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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 1</title>
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<h1>Chapter 1</h1>
<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
<p class="no-indent"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">C</span>andy was
definitely the right choice, John thinks, as he munches
thoughtfully on a strawberry swirl mint. It cracks to splinters
between his teeth. Incredibly tasty splinters, the consistency of
which have absolutely no existential baggage to them. The splinters
dissolve quickly, leaving behind the impression they were made of
nothing at all, but for a cloying essence determined to linger
behind. With some distance from his traumatic anime dreaming, the
fatalistic mood that hes been walking around with all day seems
somewhat... melodramatic. Embarrassing, even! Who has time for
nihilism when its such a beautiful day.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="john">JOHN: you know what?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: ...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: maybe ill stay after all.</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: r... rly?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah. now that ive had some time to think
about, is lord english really that big of a deal?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i mean, i know rose said it was a big
deal.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: that canon would... “dissipate,” if i didnt
go do it. whatever that means.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: isnt it just as likely that i could mess up
a whole bunch of stuff if i go back there?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: the idea of going back in time, or back into
canon, or whatever...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: and fighting this huge battle that serves
some vague purpose im not sure i even understand...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: it feels so... heavy?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: and im not feeling that heavy, suddenly. i
feel kind of the opposite, actually.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i feel like, maybe i just dont give a
shit?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i dont mean in a bad way, its just...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: well, im already HERE. living my life, with
my friends, and...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i think i just want to stay back on earth,
forget i ever heard of lord english, and just... relax?</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: is that selfish of me??</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: i dunno, just seems like a lot of
responsibility for one person.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: so maybe instead of taking the fate of
everyones existence into my own hands, i should just...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: stay here and try to enjoy life?</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Even John has to admit, his rationale doesnt
sound particularly satisfying. Now that hes reflecting on
everything he just said, it really strikes him as a bunch of
empty-headed babble. But then again, its like he was saying. His
head <em>does</em> feel lighter. Maybe he doesnt care if his
reasoning sucks? Maybe he just doesnt care about any of the high
stakes or existential gravity related to his conversation with
Rose. Maybe he doesnt care about much of anything, except the here
and now, the company of his friends, and the pleasant breeze
flowing through the park today. Hes feeling quite insubstantial,
when he thinks about it. Superficial. And a bit sappy toward his
friends. So what if he wants to make an insubstantial, superficial,
and sappy decision?</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: are you absolUtely sUre aboUt this,
john?</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">He looks up at the trees, at the sunlight
glittering through the crisscrossing fronds. Has the sky always
been that blue? A leaf spirals down lazily and lands on his
forehead. He plucks it off and studies the veins running through
it. At each fork in the veins, he supposes the leaf as a whole is
making a certain kind of “decision,” to go this way or that. It
certainly seems like one way of looking at a leaf, now that he
bothers to really scrutinize one. It also seems to him, with just
as great a sense of clarity, that not one of this leafs decisions
ever mattered even the tiniest fucking bit to anybody. Not to the
tree, not to the world, not even to the leaf itself. He flicks the
delicate green metaphor away with a flourish of disdain, and sudden
conviction.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah. actually, i dont think ive ever been
so sure of anything in my life.</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Roxys stoic countenance washes away abruptly
and she lets out a happy... <em>squeal</em>? No, thats kind of a
sexist way to describe it. Its definitely a girly noise, though,
and not what John was expecting. Without warning, she launches
herself into his arms.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: omg john</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: thats...</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: AMAZING!</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: im so stoked!!! :D</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">She buries her nose in the crook of his neck…
and starts crying. <em>Huh?</em> Shes definitely sniffing a
little, and his skin feels wet against hers. John makes incidental
eye contact with Calliope when he raises his arms to wrap them
around Roxys back. Hes startled for a moment, but Callies just
looking at him with that big, serene smile on her skull. So, okay,
this isnt weird or anything, this super-intimate physical
interaction hes having with her maybe-girlfriend right in front of
her. Its just that Roxys been so distant for years, and now John
has no idea where the boundaries are drawn.</p>
<p>He grins and hugs her back just as hard as shes hugging him.
Maybe his friendships arent as damaged as hed worried. Maybe its
like his friends were his actual family this whole time, and they
were just waiting for him to pick up the phone, or to come along
and hug them.</p>
<p>Roxy pulls back and claps excitedly.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="roxy">ROXY: this is gonna be so effing AWESOME</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: yes. i think that yoU have made an
excellent choice, john!</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: i can already feel the aUra of
eqUivocation thats been hanging over Us all these years
fading!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: equivocation?</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: oh, sorry!</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: what i mean is that i think weve all
had a hard time moving on from what we experienced in oUr old
Universes.</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: now we finally can pUt that Ugliness
behind Us.</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: oh, john, this is amazing! i have
sUch big plans for yoU!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: uh...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: plans?</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: stop asking so many questions dummy</p>
<p class="roxy">ROXY: its gonna be great</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: it will be more than great.</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: bUt first there is one last thing yoU
mUst do with your retcon powers. someone that yoU need to help.</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: someone that *only* yoU can help.</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Calliope leans in close. The angle of the sun
makes it so that she dips into shadow. The sharp recesses of her
skeletal face turn those shadows black. For a moment, her voice
sounds the way wind does when it howls through a narrow chasm.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: yoU mUst free the bard from his
prison.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: ???</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Did he hear her right? He cant imagine she
could <em>possibly</em> mean...</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: gamzee.</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">Calliope puts her hands together and pulls
back, smiling sweetly. Her voice is sugar-sweet again.</p>
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: let poor gamzee oUt of the fridge,
john.</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: the time has come. u_u</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: poor... GAMZEE??</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: hes sUrely learned his lesson by
now.</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: if we are to tUrn over a new page in
this story, we shoUld tUrn that page for everyone.</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: gamzee mUst begin seeking redemption
immediately. he has sUffered enoUgh!</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: HAS he, though?</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: oh my yes. absolUtely.</p>
<p class="john">JOHN: are you sure?</p>
<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: of coUrse!</p>
</div>
<p class="no-indent">John glances at Roxy, seeking support. She
smiles at him benignly, apparently having no opinion whatsoever on
this topic.</p>
<p>Sure. Okay. He cant help but make a disgusted face at the
thought of it, but he shrugs. Why the hell not? Hes feeling
<em>lighter</em>, remember? If its time to let go of his long-held
worries and hangups, then so too it may be time to let loose a
long-suffering clown. If this is to be the Age of Redemption, then
let it begin, he decides. Not with a bang, but a honk.</p>
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