2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 27</title>
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<div id='s27'></div>
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<div>
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<h1>Chapter 27</h1>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">T</span>en years
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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have gone by.</p>
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<p>Two minutes before midnight, a teenage boy crosses beneath the
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neon lights of the Trollish slums, stepping quick and sure-footed
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atop the cracked pavement as if this is a path he’s walked many
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times. He’s got on a coat two sizes too big and a brimmed hat
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pulled down to hide his distinctive buck-toothed grin. Above him,
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Jane Crocker’s face beams out from a holographic propaganda
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display, reminding the populace that curfew is in fifteen
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minutes.</p>
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<p>This boy would like to say that he’s too cool and daring to care
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about curfew, but the sound of Jane’s cloying, prerecorded voice
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rising above the noisy streets sends an involuntary shiver down his
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spine. Luckily, the girl he’s come to meet does not suffer from the
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same instinctive Jane-based anxiety. She doesn’t have many fears or
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inhibitions at all. About a block from where they usually meet, she
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swings out of an alleyway and yanks him in by his elbow. He lets
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loose a shrill, unmasculine noise right into her mouth before she
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shuts him up with a kiss.</p>
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<p>After a few minutes of extremely novice make-out action, Harry
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Anderson and Vriska part, both wet-mouthed and short of breath.
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Harry Anderson wipes a bit of blood off of his bottom lip. Vriska
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pokes him in the chest and hisses.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: What took you so long????????</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: hey, give me a break here vris. my
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auntie has guards breathing down my neck day and night.</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Ugh. How’d you get out this time?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Harry Anderson rolls his eyes. He has
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beautiful eyes. He’s a pretty successful combination of his
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parents’ genes, all things considered. He’s got his father’s
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infectious grin, his mother’s long eyelashes, and his “auntie’s”
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unusually blue eyes.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: fucking gamzee.</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: he was all like:</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: Yo HaRrY mY dAwG, yOu Go OuT aNd
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GeT yOuRsElF uP a SlIcE oF tHaT pRiMe BeEf VrIsKeT, mY oNe TrUe
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HoMiE. lOvE iS wHaT mAkEs ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg EaRtH sPiN oN iTs AxIs.
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ThAt, AnD bEiNg PoLiTiCaLlY nEuTrAl, BrOtHeR.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Vriska doubles over laughing at Harry
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Anderson’s impressively spot-on imitation of Gamzee’s mulish lilt
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and vaguely lewd posture. Harry Anderson starts giggling too. He
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can’t help it. She’s so pretty and her laugh is both cruel and
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infectious.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: god! he always makes sure to point
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out that he’s politically neutral in literally every sentence that
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comes out of his mouth, even though he’s *definitely* still fucking
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my aunt.</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Ugh, so l8me.</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: This is all so l8me!!!!!!!! All in all,
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such a Deeply Unsatisfactory state of affairs!</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: yeah. i hate sneaking around like
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this. i wish i could see you every day.</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: or even, like, tell my mom that i
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have a girlfriend so she can stop pestering me about it.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Vriska hooks two fingers under the hem of
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Harry Anderson’s shirt and reels him in close.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: In thaaaaaaaat case...</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Why don’t we run aw8y and join the
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rebellion together, Harry Anderson? Wouldn’t that be Terribly
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Rom8ntic????????</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: We could be wild rebels in love, like
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Karkat and Meenah!</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Isn’t their story GR8? I get so inspired
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thinking about it.</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: oh, i don’t know if i could pull
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that off vriska... i don’t really have the, y’know, rebellious
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*stature* of someone like karkat vantas.</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Pffft, ahahahahahahahaha. He’s Extremely
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Short in real life, you know!</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t know if that’s actually
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true? i think it might just be something people assume because of,
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y’know, his personality. like he’s overcompensating or
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something.</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, i don’t *remember* him
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being that short.</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Oh yeah? The last time you saw him you
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were like three years old. Get real, Harry Anderson!</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: oh? and when’s the last time *you*
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saw him?</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: ...</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: ha ha! :p</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Vriska shoves Harry Anderson. Not playfully.
