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* Fix all small text lines in Meat to have proper styles (Closes #1) 

* Change Homestuck-Regular font file from ttf to otf for proper epub support
* Added Homesetuck-Regular definition to CSS
* Change Tavros Crocker's lines to use `.tavros-kid` instead of `.gamzee` class
master
Jay Logan 2020-04-08 06:12:22 -05:00
parent f9f3f2db3e
commit af4a832d0d
11 changed files with 100 additions and 166 deletions
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@font-face {
font-family: "Homestuck-Regular";
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sinkholes. John’s heart wrenches at the sight of him. He’s so
young, but he always looks so somber and sad.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Oh,,, hallo folks,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: You’re a mite early don’t you think?</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Oh,,, hallo folks,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: You’re a mite early don’t you think?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: um, nope!</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: actually</p>
</div>
@ -165,7 +165,7 @@
<p class="dave">DAVE: anyway john roxy you heard the lady can we
buy your kid</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: no! he’s not for sale.</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Um,,, do you all want to come in or
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Um,,, do you all want to come in or
not,,,?</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Tavros has been waiting patiently for the
@ -176,13 +176,13 @@
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: sooo</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: wheres ur mom and dad</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: They’re still in,,, uh,,, auspistice
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: They’re still in,,, uh,,, auspistice
counselling,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: W, with,,, uncle gamzee,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: W, with,,, uncle gamzee,,,</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: oh woof</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: woof is right</p>
<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: hey tavros! is vriska here?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Er,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Er,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: unfortunately, harry anderson, rose and
kanaya aren’t on speaking terms with your aunt jane and uncle jake
anymore.</p>
@ -194,7 +194,7 @@
<p class="roxy">ROXY: cuz of the political situation</p>
<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: what’s... a political
situation?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Mother has been advising the human
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Mother has been advising the human
government that they should do their best to,,, uh,,, exclude
trolls from the seats of power in all branches of public service
and,,, uh,,, aunts rose and kanaya don’t like it because some of
@ -208,12 +208,12 @@
educated on the intricacies of xenophobic political policy. But
then again, this is Jane’s son, they remind themselves.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Anyway,,, wh, why would you WANT vriska
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Anyway,,, wh, why would you WANT vriska
to be here,,,?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Why ruin a nice birthday party?</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Why ruin a nice birthday party?</p>
<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: um duh... cause she’s super
fun!</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: She’s not fun,,, she’s mean,,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: She’s not fun,,, she’s mean,,,,</p>
<p class="harry">HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, to you, cause you’re a
wuss.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: harry anderson egbert!</p>
@ -266,7 +266,7 @@
<p class="no-indent">Tavros stares at his feet, wearing a strained
expression.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: It’s fine,,, my parents are kismeses
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: It’s fine,,, my parents are kismeses
after all,,,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Jane storms downstairs. Her guests are
@ -283,7 +283,7 @@
the door. I had some pre-appointed business to attend to.</p>
<p class="jane">JANE: I trust that Tavros led you all inside
without trouble?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Yes ma’am,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Yes ma’am,,,</p>
<p class="jane">JANE: Good boy.</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Jane pats him on the head as she goes by,
@ -430,7 +430,7 @@
free to unknow it now sweetie</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh yeah</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats totally it</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Um,,,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Um,,,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: hey tavros.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: let’s go, buddy!</p>
</div>
@ -439,19 +439,19 @@
away from the party, Tavros wrenches his hands together and
asks:</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Uncle john,,, what’s the real reason
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Uncle john,,, what’s the real reason
we’re up here,,,?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: oh. i could see that you were getting
uncomfortable.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: you don’t like being around big crowds like
that, do you?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: ,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: ,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: but you don’t like to be alone, either?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: ,,,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: ,,,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: well, not in this house at least. i wouldn’t
want to be alone here either. it’s not a very nice place to live,
is it?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I’m,,,, uh,,,, not sure i understand your
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I’m,,,, uh,,,, not sure i understand your
meaning, uncle john.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: here, come with me.</p>
</div>
@ -459,10 +459,10 @@
begins dragging him around a corner, from one featureless white
hallway into another.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: This isn’t the right way,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: This isn’t the right way,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i know. hey tavros, why don’t we just go to
your room for a minute?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Oh,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Oh,,,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Tavros tugs on John’s hand and leads him back
a few steps. With his free hand, he pushes a door open, revealing a
@ -480,22 +480,22 @@
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="john">JOHN: tavros...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: is everything ok?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: ,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Yes, uncle john,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Why do you ask?</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: ,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Yes, uncle john,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Why do you ask?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: you just seem...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t know.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: sad?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I feel okay,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: It is a happy day, after all,,, it’s
