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<h1>Chapter 10</h1>
<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH3R3 3V3N 4R3 YOU</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND WHY H4V3NT YOU SL1C3D M4K4R4 1N H4LF
Y3T</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: he smells too bad.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i dont think i want to risk getting that
close to him, until he takes a bath.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: even then id rather not.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: as for WHERE i am... im not sure you would
believe me if i told you.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 B3T 1 WOULD</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: ok. im, uh...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: im on a date.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: LOL</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: dont lol at me.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 C4NT H3LP 1T, 1TS H1L4R1OUS</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WHO 4R3 YOU OUT ON 4 D4T3 W1TH?
&gt;:]</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: why dont you take a guess?</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OK</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS OBV1OUSLY ROXY</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: oh...</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4TS WRONG NOW</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU 4SK3D M3 TO GU3SS SO 1 GU3SS3D</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: im just wondering if i was really that
obvious.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: UM, Y34H JOHN</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: W3 4R3 NOT 1D1OTS. W3 C4N 4LL DO TH3 M4TH
ON TH1S</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO FUCK YOUR
HUM4N MOM OR HUM4N S1ST3R</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND YOU 4R3 “NOT 4 HOMOS3XU4L,” WH1CH
T4K3S STR1D3R D1CK OUT OFF TH3 3QU4T1ON</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND K4N4Y4 1S TH3 ONLY G1RL TROLL L3FT,
4ND SH3 L3SB14N M4RR13D ON3 OF TH3 TWO R3M41N1NG 3L1G1BL3 HUM4N
F3M4L3S</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH, 4ND J4K3 1S 4 DOUBL3 THR34T. 4 HUM4N
D4D W1TH 4 HUM4N D1CK!</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: SO BY PROC3SS OF 3L1M1N4T1ON, OF *COURS3*
YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO “F4LL 1N LOV3” W1TH ROXY</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: wait...</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Love? Is that how John feels about Roxy? He
glances around at this beautiful restaurant shes taken him to.
Marble walls, a domed ceiling, alien plants growing up the
scaffolding to the second floor... its lit by a cobweb of
ultrathin clear wire strung with lights so that it looks like there
are fireflies suspended above in the fake night sky. Its a good
place to fall in love, probably.</p>
<p>He turns his head to see that Gamzee has stepped outside, and
now monitors the date with his face pressed against the window.
Hes smearing his disgusting makeup against the glass without the
slightest concern for propriety. John accidentally makes eye
contact with him, and Gamzee gives him a thumbs-up. A chill runs
down Johns spine, so he goes back to his conversation with
Terezi.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M W41T1NG</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ST1LL W41T1NG</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 3GB3RT 4R3 YOU TH3R3 OR C4N 1 GO NOW</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, i just had to think about that for a
second.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: do you really think im in love with her?</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HOW TH3 H3LL WOULD 1 KNOW TH4T, 1M NOT 4
M1ND R34D3R</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: oh, arent you?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i thought thats what your mind... thingy...
powers did.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NO 1M JUST 4N 3XC3PT1ON4LLY GOOD R34D OF
P3OPL3</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT TH4T 1 WOULD H4V3 TO B3 TO T3LL TH4T
YOUV3 B33N FLUSH3D FOR ROXY S1NC3 YOU M3T H3R</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah i guess thats true.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: how do you think she feels about me?</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1F YOUR3 OUT ON 4 D4T3 W1TH H3R, 1 DONT
TH1NK TH4T 1M TH3 ON3 YOU SHOULD B3 4SK1NG TH4T QU3ST1ON</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i mean... would that be an okay thing to ask
her?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: that seems kinda... i dunno, dopey?</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN 1 H4T3 TO T3LL YOU TH1S, BUT TH3R3S
NOT MUCH YOU COULD DO 4T TH1S PO1NT TO 1NCR34S3 YOUR DOP1N3SS
4TTR1BUT3</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUV3 4LR34DY PR3TTY MUCH M4X3D OUT TH3
DORK ST4T 4ND 1 C4N ONLY 1M4G1N3 TH4T TH3 POS1T1V3 CORR3L4T1ON
B3TW33N YOUR CONT1NU3D 3X1T3NC3 4ND TH3 4MOUNT OF SH33R DW33B1N3SS
YOU 3M1T H4S R3T41N3D 3XP3CT3D 3QU1L1BR1UM 1N TH3 T1M3 TH4T 1V3
B33N GON3</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: geeze. you always know what to say to people
in their hour of need, terezi.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: im so glad that i decided to talk to
you!</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU SHOULD B3 GL4D</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M DO1NG YOU 4 B1G F4VOR 4S USU4L</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3 S33R M4GN4M1NOUSLY D3CS3ND1NG FROM
H3R MOUNT41N 4ND D31GN1NG TO G1V3 TH3 H4PL3SS HUM4N P33RL3SS
4DV1C3</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: imagine me rolling my eyes super hard right
now. because thats what im doing.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOT3D</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT TRUST M3, TH3 WORST TH1NG YOU C4N DO
WH3N 4TT3MPT1NG TO 1N1T14T3 4 FLUSH3D R3L4T1ONSH1P 1S TO B3
3V4S1V3</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ROXY 1S 4CTU4LLY 1NCR3D1BLY D1FF1CULT TO
R34D BUT 1 TH1NK SH3S TH3 L4ST P3RSON WHO WOULD 3V3R TRY TO J3RK
YOU 4ROUND</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: SH3LL 4PPR3C14T3 YOU B31NG UP FRONT</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3 ONLY TH1NG 1 WOND3R 1S WH4T H4PP3N3D
W1TH C4LL1OP3</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3Y S33M3D SO H4PPY</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah thats, uh...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: been bothering me too.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: callie was actually the one who convinced me
to stay. roxy was all over me the moment i said i wasnt going.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: GO1NG WH3R3</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: oh, to fight lord english.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO F1GHT LORD