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He hits the bricks behind him with a soft ‘oof,’ then keeps
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laughing.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERON: oh my god, vriska, you always talk
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so big but you’re not any more of a rebel than i am!</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Oh shuuuuuuuut up. You don’t know shit,
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Harry.</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: My moms are totally gonna get me a Prime
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Commission in the Resist8nce when I turn sixteen!!!!!!!!</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: yeah yeah, whatever you say.</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: It’s TRUE!</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: But until then, guess we’ll never know
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whether it’s an official f8ct that Karkat is short or not.</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: i guess so!</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: but anyway i wasn’t talking about
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his height. i was talking about the eyepatch.</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, i believe in troll rights
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and everything...</p>
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Um, I should HOPE so.</p>
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<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: ...but not enough to lose an eye
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over it.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Vriska snorts at him condescendingly.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: Don’t be ridiculous Harry.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">She pushes him up against the wall again and
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kisses him hard.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="vriska">VRISKA: If we really do end up absconding from
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our mediocre Hot Teen Lives to become rebels, then OBVI8USLY I’m
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going to be the one with the Extremely Dashing And Sexy eyepatch.
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H8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8!!!!!!!!</p>
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</div>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small weight-bold">—</div>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: hmm its getting pretty bad down there</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: wh0 cares.</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: this is 0fficially s0mething we d0n’t
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care ab0ut, right?</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: i dont know</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: is it</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: this world is inconsequential.</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: well there you have it</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Aradia lies with her chin in her palms and
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looks over the edge of the meteor station. Under the shade of
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night, the cities of the Troll Kingdom form a twinkling filigree
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over the rocky landscape below, a hundred rivers of gossamer lights
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in all the colors of the hemospectrum. Jane’s fleet is so massive
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that it blots out the lights of the capital. Is this what Alternia
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looked like from the sky as well? Aradia lived far from the city,
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and that all seems so long ago anyway. Sollux comes to stand by
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her, popping open a can of fizzy drink.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: karkats really going to fight that war
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isnt he</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: yeah.</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: i didn’t think he had it in him, but
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apparently all it takes f0r him t0 bec0me the her0 he was meant t0
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be was f0r things t0 get extremely fucking stupid.</p>
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<p class="sollux">SOLLUX: like, WAY m0re stupid than usual.</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: yes</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: it really is too bad hes reaching this
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heroic apotheosis of his in a world that doesnt matter</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: please do not mistake the essence of
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my words for indifference.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: when i said that this world was
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inconsequential, i was talking objectively. we’ve moved far beyond
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the realm of canon relevance, but on a subjective level we can view
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this world as a glass bubble.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: fragile, solitary, with a surface
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uncracked.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: the actions, struggles and feelings
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of its inhabitants are certainly not inconsequential to them.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">JADE: while abstracted heavily, and fully
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freed from all forces of narrative gravity, these events still
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represent possibilities that slept within the hearts of all who
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reside here.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Sollux tosses Aradia a can of fizzy drink. She
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catches it without looking, cracks it open and takes a long,
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refreshing sip of the hissing liquid.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: hm</p>
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<p class="aradia">ARADIA: in that case i guess we should keep
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watching</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">On Earth C, months go by at a breakneck pace.
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Teens fall in and out of love and hate. Alliances change,
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revolutions fully germinate, wars commence. And somewhere within
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that mess, John Egbert is the best man at Jade and Dave’s wedding.