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I feel okay,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: It is a happy day, after all,,, it’s
harry anderson’s birthday,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: There is good reason to be happy,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: There is good reason to be happy,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: but what about YOU.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: are you ACTUALLY happy about it?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: about... everything going on here?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I suppose,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: My mother tends to get displeased when
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I suppose,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: My mother tends to get displeased when
i’m unhappy, so,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: sigh.</p>
</div>
@ -510,19 +510,19 @@
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="john">JOHN: tavros... does gamzee ever come into your
room?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Possibly,,,?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: He so often is found to be in,,, so many
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Possibly,,,?</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: He so often is found to be in,,, so many
places,,,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">John glances under the bed, then sees it. A
half-finished bottle of Faygo.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="john">JOHN: isn’t that his faygo there??</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Oh,,, my, no,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Please, uncle john,,, don’t tell my
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Oh,,, my, no,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Please, uncle john,,, don’t tell my
mother,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: tell her what??</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: The faygo is mine,,, my uncle gives it to
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: The faygo is mine,,, my uncle gives it to
me sometimes,,, my mother strictly forbids it, of course,,,,,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">John nervously ponders this response, and
@ -537,13 +537,13 @@
<p class="no-indent">Tavros seems taken aback by the question. Then
appears thoughtful.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Oh,,, uh,,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: No??</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: But, yes,,, i can gather how you might
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Oh,,, uh,,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: No??</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: But, yes,,, i can gather how you might
draw that conclusion,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: you can?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: why?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: It just seems like a thing that would
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: It just seems like a thing that would
eventually happen to me, does it not?</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">A look of sadness washes over John’s face. A
@ -551,40 +551,40 @@
two funerals he’s attended.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="john">JOHN: what would make you say that?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Well, i think,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: For the same reason that led you yourself
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Well, i think,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: For the same reason that led you yourself
to wonder, uncle john?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: He is a very,,, very bad clown uncle,,,
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: He is a very,,, very bad clown uncle,,,
but i think i am not allowed to say or think such a thing,,,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: why not?</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Because,,, uncle gamzee has undertaken
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Because,,, uncle gamzee has undertaken
his redemption arc,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: With a spirit of great sincerity, i’ve
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: With a spirit of great sincerity, i’ve
been told,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: So,,,,, the truth is, no matter how i may
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: So,,,,, the truth is, no matter how i may
feel about him,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Mother tells me that he is not actually
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Mother tells me that he is not actually
bad,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: And therefore,,, anything he does cannot
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: And therefore,,, anything he does cannot
truly be considered bad either,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Otherwise, we are not respecting his
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Otherwise, we are not respecting his
repentance,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Or the others he has saved,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Or the others he has saved,,,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Tavros sighs again. John makes no effort to
disguise his look of grave disapproval and sorrow.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I don’t want you to worry,,, too much,
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I don’t want you to worry,,, too much,
though,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: His occasional sojourns in my room are
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: His occasional sojourns in my room are
not of any especially ill intent,,, i don’t think,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: He has told me in confidence that his
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: He has told me in confidence that his
intention is to train me,,,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: TRAIN you???</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Yes,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: In matters of combat,,, philosophy,,,
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Yes,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: In matters of combat,,, philosophy,,,
life,,, love,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I suppose to behave the way a mentor
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I suppose to behave the way a mentor
does, as he sees it,,,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Anger wells up in John anew. He gets to his
@ -596,13 +596,13 @@
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="john">JOHN: that’s IT!!!!!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: tavros, start packing right now.</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Packing,,,?</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Packing,,,?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah. one bag with some of your clothes, your
favorite toys and books, that kind of thing.</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I don’t understand,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I don’t understand,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: tavros. i have to get you out of here.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: *NOW*.</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Uh,,, what?</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Uh,,, what?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i’m going to take you away so that you can
