406 lines
21 KiB
HTML
406 lines
21 KiB
HTML
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
|
||
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN"
|
||
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml11/DTD/xhtml11.dtd">
|
||
|
||
<html xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>
|
||
<head profile='http://dublincore.org/documents/dcmi-terms/'>
|
||
<meta http-equiv='Content-Type' content='text/html;'/>
|
||
<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 11</title>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.title' content='The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy'/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.language' content='en' scheme='DCTERMS.RFC4646'/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.source' content='MFW'/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.issued' content='{$issued}' scheme='DCTERMS.W3CDTF'/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.creator' content='EpubPress'/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.contributor' content=''/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.modified' content='{$issued}' scheme='DCTERMS.W3CDTF'/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.provenance' content=''/>
|
||
<meta name='DCTERMS.subject' content='Unknown'/>
|
||
<link rel='schema.DC' href='http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/' hreflang='en'/>
|
||
<link rel='schema.DCTERMS' href='http://purl.org/dc/terms/' hreflang='en'/>
|
||
<link rel='schema.DCTYPE' href='http://purl.org/dc/dcmitype/' hreflang='en'/>
|
||
<link rel='schema.DCAM' href='http://purl.org/dc/dcam/' hreflang='en'/>
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' type='text/css' href='../Styles/ebook.css'/>
|
||
</head>
|
||
<body>
|
||
<div id='s11'></div>
|
||
<div>
|
||
<h1>Chapter 11</h1>
|
||
<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
|
||
<p class="no-indent"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">D</span>ave grabs
|
||
the sleeve of John’s tux in his sweaty palm, and the two of them
|
||
fly to the top of the nearest tower. John glances at him en route,
|
||
and the look on Dave’s face strikes him as that of a man condemned
|
||
to death.</p>
|
||
<p>The stars stand out along the skyline, so bright in this new
|
||
world that the outline of every constellation is crisp and clear,
|
||
even in the middle of the city.</p>
|
||
<p>Dave cups his hands over his knees and stares straight
|
||
ahead.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: yo john what do you think about me and
|
||
karkat</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you two are pretty cute together, i
|
||
guess?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: together</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i need you to be way more specific here</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh, ok.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: hmm. i guess i’d have to say that you’re both
|
||
cute individually when you’re with each other, and you make cute
|
||
friends, which is why you’re cute together. something about it just
|
||
works!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i feel like i’m saying cute a lot here.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: for the record, i don’t mean you’re cute as
|
||
an individual. no offense.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: alone, you’re just dave.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: but together, yeah. you guys are cute.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: together</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: you mean</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: like a couple</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave says this so neutrally that John has no
|
||
idea how to read it, despite having years of practice reading
|
||
Dave’s many neutral tones.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: er... yes.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: that’s exactly what i mean.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: why</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: didn’t i just explain it? good friends make
|
||
good partners!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you’re similar in all the right ways, and
|
||
different in all the even more right ways.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you two balance each other out and keep each
|
||
other from going off the rails, like when you were kids.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: huh</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you were both kinda... crazy when we were
|
||
kids? again, no offense.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats not what i was saying huh about</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i was saying huh because that sure was a
|
||
coherent egbertian thesis on the state of the davekat situation</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: well, i’ve thought about it that way for a
|
||
long time. i think it’s what everyone else thinks too.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i dont know</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: if id been thinking about it that way i
|
||
wouldnt be in the mess im in right now</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you’re in a mess?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: theres a metric fucking ton of shit about to
|
||
come down on me because i dragged my heels on doing some serious
|
||
self reflection</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: is this just some more stuff about...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: being gay?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: maybe yeah</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ok definitely yeah</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: its 110% about being gay</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i thought you’d already worked all that stuff
|
||
out?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: turns out it takes a long time to figure out
|
||
your sexuality after a childhood filled with repression and
|
||
abuse</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: dave...</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i mean yeah i woke the hell up to my inner
|
||
potential for gayness in a big way</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: but then i just kind of pressed the snooze
|
||
button and rolled back over because we kinda had to fight all those
|
||
jacks and also create society</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: holy fucking shit.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: there’s a gay snooze button?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah man theres a gay snooze button</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: wow.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: when i was having my gay coolboy awakening it
|
||
wasnt a full no homo but it was at least a quarter no homo</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: if i hadnt done that then instead of talking
|
||
to you about this id be at home right now</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: uh</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: kissing karkat probably</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t get this dave. am i your gay
|
||
confessor or something?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you don’t need my blessing to go kiss karkat.
