|
|
|
|
|
breadsticks. Hoo boy—he’s sweating under the collar. It’s a panic,
|
|
|
|
|
like what he felt when Roxy almost caught him texting Terezi under
|
|
|
|
|
the table, except in reverse. What about Calliope, he thinks. John
|
|
|
|
|
can’t tell what Roxy is thinking. She’s so warm and open and
|
|
|
|
|
inviting, but when John looks into her eyes... it’s almost like
|
|
|
|
|
staring into a voi—</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: wtf look behind you</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">He whips his head around to see... Dave? He’s
|
|
|
|
|
running down the street, looking back and forth like a hunted man.
|
|
|
|
|
He spots John and freezes for a moment, obviously trying to compose
|
|
|
|
|
himself. No one goes still quite like a Strider. He brushes past
|
|
|
|
|
Gamzee, who is still glued to the window to spy on the date, and
|
|
|
|
|
swaggers into the restaurant. The look on his face seems to suggest
|
|
|
|
|
he’s about to throw up, but he keeps it together. His entrance is
|
|
|
|
|
so smooth that all the dining carapacians in the vicinity
|
|
|
|
|
immediately stop talking and stare at him as he glides to the
|
|
|
|
|
table.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p>Dave sets his hand just in front of the free breadsticks and
|
|
|
|
|
angles a look at John through the panels of his shades. It looks
|
|
|
|
|
like he hasn’t slept, but it’s hard to tell with Dave. He’s out of
|
|
|
|
|
breath.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: hey dude</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: and roxy</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: uh rather...</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: hey dudes</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: sorry to imply that dude wasnt a gender
|
|
|
|
|
neutral term because it totally is</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: anyone can be a dude if they really want
|
|
|
|
|
thats part of the beauty of living in this brand new world with
|
|
|
|
|
none of the baggage our old world had like gender and sexuality and
|
|
|
|
|
relationships only involving a very specific number of people</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: dave u ok</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah totally when am i not ok</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: p often actually</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: nah im fine theres absolutely nothing strange
|
|
|
|
|
or awkward going on in my life at all</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: unrelated to anything i just said john i
|
|
|
|
|
gotta talk to you for a sec</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: ok. go ahead!</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: no i mean like outside</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: in private</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: with no one else around</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: u SURE youre ok??</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah mom im fine</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: sorry that was me being sarcastic about how
|
|
|
|
|
youre all worried over me when im just ice fucking cold levels of
|
|
|
|
|
cool at the moment</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: not referencing that youre my literal mom
|
|
|
|
|
which i know is all kinds of awkward every single time i do it</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: which is a lot i guess</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lmao i dont think its awkward at all</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh cool</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: me neither</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: mom</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: um, roxy’s right. you seem kind of off right
|
|
|
|
|
now.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: nah i just had a sudden need for a bro
|
|
|
|
|
down</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: just an unquenchable thirst to be showered in
|
|
|
|
|
a flashstorm of righteous bro juice</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: yikes.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: gotta guzzle the shit out of it like gatorade
|
|
|
|
|
after a sports match</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: help me out here my brolectrolytes are
|
|
|
|
|
low</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: john just come on its important</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, sure.... roxy, are you fine waiting
|
|
|
|
|
here by yourself for a while?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="roxy">ROXY: yea ill just be here eatin breadsticks since
|
|
|
|
|
we didnt actually order dinner</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: cool! i’ll be right back!</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">Dave shoves his hands in his pockets and leads
|
|
|
|
|
John out into the cool evening air. Gamzee offers a double
|
|
|
|
|
thumbs-up as they walk past him, which John fiercely ignores.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p>John does, however, check his phone. Subtly, but a little
|
|
|
|
|
desperately. He left Terezi hanging in the middle of a sentence and
|
|
|
|
|
he’s gotta admit, as much fun as he’s been having with Roxy,
|
|
|
|
|
there’s an annoying little voice screaming at him underneath
|
|
|
|
|
everything else he’s done and said tonight that desperately needs
|
|
|
|
|
to know what else Terezi had to say. Behind Dave’s back as he leads
|
|
|
|
|
the way, John swipes the screen to catch up with her answers,
|
|
|
|
|
smiling conspiratorially.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
</body>
|
|
|
|
|
</html>
|