live with me, harry anderson, and your aunt roxy.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: you wouldn’t have to live here anymore. no
@ -610,13 +610,13 @@
<p class="john">JOHN: no more weird troll maids, or listening to
your parents fight...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: and no more “uncle” fucking GAMZEE.</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: That does sound jolly good uncle
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: That does sound jolly good uncle
john,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: then what are you waiting for? start
packing!</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Well,,, i would, except that we can’t go
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Well,,, i would, except that we can’t go
out without tripping the security,,,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Mother has taken great precautions to
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Mother has taken great precautions to
make sure i never,,,,,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: don’t worry, kid. i came prepared.</p>
</div>
@ -705,7 +705,7 @@
<p class="jade">JADE: i know...</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: but all youre going to do by kidnapping him
is piss everyone off</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Excuse me dearest aunt but,,, is it
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Excuse me dearest aunt but,,, is it
kidnapping if i badly would like to go?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: see!</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: siiiiiigh</p>
@ -749,11 +749,11 @@
<p class="john">JOHN: i’m the only one who ever seems to realize
that something...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: that something’s WRONG!</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I would really be chuffed if the two of
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I would really be chuffed if the two of
you,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: even you, jade!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: you’re not listening to me right now!</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: ,,,would stop quarreling and listen to me
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: ,,,would stop quarreling and listen to me
for a spell,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: that’s why karkat left!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: because you didn’t listen to him!</p>
@ -803,7 +803,7 @@
<p class="jade">JADE: well!!!</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: i can certainly say the same for you right
now!!!!!</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Aunt jade,,, uncle john,,, you should
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Aunt jade,,, uncle john,,, you should
really, uh,,,,,,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">John and Jade stop. There is another shadow
@ -814,7 +814,7 @@
<p class="no-indent">She says in a sugar-sweet voice.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="jane">JANE: But what the FUCK is going on in here?!</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Oh,,, no,,,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Oh,,, no,,,,,</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: jane!! haha!!!</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: we were just</p>
<p class="jane">JANE: Hollering at each other so loudly that

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@ -106,8 +106,8 @@
Crocker fumbles his grasp on a particularly hideous fanciful
harlequin. One of its pointy shoes snaps off.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: Cripes,,, sorry, uncle john,</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: I’ll replace it,,,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: Cripes,,, sorry, uncle john,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: I’ll replace it,,,</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: it’s fine. that’s actually just a piece of
garbage.</p>
</div>
@ -127,11 +127,11 @@
<p class="jake">JAKE: She had a certain way she liked me kipped out
and well, i didnt want to bring anything that belonged to her when
i left. Nothing she er, might miss.</p>
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: You took me,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: You took me,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Jake winces.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="gamzee">TAVROS: And,,, you took you,</p>
<p class="tavros-kid">TAVROS: And,,, you took you,</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Jake’s wince deepens.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">

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@ -102,10 +102,7 @@
wails in protest at his imminent narrative impotence. however,
there is nothing he can do as long as jade remains in this
trance.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk">Nah, I’m being chill as a cucumber about this, considering
you’re vagueblogging the shit out of my methodological approach to
storytelling right where I can see it. Which is to say, directly
into my fucking brain, apparently?</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-sm type-hs-small">Nah, I’m being chill as a cucumber about this, considering you’re vagueblogging the shit out of my methodological approach to storytelling right where I can see it. Which is to say, directly into my fucking brain, apparently?</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">calliope emerges from the
kitchen, carrying a bowl of cool water and a cloth. jade turns her
head to meet the sound of their footsteps.</p>
@ -150,37 +147,19 @@
reserve as a silent yet alert vessel for my cognizance. there are
other priorities i must attend to, cosmologically. the work is very
important. the prince must be kept at bay.</p>
<p>“The work?” Getting some pretty self-important vibes here. Like
maybe somebody needs to get over herself? I was just having a
little fun. Ever fucking hear of that, dead skull girl? Didn’t
think so. This all feels really heavy-handed suddenly. Like you’re
making a federal fucking issue out of what should be some light,
entertaining stuff. Just a bunch of loser adults, trying to be the
people they grew up to be, in the best ways they know how. But no,
I guess you know best. Being an impossibly ancient alien recluse
with virtually no exposure to human culture, emotion, or values.
Yeah, go ahead, just take over. Sounds fine.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-sm type-hs-small">“The work?” Getting some pretty self-important vibes here. Like maybe somebody needs to get over herself? I was just having a little fun. Ever fucking hear of that, dead skull girl? Didn’t think so. This all feels really heavy-handed suddenly. Like you’re making a federal fucking issue out of what should be some light, entertaining stuff. Just a bunch of loser adults, trying to be the people they grew up to be, in the best ways they know how. But no, I guess you know best. Being an impossibly ancient alien recluse with virtually no exposure to human culture, emotion, or values. Yeah, go ahead, just take over. Sounds fine. </span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">the prince finds that his hold
on the narrative is slipping through his hands. there is an old
myth in earth culture about katanas, that if you keep the blade
whetted to a mirror sheen, it can cut a silk scarf falling through
the air cleanly in two. his hold over our perceptions shall be
severed just as elegantly.</p>
<p>Yo, I get that you’re attempting to spin a metaphor both
relevant and specific to my self-made symbology here, and I
appreciate the effort. I really do. But I just cannot stand by and
let you shamelessly spread such irresponsible misinformation on a
subject so near and dear to my heart.</p>
<p>The katana is a cutting weapon. Inert, it’s harmless.