3NGL1SH?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: um, yeah. i guess.</p>
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT YOU JUST D3C1D3D... NOT TO?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: look its a long story.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: actually, its not, but thats not why i
texted you. ill tell you some other time.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: right now, what i think i need to figure out
is how i feel about the whole... calliope thing.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: im not afraid to ask roxy how she feels
about me, i guess. but i think that i am afraid to ask about...</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Roxy finally comes back from the restroom. He
hears her heels click-clacking on the floor, and shoves his phone
into his pocket in a panic, before he can follow up on the last
line of his message. He doesnt know why he does it in a panic.
Its not like hes doing anything wrong. In fact, tapping away on
the phone when someone leaves you alone at a table is completely
and totally normal. Maybe its just that its kind of weird to be
talking to a girl under the table while on a date with a completely
different girl, no matter what his respective relationships with
those two girls might be.</p>
<p>His internal Rose-voice tsks at him for having such a
gender-essentialist thought. He wonders if hed feel quite as
guilty if he were talking to Rose under the table instead of
Terezi. Probably not, which is a whole tangle of stuff he doesnt
even want to think about. He shoots Roxy a big, bright grin when
she slips into her seat. She grins back.</p>
<p>He is genuinely glad to be here. Roxy is beautiful. The
restaurant is beautiful. He feels like hes fumbling at something
existentially beautiful here. Theres something about the way shes
looking at him that makes him glad he got out of bed today. It
makes him, for the first time in years, excited about the idea that
the future is a thing that exists.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: sorry for takin so long had to reapply the
face u kno how it is</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: actually u probably dont but let me tell u
makeups a BITCH</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: roxy, you dont have to do all that for
me!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: im basically a schlub these days. i dont
care if you wear makeup or not.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: you... youre pretty either way, you know
that right?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh dont worry its not for you lol</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: but thats sweet as hell i appreciate the
sentiment</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: oh. um, thats cool. why do you need it,
then?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: john...</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: do u ever think about like</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: gender???</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: ???</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: uh. not really, i guess?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: but i dont think girls should feel like they
HAVE to wear makeup just because theyre girls.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lol</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: thats not what im getting at</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: what do you mean then?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: are you, like...</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: like what</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i dont know. i dont really know what were
talking about.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lol idrk either i guess</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: neway we dont gotta get super into it now
this isnt really the setting</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i dunno if u noticed but this place is way
too fancy for me lmfao</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i was all tryin to impress you with how im
classy as fuk but now i feel like were gonna have to skip out on
the check</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: even though weve got infinite money?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: yea!!</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: just a feelin i get</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: like this fancy dress is a costume</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: like im just playacting at being a grown-up
woman</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, i know that feeling. what even are
adults?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: good question!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: when i was a kid i just thought adulthood was
something that happened to you automatically, i think.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: like the moment i turned eighteen a briefcase
would appear in my hand and id have it all figured out, just like
my dad seemed to.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i cant believe im twenty-three and still a
huge loser! i wonder if my dad ever thought that way about himself,
like he was just some big dumb kid totally messing everything up
but trying to keep up appearances anyway.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: dont say that about urself dummy!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: so... im a dummy, but i shouldnt call
myself dumb?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: omg you KNOW what i meant</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: hmm</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Roxy runs one of her thin fingers around the
inside rim of her water glass. It makes a very quiet squeaking
noise that he can hear over the mumbled conversation around him
because theyre sitting so very close. Her lashes look about twice
as long in the low, pale light. They shadow her eyes so that he
cant read her expression.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: ya know i didnt even know any adults when i
was a kid</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: so i got nothin except the legends of how my
universes rose and dave died i guess</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: but thats not exactly a useful example in
this situation</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i dunno. i think sacrificing yourself to take
down a brutal clown dictatorship is a pretty good life lesson to
internalize in any situation.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lol yeah god forbid</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: but</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i mean my idea of a date for the longest time
was drinkin a whole bottle of wine alone while cryin in front of my