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He lasts nearly two hours before he gets a ruinous case of the
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sniffles.</p>
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<p>The event is being held semi-clandestinely in the mansion of one
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of Jake’s wealthy television exec friends, staged as a “reunion
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party” for whichever one of his old, stupid television shows people
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get nostalgic about these days. It’s a smokescreen meant to throw
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the human government off the scent of political radicals like Rose
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and Kanaya partying just twenty miles from the seat of power. Jake
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claims there’s no way they’ll find them, but John sometimes gets
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the feeling that the whole planet’s bugged. After nearly ten years
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of unfettered monetary interference in the upper echelons of the
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global hegemony, could something like this possibly fly under
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Jane’s radar? It can’t, right? John likes to think she’s not so far
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gone that she’d tip off the government to send troops to arrest her
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friends and family on the occasion of her ecto-daughter’s
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wedding.</p>
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<p>So he smiles his way through his best man duties, then smiles
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his way again through the gallows-humor speech Rose gives at
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dinner, backlit by the flames of the Imperial Drone factories
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churning away on the horizon. He wears a possibly genuine
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expression for a few moments as he dips down to give Jade a kiss on
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the forehead. She looks beautiful in her dress, and Dave doesn’t
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look especially uncomfortable beside her. There is still joy to be
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found on the eve of a war, Rose says in her speech, but John found
|
|
|
|
|
precious little to be happy about in this world even before
|
|
|
|
|
everything went off the fucking chain. He is conspicuously
|
|
|
|
|
unaccompanied. Not alone, of course: he’s been put in a honored
|
|
|
|
|
seat at the head of the wedding party with Jade to his left and
|
|
|
|
|
Rose to his right. But Jade is with Dave, and Rose has Kanaya and
|
|
|
|
|
their daughter, and everyone knows that John has lost his family to
|
|
|
|
|
Jane Crocker.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p>Well, not literally to Jane Crocker. What drove Roxy away was
|
|
|
|
|
him being depressed and just an all-around huge wet blanket who was
|
|
|
|
|
impossible to live with. John is totally ready to own the fact that
|
|
|
|
|
he was a bad husband, but maybe not the fact that he was a bad
|
|
|
|
|
enough husband to drive his wife to passively support a brewing
|
|
|
|
|
genocidal dictatorship. She looks happier, though, whenever he’s
|
|
|
|
|
caught sight of her behind Jane—Calliope faithfully at her side—in
|
|
|
|
|
any of the propaganda broadcasts that Jane passes off as business
|
|
|
|
|
press conferences. By the time Roxy finally cut things off between
|
|
|
|
|
them, he hadn’t personally seen her smile in years.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p>John has no idea how Harry Anderson is doing, but he definitely
|
|
|
|
|
caught Vriska texting him under the table when he got up to get
|
|
|
|
|
another flute of champagne. She’s texting Tavros in another window,
|
|
|
|
|
which is weird, but probably not as weird as John craning his neck
|
|
|
|
|
to read messages over a teenage girl’s shoulder. The idea that
|
|
|
|
|
Rose’s shitty daughter has more contact with his son than he does
|
|
|
|
|
makes his eyes start to itch. He wanders out onto the ballroom
|
|
|
|
|
balcony so that no one else has to see him cry for a second time
|
|
|
|
|
tonight. It’s a balmy evening, and John can smell the oil burning
|
|
|
|
|
at the forge across the harbor.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p>There’s someone else occupying the balcony already, and it’s not
|
|
|
|
|
one of the party guests. A shadow, standing with its back to the
|
|
|
|
|
ocean, arms crossed, gaze fixed firmly on the ballroom windows.