Deceptively so, you might even say. Most dangerous things appear
banal when inert, that’s just basic physics. It’s actually the
motion of the katana that makes—</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0 0 0"><span class="type-hs-small type-bs">Yo, I get that you’re attempting to spin a metaphor both relevant and specific to my self-made symbology here, and I appreciate the effort. I really do. But I just cannot stand by and let you shamelessly spread such irresponsible misinformation on a subject so near and dear to my heart.</span></p>
<p class="dirk" style="margin:0 0 15px 0"><span class="type-hs-small type-bs">The katana is a cutting weapon. Inert, it’s harmless. Deceptively so, you might even say. Most dangerous things appear banal when inert, that’s just basic physics. It’s actually the motion of the katana that makes—</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">roxy sets the cool cloth on
jade’s forehead, and frowns. they are worried and confused, but
determined to care for their friend.</p>
<p>Hey, I’m in the middle of turning your apocryphal metaphor into
something with substantive, allegorical weight here. I’d appreciate
it if you would—</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Hey, I’m in the middle of turning your apocryphal metaphor into something with substantive, allegorical weight here. I’d appreciate it if you would—</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">in his haste to manipulate the
events surrounding doomed jade’s ascent toward an outcome favorable
to himself, the prince has unwittingly revealed several glaring
@ -205,9 +184,7 @@
like i have. but unlike me, he is terrified by it. and i, unlike
him, understand all too well that the children left alone are those
who most despair at being ignored.</p>
<p>Fuck you. I fucking hate you. You’re fucking boring, your
narrative voice is a total fucking drag, and someday I’m going to
make you pay for this.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Fuck you. I fucking hate you. You’re fucking boring, your narrative voice is a total fucking drag, and someday I’m going to make you pay for this.</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">there. can you hear it? of
course you can’t.</p>
<p class="calliope-dead">but if even you could, it would sound like

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@ -296,16 +296,7 @@
favor right now? Do you have ANY case to make which does not
involve glowing accounts of my muscular bottom???</p>
</div>
<p>I know it seems like an objectively good thing from some pithy
moral standpoint to let everyone in this little drama Jane’s cooked
up make their “own decisions,” but trust me: Jake isn’t thinking
for himself any more than he was while being indirectly controlled.
Everything he’s thinking and feeling right now is merely reactive.
He’s like a mostly dead bug twitching around on the last of its
hemolymph after getting its head cut off. Under my guidance, he was
like an ant being influenced by the cordyceps fungus. You can’t
really call one of these “better” than the other, but at least the
latter is being directed toward some greater purpose.</p>
<span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">I know it seems like an objectively good thing from some pithy moral standpoint to let everyone in this little drama Jane’s cooked up make their “own decisions,” but trust me: Jake isn’t thinking for himself any more than he was while being indirectly controlled. Everything he’s thinking and feeling right now is merely reactive. He’s like a mostly dead bug twitching around on the last of its hemolymph after getting its head cut off. Under my guidance, he was like an ant being influenced by the cordyceps fungus. You can’t really call one of these “better” than the other, but at least the latter is being directed toward some greater purpose.</span>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">for a moment, jake thinks he
hears something. a miniscule voice, prattling along vaingloriously.