|
||
in fact, i was pretty sure you were already kissing karkat!</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: nope</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: in that case, as the lord pope of dave’s
|
||
fully awakened gaydom i give you my blessing to immediately leave
|
||
and rectify that as soon as possible!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: go now my child, and kiss karkat right on the
|
||
lips!!!</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ok as much as i appreciate how weird a thing
|
||
that was to say</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: its not that simple</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i might not exactly be the expert, but
|
||
kissing seems pretty easy, dave.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i’m sure it gets more complicated in the
|
||
later stages obviously, but i think you can figure out how to get
|
||
your lips on his without much trouble.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: no i mean like</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave makes a couple truly useless hand
|
||
gestures.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: in the greater fabric of our weird incestuous
|
||
social group</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: it might be the wrong move i think</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: how so?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: because</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ...</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: jade</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">John bites his lip. Oh boy. That’s a
|
||
complicated problem all right. He loves his sister, but she’s
|
||
developed a bad habit of sometimes approaching delicate social
|
||
situations with all the grace of an elephant stumbling around in a
|
||
dark room.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: right.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i almost managed to forget that she was
|
||
trying to fuck you and karkat.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave snaps his head around to stare at John in
|
||
shock.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: wait you knew about that</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: uh, yeah?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: did you not?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: of course i knew about it</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i was lookin at the whole thing through
|
||
several complicated layers of conscious denial but i knew</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: its just that you like</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: never leave your house</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: well it probably helps that jade literally
|
||
said the words to me... and i may be paraphrasing here, but...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: “hey john, i’m gonna fuck dave and
|
||
karkat!”</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: wtf she said that to you</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: what did you say</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i dunno, it was a while ago. probably that it
|
||
was a bad idea.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: but i thought it was kinda obvious... she’s
|
||
always had a crush on you, dave.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah i know</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">He sighs and hangs his head, leaning forward
|
||
with his elbows crossed over his thighs. The angle he’s at gives
|
||
John a good look at his eyes, which are boring a deep, miserable
|
||
hole to the center of the Earth right now.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats why i think that i should</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: give it a try i guess</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: give what a try? dating jade?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: and karkat</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh man, dave. i don’t know. that sounds like
|
||
it could really blow up in your face.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: yeah thats why im kinda freaking out right
|
||
now if you didnt notice</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: sorry dude it’s just... do you even like
|
||
jade?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: of course i do shes one of my best
|
||
friends</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: no i meant... do you LIKE-like her?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: oh my god john youre twenty three years old
|
||
can you at least pretend to talk like a grown man</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ok dave, god!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: are you IN LOVE with jade?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave doesn’t answer. His silence says a lot,
|
||
John thinks.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ...are you in love with karkat?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats a big fucking question</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: thats the biggest fucking question that ever
|
||
got asked</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: its like the paleolithic megafauna of
|
||
questions like its so familiar but your eyes just glaze over it in
|
||
denial because its too fucking big</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: why did megalodon sharks need to have such
|
||
big jaws john</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: uh... to eat smaller sharks?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ive never been so fucking terrified by a
|
||
question in my entire life</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: seriously my heart is pounding so hard right
|
||
now that i feel like im gonna hurl</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: well, doesn’t that answer the question?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: nah because</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: because its not like i feel nothing for
|
||
jade</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: in fact i feel a whole lot of things for
|
||
her</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: too many to just tell her off after all this
|
||
time</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i mean she spent all those years alone on the
|
||
ship and i know she missed me</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: and then davesprite died</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: or turned into fucking davepeta i was never
|
||
clear exactly on what happened there</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: and god knows he didnt make any attempt to
|
||
clear the fucking air with her</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: but when i think about it neither did i</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: so maybe im just a huge asshole whos been
|
||
leading her on for like a whole goddamn decade at this point</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: and if i have been dont i owe it to her to at
|
||
least try</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: if that’s your logic dave, then haven’t you
|
||
been leading karkat on too?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: doesn’t he deserve the same chance?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i mean, if you think it’s the kind of
|
||
decision you can lay on another person like this...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: why don’t you just flip a coin?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ...</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">He tilts his face so that he can give John a
|
||
look. The corner of his lip quirks ambiguously.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: have you been talking to terezi</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um...</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: damn i thought she ghosted everyone</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: not me... i guess?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: huh</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: anyway</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i know you thought that sounded like a