|
|
|
|
|
John takes a step closer and immediately recognizes Karkat’s nubby
|
|
|
|
|
horns and distinctive shoulder-hunch. Of course.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p>John snorts back his tears and jaunts forward with a jolly
|
|
|
|
|
wave.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-10-28 03:27:28 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: hi, karkat!</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">Karkat blinks and looks up, startled out of
|
|
|
|
|
his thoughts. He’s grown gaunt since John last saw him in real
|
|
|
|
|
life. In his Alternian military fatigues, and his admittedly
|
|
|
|
|
bitchin’ eyepatch, he looks almost imposing. Kind of dashing,
|
|
|
|
|
actually. When he opens his mouth, however, he’s just the same old
|
|
|
|
|
Karkat.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: HI AGAIN IDIOT.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: what are you doing standing out here alone
|
|
|
|
|
like a creep?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">Karkat’s frown gets deeper, and he picks at
|
|
|
|
|
the red cording that runs down the breastplate of his uniform.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I REALLY SHOULDN’T BE HERE.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: why not? you were on the guest list.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OH, HMM, I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE THINK ABOUT
|
|
|
|
|
IT FOR TEN SECONDS, JOHN.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">John chews his lip and thinks about it for ten
|
|
|
|
|
seconds.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i guess this would probably be pretty hard to
|
|
|
|
|
watch if you were still, you know, all heartbroken about it.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: I WOULDN’T SAY THAT I WAS STILL “ALL
|
|
|
|
|
HEARTBROKEN” ABOUT IT.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: BUT...</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: but?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">John joins him at railing and bumps his
|
|
|
|
|
shoulder. Karkat groans and runs a hand down his face, obviously
|
|
|
|
|
still a little “all heartbroken” about it.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: IT’S JUST THAT BREAK UPS ARE HARD, AND
|
|
|
|
|
OFTEN HAVE UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES THAT CAN LINGER FOR YEARS.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: you’re telling me. when my wife left me, she
|
|
|
|
|
took an entire political faction with her.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: those chess guys sure do love roxy, don’t
|
|
|
|
|
they?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: UGH.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: YEAH, THE CARAPACIAN-HUMAN ALLIANCE HAS
|
|
|
|
|
BEEN CAUSING US NOTHING BUT PAIN TO BE ENTIRELY FUCKING HONEST.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO BE AGAINST THE
|
|
|
|
|
*CARAPACIANS*. THEY’RE HARMLESS.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: THE FACT THAT THEY DIDN’T EVEN GET TO
|
|
|
|
|
VOTE ON WHETHER OR NOT THEY SHOULD RATIFY THE TREATY REALLY
|
|
|
|
|
COMPLICATES THE MATTER. THE WHOLE THING IS A DISASTER ON JUST ABOUT
|
|
|
|
|
EVERY LEVEL.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: oh. sorry about that.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OH MY GOD JOHN, STOP BEING SO FUCKING
|
|
|
|
|
PATHETIC FOR JUST A MINUTE. COULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t know. that’s a pretty big favor
|
|
|
|
|
you’re asking me there, karkat.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: LOOK, I DON’T PERSONALLY BLAME YOU FOR
|
|
|
|
|
ANY OF THIS.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, FOR YOU TO HAVE HAD
|
|
|
|
|
ANYTHING TO DO WITH A MASSIVE SHIFT IN GEOPOLITICAL
|
|
|
|
|
ALLEGIANCES?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: THAT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE REQUIRED YOU
|
|
|
|
|
LEAVE YOUR FUCKING HOUSE FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: wow.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: good pep talk.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i’m 100% over my separation now. thanks
|
|
|
|
|
karkat.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: JOHN, SERIOUSLY THOUGH.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: YOU DO HAVE TO GET OVER ROXY EVENTUALLY.
