2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 1</title>
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<h1>Chapter 1</h1>
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2020-03-29 12:23:21 -05:00
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">C</span>andy was
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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definitely the right choice, John thinks, as he munches
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thoughtfully on a strawberry swirl mint. It cracks to splinters
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between his teeth. Incredibly tasty splinters, the consistency of
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which have absolutely no existential baggage to them. The splinters
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dissolve quickly, leaving behind the impression they were made of
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nothing at all, but for a cloying essence determined to linger
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behind. With some distance from his traumatic anime dreaming, the
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fatalistic mood that he’s been walking around with all day seems
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somewhat... melodramatic. Embarrassing, even! Who has time for
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nihilism when it’s such a beautiful day.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="john">JOHN: you know what?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: maybe i’ll stay after all.</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: r... rly?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah. now that i’ve had some time to think
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about, is lord english really that big of a deal?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i mean, i know rose said it was a big
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deal.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: that canon would... “dissipate,” if i didn’t
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go do it. whatever that means.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: isn’t it just as likely that i could mess up
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a whole bunch of stuff if i go back there?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: the idea of going back in time, or back into
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canon, or whatever...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: and fighting this huge battle that serves
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some vague purpose i’m not sure i even understand...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it feels so... heavy?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: and i’m not feeling that heavy, suddenly. i
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feel kind of the opposite, actually.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i feel like, maybe i just don’t give a
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shit?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t mean in a bad way, it’s just...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: well, i’m already HERE. living my life, with
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my friends, and...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think i just want to stay back on earth,
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forget i ever heard of lord english, and just... relax?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: is that selfish of me??</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i dunno, just seems like a lot of
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responsibility for one person.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: so maybe instead of taking the fate of
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everyone’s existence into my own hands, i should just...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: stay here and try to enjoy life?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Even John has to admit, his rationale doesn’t
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sound particularly satisfying. Now that he’s reflecting on
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everything he just said, it really strikes him as a bunch of
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empty-headed babble. But then again, it’s like he was saying. His
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head <em>does</em> feel lighter. Maybe he doesn’t care if his
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reasoning sucks? Maybe he just doesn’t care about any of the high
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stakes or existential gravity related to his conversation with
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Rose. Maybe he doesn’t care about much of anything, except the here
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and now, the company of his friends, and the pleasant breeze
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flowing through the park today. He’s feeling quite insubstantial,
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when he thinks about it. Superficial. And a bit sappy toward his
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friends. So what if he wants to make an insubstantial, superficial,
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and sappy decision?</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: are you absolUtely sUre aboUt this,
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john?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">He looks up at the trees, at the sunlight
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glittering through the crisscrossing fronds. Has the sky always
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been that blue? A leaf spirals down lazily and lands on his
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forehead. He plucks it off and studies the veins running through
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it. At each fork in the veins, he supposes the leaf as a whole is
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making a certain kind of “decision,” to go this way or that. It
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certainly seems like one way of looking at a leaf, now that he
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bothers to really scrutinize one. It also seems to him, with just
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as great a sense of clarity, that not one of this leaf’s decisions
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ever mattered even the tiniest fucking bit to anybody. Not to the
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tree, not to the world, not even to the leaf itself. He flicks the
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delicate green metaphor away with a flourish of disdain, and sudden
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conviction.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah. actually, i don’t think i’ve ever been
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so sure of anything in my life.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Roxy’s stoic countenance washes away abruptly
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and she lets out a happy... <em>squeal</em>? No, that’s kind of a
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sexist way to describe it. It’s definitely a girly noise, though,
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and not what John was expecting. Without warning, she launches
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herself into his arms.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: omg john</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: thats...</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: AMAZING!</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: im so stoked!!! :D</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">She buries her nose in the crook of his neck…
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and starts crying. <em>Huh?</em> She’s definitely sniffing a
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little, and his skin feels wet against hers. John makes incidental
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eye contact with Calliope when he raises his arms to wrap them
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around Roxy’s back. He’s startled for a moment, but Callie’s just
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looking at him with that big, serene smile on her skull. So, okay,
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this isn’t weird or anything, this super-intimate physical
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interaction he’s having with her maybe-girlfriend right in front of
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her. It’s just that Roxy’s been so distant for years, and now John
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has no idea where the boundaries are drawn.</p>
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<p>He grins and hugs her back just as hard as she’s hugging him.
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Maybe his friendships aren’t as damaged as he’d worried. Maybe it’s
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like his friends were his actual family this whole time, and they
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were just waiting for him to pick up the phone, or to come along
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and hug them.</p>
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<p>Roxy pulls back and claps excitedly.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: this is gonna be so effing AWESOME</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: yes. i think that yoU have made an
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excellent choice, john!</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: i can already feel the aUra of
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eqUivocation that’s been hanging over Us all these years
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fading!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: equivocation?</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: oh, sorry!</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: what i mean is that i think we’ve all
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had a hard time moving on from what we experienced in oUr old
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Universes.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: now we finally can pUt that Ugliness
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behind Us.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: oh, john, this is amazing! i have
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sUch big plans for yoU!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: uh...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: plans?</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: stop asking so many questions dummy</p>
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<p class="roxy">ROXY: its gonna be great</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: it will be more than great.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: bUt first there is one last thing yoU
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mUst do with your retcon powers. someone that yoU need to help.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: someone that *only* yoU can help.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Calliope leans in close. The angle of the sun
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makes it so that she dips into shadow. The sharp recesses of her
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skeletal face turn those shadows black. For a moment, her voice
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sounds the way wind does when it howls through a narrow chasm.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: yoU mUst free the bard from his
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prison.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ???</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Did he hear her right? He can’t imagine she
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could <em>possibly</em> mean...</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-10-28 03:27:28 -05:00
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: gamzee.</p>
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</div>
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="no-indent">Calliope puts her hands together and pulls
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back, smiling sweetly. Her voice is sugar-sweet again.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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2019-09-28 00:26:39 -05:00
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: let poor gamzee oUt of the fridge,
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john.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: the time has come. u_u</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: poor... GAMZEE??</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: he’s sUrely learned his lesson by
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now.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: if we are to tUrn over a new page in
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this story, we shoUld tUrn that page for everyone.</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: gamzee mUst begin seeking redemption
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immediately. he has sUffered enoUgh!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: HAS he, though?</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: oh my yes. absolUtely.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: are you sure?</p>
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<p class="calliope">CALLIOPE: of coUrse!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">John glances at Roxy, seeking support. She
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smiles at him benignly, apparently having no opinion whatsoever on
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this topic.</p>
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<p>Sure. Okay. He can’t help but make a disgusted face at the
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thought of it, but he shrugs. Why the hell not? He’s feeling
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<em>lighter</em>, remember? If it’s time to let go of his long-held
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worries and hangups, then so too it may be time to let loose a
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long-suffering clown. If this is to be the Age of Redemption, then
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let it begin, he decides. Not with a bang, but a honk.</p>
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</div>
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