|
||
totally cool thing to say but i dont really think you grasp the
|
||
full metaphysical implications of whatever youre quoting there</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave sits up and leans back on his palms, his
|
||
voice sounding lighter in a subtle, almost ephemeral way now that
|
||
the subject’s changed to something as easy as metaphysics. He
|
||
catches John’s gaze and makes a rolling gesture with his hand,
|
||
miming the way a practiced magician would flick a coin over their
|
||
thumb.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: do you know what a coin flip is</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: like universally i mean in the grand scale of
|
||
all this time space infinite string theory bullshit were always
|
||
dealing with</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: of course!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: it’s like when you know that you’ve already
|
||
made a decision you’re reluctant about, and need an outside force
|
||
to show you how you really feel?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: no dude thats dumb</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: you should know this cause youve done the
|
||
retcon thing</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what does that have to do with flipping
|
||
coins?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ok so every time you flip a coin youre
|
||
creating an alternate timeline right</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: one where it lands heads and one where it
|
||
lands tails</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: but while the coin is flipping both
|
||
possibilities exist simultaneously</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: but what if you knew for sure that you’d make
|
||
the same decision no matter which side landed up?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: you cant</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: so... it’s like the coin never lands
|
||
then?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: sure</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: then if you dated *both* jade and karkat it’d
|
||
be like you’re winning the schrodinger’s cat paradox.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: uh yeah thats another theoretical paradox
|
||
that i think you gotta read up on a bit more there buddy</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i probably won’t, but ok.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: fair enough</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: but yes metaphysics aside me dating both jade
|
||
and karkat at the same time literally is the issue at hand and it
|
||
is that with which i currently and explicitly struggle</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: sure seems that way.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: so...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i dunno, dave.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: this all just... it doesn’t sound *right* to
|
||
me.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">John thinks about the speech Rose gave him
|
||
that morning on her couch, about canon veracity and the validity or
|
||
nonvalidity of subjective actions the further they get away from
|
||
the “intended” sequence of events. Something about... pillars? What
|
||
is essential, true, and relevant. He remembers those three words,
|
||
but no other contextual remarks which bind them. That conversation
|
||
seems so very long ago now.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i mean... it doesn’t sound...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: *canon*?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ugh not you too</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: rose is always going on about canon</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i dont give a fuck about canon</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: then what DO you give a fuck about?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave sighs and runs a hand through his
|
||
hair.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: doing the right thing</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i guess</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: this doesn’t seem hard to me at all,
|
||
dave!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: go home right now and tell karkat how you
|
||
feel.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: look i</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i cant</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: if i did that it would be like</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: like</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: like what, dave? like you would be really
|
||
happy, and karkat would also be really happy?</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: ugh im not explaining myself right i need
|
||
to</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave staggers uneasily to his feet, staring
|
||
way past John like he’s looking into the infinity of his own soul
|
||
right now. John’s never seen him so scared, and it’s over what
|
||
seems like a pretty easy choice as far as John’s concerned. It sure
|
||
isn’t easy for him, though. John guesses this is what it means to
|
||
be a friend. It means being the guy who understands when easy isn’t
|
||
actually that easy.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: i have to... talk to dirk i think</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: uh, ok?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">John wonders when talking to Dirk has fixed
|
||
anything for anyone.</p>
|
||
<p>He’s about to ask what exactly it is he needs to talk to Dirk
|
||
about, but then remembers what he saw when he went back to fetch
|
||
Gamzee’s fridge in the Medium: Dirk and Dave hugging on the edge of
|
||
the roof, sharing something private and mysterious, the sort of
|
||
thing that can only happen between two people whose personalities
|
||
are cracked in the same way. It’s not something John’s ever had, so
|
||
it’s not something he can understand. An uncomfortable silence
|
||
lingers between the two of them. Before John can fill it with some
|
||
stupid words, he hears Roxy calling up to him from below. He pops
|
||
his head over the roof and waves at her.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what’s up?</p>
|
||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: yo boys not to interrupt but we got kicked
|
||
outta the restaurant for not ordering</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what? really?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what’s even the point of being famous if that
|
||
can happen?</p>
|
||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: lmao i know right</p>
|
||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: told u i wasnt classy enough for the
|
||
joint</p>
|
||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: i got all these breadsticks tho so we can
|
||
reconvene in the park</p>
|
||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: totes romantic</p>
|
||
<p class="roxy">ROXY: ten minutes, what u say</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: uh, sounds good! i’ll see you there soon!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">She grins up at John with shimmering, adoring
|
||
eyes. They’re reflecting every star in the sky, all for him. It
|
||
makes his heart do a weird somersault. It tries to flip frontways,
|
||
then backwards, and ends up landing on its face instead. He’s
|
||
feeling too many contradictory things right now. When he turns to
|
||
look at Dave again, he’s practically translucent. Barely there,
|
||
half out the door emotionally. John feels like he could have done
|
||
more, like this whole conversation was sand running through his
|
||
fingers. It itches at the back of his head, the idea that he might
|
||
have just fucked up Dave’s entire life.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i’m... sorry i couldn’t help.</p>
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: nah dude its not your fault</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent">Dave gives him a light bro-punch in the arm
|
||
and tries to smile.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="dave">DAVE: enjoy your date</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</body>
|
||
</html> |