but he realizes it’s only a tiny insect buzzing about his ear. a

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@ -105,8 +105,7 @@
hand around his phone in order to hear roxy over the chatter of the
crowd. karkat shoots him a curious look, but dave waves at him in a
manner which signals to karkat that he should attempt to stall.</p>
<p>You want to keep shutting me down? Fine. But check THIS shit
out.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">You want to keep shutting me down? Fine. But check THIS shit out.</span></p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell
@ -200,15 +199,11 @@
be involved with the structures of power and governance in a world
they created, and in which they have been regarded as gods since
they first appeared.</p>
<p>Really? That’s what she thinks? Huh. Couldn’t for the life of me
read what was going on inside her head. But this is very
interesting, actually.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Really? That’s what she thinks? Huh. Couldn’t for the life of me read what was going on inside her head. But this is very interesting, actually.</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">their thoughts are of no concern
to you. also, the pronoun they use is “they.” try to respect
it.</p>
<p>How can I respect a fucking pronoun when nobody can even hear
me? How about we call a truce and end this petty feud. This is your
one and only chance to accept.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">How can I respect a fucking pronoun when nobody can even hear me? How about we call a truce and end this petty feud. This is your one and only chance to accept.</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">no.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: jakes on ur side then?</p>
@ -247,8 +242,7 @@
glaring intensely at nothing at all, roxy smiles at what they hear
from dave. the way he talks about karkat reminds roxy of the way
calliope looks when they call them beautiful.</p>
<p>Oh, so she really does think Calliope is beautiful? Like, she
wasn’t just saying that to be nice? Fascinating.</p>
<span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Oh, so she really does think Calliope is beautiful? Like, she wasn’t just saying that to be nice? Fascinating.</span>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">yes, is the resounding answer.
calliope <em>is</em> beautiful, roxy thinks. and furthermore, they
think they should be reminded of this fact every day.</p>
@ -310,8 +304,7 @@
regard. he thought he had it all figured out when he was sixteen.
and then again when he was eighteen. and then at twenty. and
now...</p>
<p>That’s because he needs me. He’s suffering without my guidance.
If only you’d stop being so cruel and let me help.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">That’s because he needs me. He’s suffering without my guidance. If only you’d stop being so cruel and let me help.</span></p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="dave">DAVE: anyway uh</p>
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all
@ -439,12 +432,7 @@
in with the person he likes most in the world. he believes he could
spend forever with him, in any configuration, any type of
relationship, under any conditions of confusion or clarity.</p>
<p>What would the point of that be? Endless floundering incel
limbo? Christ. I’d put them both out of their misery before I let
that happen. I need to get back in action. This is a fucking
crisis. Do you have any idea what sort of atrocity you’re enabling
by allowing this to continue? I’ve been called many things. But
even my harshest critics would never accuse me of such cruelty.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">What would the point of that be? Endless floundering incel limbo? Christ. I’d put them both out of their misery before I let that happen. I need to get back in action. This is a fucking crisis. Do you have any idea what sort of atrocity you’re enabling by allowing this to continue? I’ve been called many things. But even my harshest critics would never accuse me of such cruelty.</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">for roxy, it is more
complicated. the conversation has unearthed more questions than
answers. they run a hand through their hair. it’s cut short, but
@ -454,12 +442,7 @@
altogether. what about length and functionality implies gender or
sex on a world where such oppositional hierarchies don’t exist, and
presentation is culturally vestigial?</p>
<p>Dear God. Can we not do this? I can’t sit through any more
gender chat. It feels inappropriate. Horrendously invasive of
Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts. Can we just leave her inner
monologue the fuck alone when it comes to this stuff? Is NOTHING
sacred? I’m about to fucking flip. You can’t keep me down forever.
I’ve got a trick up my sleeve, you’ll see.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk" style="margin:15px 0"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Dear God. Can we not do this? I can’t sit through any more gender chat. It feels inappropriate. Horrendously invasive of Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts. Can we just leave her inner monologue the fuck alone when it comes to this stuff? Is NOTHING sacred? I’m about to fucking flip. You can’t keep me down forever. I’ve got a trick up my sleeve, you’ll see.</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">the prince’s tricks mean
nothing, and his barely detectable crumbs of impotent discourse
shall continue utterly unheeded.</p>
@ -778,14 +761,13 @@
each exhale.</p>
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Like the bitch she is.</p>
</div>
<p>it seems uncalled-for to insult her after this little stunt you
just pulled. what did she do that was wrong?</p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead"><span class="type-sm type-hs-small">it seems uncalled-for to insult her after this little stunt you just pulled. what did she do that was wrong?</span></p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little
quiet for some reason.</p>
<p class="dirk">DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.</p>
</div>
<p>this is not the last you’ll be hearing from me, prince.</p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead"><span class="type-hs-small type-bs">this is not the last you’ll be hearing from me, prince.</span></p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="dirk">DIRK: Aaand, nope.</p>
<p class="dirk">DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re

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@ -256,15 +256,8 @@
<p class="jade">JADE: the thing with dirk is...</p>
<p class="jade">JADE: is...</p>
</div>
<p>It’s happening. Roxy notices it right away, because she’s seen
it before. And now Kanaya sees it too. A distant look in her eyes
as she trails off. They get cloudy, turn gray, and then fill in
completely, as if jet-black ink were flooding the vitreous bodies
of her eyeballs. Jade isn’t here anymore.</p>
<p>And with that, I’ll be getting my hat and coat, so to speak. No
use lingering around here much longer. The cherub is already
beginning to drown me out. I can feel it. But this time, I’m
ready.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-sm type-hs-small">It’s happening. Roxy notices it right away, because she’s seen it before. And now Kanaya sees it too. A distant look in her eyes as she trails off. They get cloudy, turn gray, and then fill in completely, as if jet-black ink were flooding the vitreous bodies of her eyeballs. Jade isn’t here anymore.</span></p>
<p class="dirk"><span class="type-hs-small type-bs">And with that, I’ll be getting my hat and coat, so to speak. No use lingering around here much longer. The cherub is already beginning to drown me out. I can feel it. But this time, I’m ready.</span></p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Jade?</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: JADE???</p>
@ -275,20 +268,14 @@
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: THIS *GRIM CONDITION* OF SORTS</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!</p>
</div>
<p>She’s not going to tell you shit. Not for a good while anyway.