|
|
|
|
|
WITH EVERYTHING THAT’S GOING ON, CAN YOU REALLY AFFORD TO WASTE
|
|
|
|
|
ANOTHER FIVE YEARS MALINGERING IN YOUR BEDROOM LIKE A PIECE OF
|
|
|
|
|
FUCKING GARBAGE?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: YOU KNOW</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: THE REBELLION COULD REALLY USE A GUY LIKE
|
|
|
|
|
YOU.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: if you think that i haven’t been given the
|
|
|
|
|
exact speech you’re about to give me, except about six or seven
|
|
|
|
|
times the length, then you don’t know rose lalonde.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OK. THEN WHAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: YOU HATE WHAT THE GOVERNMENT IS DOING AS
|
|
|
|
|
MUCH AS THE REST OF US DO!</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">John turns around so that he can rest his
|
|
|
|
|
elbows on the bannister. The angle of the moon is cutting a sharp
|
|
|
|
|
stroke of light over the water, like a blade descending from the
|
|
|
|
|
night sky to shear the harbor in half. He takes a despondent sip of
|
|
|
|
|
his champagne and sighs.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i dunno. it doesn’t seem responsible,
|
|
|
|
|
really... to dedicate my life to something so important when i’m in
|
|
|
|
|
a place where i can’t even find the energy to think that getting
|
|
|
|
|
out of bed in the morning is “important.”</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: in fact, it seems like it would be a pretty
|
|
|
|
|
fucking selfish thing to do.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: what if i get distracted because i’m sad?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: what if i fuck up by staring too tragically
|
|
|
|
|
into the distance on an important mission, and i get killed in a
|
|
|
|
|
stupid way?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: JOHN, AREN’T YOU TECHNICALLY IMMORTAL
|
|
|
|
|
*SPECIFICALLY* IN CASES OF “GETTING KILLED IN A STUPID WAY”?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah. but you aren’t. and neither are most of
|
|
|
|
|
your followers.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">Karkat’s expression turns hard, regretful.
|
|
|
|
|
It’s a frown made of granite, or some other manly kind of rock that
|
|
|
|
|
chips easily when dropped. His one eye is glinting bright gold,
|
|
|
|
|
reflecting the light from the party. He opens his mouth to say
|
|
|
|
|
something, but is distracted by movement from inside the
|
|
|
|
|
ballroom.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: OH SHIT.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="karkat">KARKAT: HERE COMES DAVE. I HAVE TO GET THE FUCK
|
|
|
|
|
OUT OF HERE.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">He fumbles with something at his wrist, and
|
|
|
|
|
out pops a grappling line. With unexpected smoothness, he hitches
|
|
|
|
|
it over the edge of the balcony and leaps the railing in a single,
|
|
|
|
|
elegant bound. John watches him rappel down the cliffside until he
|
|
|
|
|
disappears beneath the precipice shadows. Wow. Karkat grew up to be
|
|
|
|
|
kind of cool. Who would have guessed?</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-10-28 03:27:28 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: no john dont do it</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">John spins on his heel to see Dave in the
|
|
|
|
|
doorway, holding a bottle of champagne. He looks smart in his
|
|
|
|
|
three-piece tux, but he’s still sporting the same old Stiller
|
|
|
|
|
shades, which always serve to remind John how hard it is to believe
|
|
|
|
|
this guy’s almost forty. Jesus Christ, are they seriously almost
|
|
|
|
|
forty? Yes, they’re technically immortal—that doesn’t mean the
|
|
|
|
|
encroaching milestone isn’t making him feel dizzy nonetheless.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: huh? don’t do what?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh you looked pretty bummed when you left the
|
|
|
|
|
reception and then i find you staring at the ocean like you just
|
|
|
|
|
snorted six lines of powdered midlife crisis off the bathroom
|
|
|
|
|
counter</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: so i guess “the joke” was like</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: haha dont literally commit suicide at my
|
|
|
|
|
wedding dude lol</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: not to commit suicide at my fucking wedding
|
|
|
|
|
is pretty obvious</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: but in retrospect i guess its not that
|
|
|
|
|
funny</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: but seriously john dont kill yourself</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i wasn’t going to kill myself!</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: id miss you and also itd bum out jade pretty
|
|
|
|
|
bad and i have so thoroughly hitched my star to that yifftrain in
|
|
|
|
|
case you havent noticed</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: yifftrain?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah man you see she-</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t wanna know!</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: anyway, i was just, uh...</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">John decides it’s probably better not to
|
|
|
|
|
mention what he was actually doing. And definitely not to mention
|
|
|
|
|
who just rappelled off the balcony with alarming stealth and
|
|
|
|
|
grace.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: ...appreciating how pretty the view is.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: hm yeah i love the sight of the military
|
|
|
|
|
industrial complex destroying the landscape in the evening</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: come on, that’s obviously not what i
|
|
|
|
|
meant.</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">Dave comes to join John at the bannister,
|
|
|
|
|
gazing out over the water with a look at least as existential as
|
|
|
|
|
John’s. John isn’t sure what to say about that, so he wiggles his
|
|
|
|
|
empty glass, looking for another shot of sparkling social
|
|
|
|
|
lubricant. Dave tops him off before taking a long swig off the
|
|
|
|
|