laptop screen</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: oh same, actually. minus the wine, and the
computer screen, ha ha.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: just u and ur brain contemplating the
infinite loneliness of singular consciousness in a vast cold
universe</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: something like that.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: so... i guess neither of us are very good at
this, huh?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: thats cool with me</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: zero expectations means we got nowhere to go
but up</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: ill toast to that!</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">John lifts his glass as a cute and cliché
thing to do, expecting no reciprocation. But she laughs and
actually humors him. The glasses clink together clumsily, and water
gets all over the complimentary breadsticks. She starts laughing
harder.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh john</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: why didnt we do this SOONER</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i love spendin time with you</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: youuu knooooow</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: its weird to say but</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: no one else has ever made me feel like
this</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">For some reason, those words make the pit in
his stomach grow. He lets out a nervous giggle. His arm starts to
shake, so violently that he gets even more water on the free
breadsticks. Hoo boy—hes sweating under the collar. Its a panic,
like what he felt when Roxy almost caught him texting Terezi under
the table, except in reverse. What about Calliope, he thinks. John
cant tell what Roxy is thinking. Shes so warm and open and
inviting, but when John looks into her eyes... its almost like
staring into a voi—</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: oh</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: wtf look behind you</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">He whips his head around to see... Dave? Hes
running down the street, looking back and forth like a hunted man.
He spots John and freezes for a moment, obviously trying to compose
himself. No one goes still quite like a Strider. He brushes past
Gamzee, who is still glued to the window to spy on the date, and
swaggers into the restaurant. The look on his face seems to suggest
hes about to throw up, but he keeps it together. His entrance is
so smooth that all the dining carapacians in the vicinity
immediately stop talking and stare at him as he glides to the
table.</p>
<p>Dave sets his hand just in front of the free breadsticks and
angles a look at John through the panels of his shades. It looks
like he hasnt slept, but its hard to tell with Dave. Hes out of
breath.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="dave">DAVE: hey dude</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: and roxy</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: uh rather...</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: hey dudes</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: sorry to imply that dude wasnt a gender
neutral term because it totally is</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: anyone can be a dude if they really want
thats part of the beauty of living in this brand new world with
none of the baggage our old world had like gender and sexuality and
relationships only involving a very specific number of people</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: dave u ok</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah totally when am i not ok</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: p often actually</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: nah im fine theres absolutely nothing strange
or awkward going on in my life at all</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: unrelated to anything i just said john i
gotta talk to you for a sec</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: ok. go ahead!</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: no i mean like outside</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: in private</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: with no one else around</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: u SURE youre ok??</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah mom im fine</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: sorry that was me being sarcastic about how
youre all worried over me when im just ice fucking cold levels of
cool at the moment</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: not referencing that youre my literal mom
which i know is all kinds of awkward every single time i do it</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: which is a lot i guess</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lmao i dont think its awkward at all</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh cool</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: me neither</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: mom</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: um, roxys right. you seem kind of off right
now.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: nah i just had a sudden need for a bro
down</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: just an unquenchable thirst to be showered in
a flashstorm of righteous bro juice</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yikes.</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: gotta guzzle the shit out of it like gatorade
after a sports match</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: help me out here my brolectrolytes are
low</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: john just come on its important</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, sure.... roxy, are you fine waiting
here by yourself for a while?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: yea ill just be here eatin breadsticks since
we didnt actually order dinner</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: cool! ill be right back!</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Dave shoves his hands in his pockets and leads
John out into the cool evening air. Gamzee offers a double
thumbs-up as they walk past him, which John fiercely ignores.</p>
<p>John does, however, check his phone. Subtly, but a little
desperately. He left Terezi hanging in the middle of a sentence and
hes gotta admit, as much fun as hes been having with Roxy,
theres an annoying little voice screaming at him underneath
everything else hes done and said tonight that desperately needs
to know what else Terezi had to say. Behind Daves back as he leads
the way, John swipes the screen to catch up with her answers,
smiling conspiratorially.</p>
</div>
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