It’s up to the cherub to let go of her now. And I doubt she’ll do
that before I’m light-years away from this planet. She’ll keep
jamming my signal, and won’t dare risk stopping until she knows I’m
at a safe distance.</p>
<p>Kind of a catch-22, right, Kanaya? The one who’s “protecting”
you all from my influence is also blocking you from getting any
answers. Not that you’d even know what to do with them.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">She’s not going to tell you shit. Not for a good while anyway. It’s up to the cherub to let go of her now. And I doubt she’ll do that before I’m light-years away from this planet. She’ll keep jamming my signal, and won’t dare risk stopping until she knows I’m at a safe distance.</span></p>
<p class="dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Kind of a catch-22, right, Kanaya? The one who’s “protecting” you all from my influence is also blocking you from getting any answers. Not that you’d even know what to do with them.</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">they will know what to do, when
they are ready.</p>
<p>Ha ha. Sure. They’ll all just hop in a spaceship and go on a
wild goose chase trying to hunt me down. I know that already. It’s
really not rocket science. Except for the fact that it literally
is.</p>
is.</p><p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Ha ha. Sure. They’ll all just hop in a spaceship and go on a wild goose chase trying to hunt me down. I know that already. It’s really not rocket science. Except for the fact that it literally is.</span></p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: kanaya pls chill</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: ive seen this before</p>
@ -305,13 +292,10 @@
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: FUCK DIRK!!!!!</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!</p>
</div>
<p>She picks up the heart monitor and throws it out the hospital
window. Holy shit?</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">She picks up the heart monitor and throws it out the hospital window. Holy shit?</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she picks up the heart monitor,
and throws it out the hospital window.</p>
<p>Oh, yeah. I guess I don’t need to fucking do this anymore. Don’t
worry, I’ll bow out. Seems like you got this from here. Go nuts,
skull girl.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">Oh, yeah. I guess I don’t need to fucking do this anymore. Don’t worry, I’ll bow out. Seems like you got this from here. Go nuts, skull girl.</span></p>
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">the monitor smashes on the
pavement below, shattering into a thousand pieces. spectators
gather around, and look up. roxy is looking out the broken window
@ -321,8 +305,7 @@
with a sense of rage and pain unshrouded by the veil of the prince.
neither she nor her friends will have to worry about him anymore,
so long as they remain on this planet and under my protection.</p>
<p>But a bunch of them won’t remain, will they? They won’t be able
to help themselves. You know that.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">But a bunch of them won’t remain, will they? They won’t be able to help themselves. You know that.</span></p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...</p>
<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...</p>
@ -335,11 +318,7 @@
but i will not. my unwillingness to do so is what separates me from
him. and what corporeal life needs now is someone presiding over
them who is <em>nothing</em> like him at all.</p>
<p>That’s a nice line. I get why you’d want to dial up the drama,
making your grand reentrance and all. But the fact is, even if they
wanted to, even if you brain-fried them all to become your own
personal cherubic puppets and sent them on the warpath to come get
me, they’d still never catch me. You still don’t get it yet.</p>
<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">That’s a nice line. I get why you’d want to dial up the drama, making your grand reentrance and all. But the fact is, even if they wanted to, even if you brain-fried them all to become your own personal cherubic puppets and sent them on the warpath to come get me, they’d still never catch me. You still don’t get it yet.</span></p>
<p class="dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">I’m
already gone.</span></p>
</div>

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