bottle himself.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: you okay, dude?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: eh</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: having been married once before, i gotta
|
|
|
|
|
say... it’s all kind of overwhelming, huh?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah i guess</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: i dunno jade and i have been together so long
|
|
|
|
|
this all just feels like</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">Dave shrugs.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: whatever</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: i was sort of hoping that</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: i mean considering that were working together
|
|
|
|
|
in the rebellion and everything</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: i was hoping that karkat would show</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: oh...</p>
|
|
|
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="no-indent">John looks down and twirls the stem of his
|
|
|
|
|
glass between two fingers.</p>
|
2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: so you’re still not... um, over that?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="john">JOHN: the whole karkat thing?</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: i mean will i ever be over it??</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: the way i felt about him probably isnt the
|
|
|
|
|
kind of shit you just get over</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: you just sorta</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: live with it</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: no matter how it turns out</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: but hes with meenah and im with jade and the
|
|
|
|
|
whole worlds gone fucking batshit so whats the point in looking
|
|
|
|
|
backwards now</p>
|
|
|
|
|
<p class="dave">DAVE: right?</p>
|
|
|
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">John swallows a lump down his throat. Terezi’s
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picture is still in his wallet: faded, dog-eared, marred by ragged
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white lines down the center from being folded and unfolded so many
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times, deep enough to be called valleys at this point.</p>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-10-28 03:27:28 -05:00
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<p class="john">JOHN: right.</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: right</p>
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</div>
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="no-indent">They fall silent for a moment, soaking up the
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atmosphere, sipping their booze, contemplating the suckiness of
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being an adult. Dave lets out a soft laugh and slaps John on the
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back. John swallows his champagne wrong and starts coughing.</p>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="dave">DAVE: yo dude thanks for being my best man</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: *cough* oh. th-thanks, man. no problem!</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: cuz you are</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: ya know</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: youre my best bro</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: my main man</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: my most devoted dude</p>
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<p class="dave">DAVE: cheers john</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: cheers, dave.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">They toast, lip of the glass to rim of the
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bottle. The sound rings out above the noise of the party inside. It
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rises up above the ocean, to where the stars are turning and dawn
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is already breaking on some other part of the planet. That’s how
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the years pass. Faster and faster the longer it goes. For those
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living on this iteration of Earth C, like John and Dave, it appears
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to be an illusion of age, an old adage about perception changing
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the older you get. The days get shorter the more the regrets pile
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up.</p>
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<p>But that’s only part of it. Above this Earth, the dead cherub is
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still meditating, waiting for the day when she can have her own
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heroic apotheosis. Waiting for the day when she can confront the
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one she calls the Prince. And on this Earth, John is just waiting
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for the day that feeling finally stops. That feeling that he’s
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still waiting for something, and the even worse feeling that years
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ago, he missed his only chance to put an end to it. If you stand on
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a very high hill at dawn, you can watch your shadow move in an arc
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around you.</p>
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<p>Ten years to the day he last spoke with Terezi, John finally
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gets rid of her photograph. He stands at the top of a very high
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hill, rips it into six pieces and lets the wind carry it away.
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Whatever else happens now... it doesn’t matter.</p>
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</div>
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