236 lines
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236 lines
13 KiB
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy - Chapter 4</title>
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<div id='s4'></div>
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<div>
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<h1>Chapter 4</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">R</span>ose’s eyes
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flutter open to the sound of a heart monitor and the sight of a
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featureless white ceiling. Fluorescent lights, diaphanous curtains,
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everything crisp and clean.</p>
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<p>A hospital?</p>
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<p>Wait, this doesn’t seem right, she thinks. When she closed her
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eyes, she was dramatically lingering about her bedroom at home.
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She’d just taken a handful of pills, and said goodbye to...</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: John!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">She shoots up in bed, tugging the IV taped
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under her elbow. Kanaya is sitting at her bedside, hemming a
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sundress. She thins her lips and gives Rose a half-lidded look.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: “John”</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I See</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Is There Something I Should Know</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">This is the sort of joke that would have gone
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over better if it had not been made at this exact moment. With all
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the distance between them lately, Kanaya’s jab lands like a rock
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plunging into a stagnant pond.</p>
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<p>Instinctively, Rose raises her hand to her forehead, but there’s
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no pain there. Her head is the clearest it’s been in months.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Kanaya, what...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: What happened?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Kanaya throws her sewing project aside and
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sweeps in close, wrapping a cool palm around Rose’s arm. Her voice
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quakes but retains most of its porcelain decorum.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Came Home And Found You Passed Out In
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Front Of The Load Gaper</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Your Skin Was Freezing And You Were
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Barely Breathing</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Oh.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: The Doctor Said That Your Heart Rate
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Dropped Below Thirty Beats Per Minute</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Which As I Understand It Is Somewhat
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Dire</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I see.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: How Are You Feeling</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Rose considers this for a very long time, eyes
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fixed on the window at the other end of the room. The night is
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dying behind the thin, pale curtain. She can barely see the
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moon.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I feel...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">She looks back to Kanaya, eyes wide and
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bright.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Kanaya, I feel... fine.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">It’s been such a long time since she’s felt
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anywhere in the same ballpark as “fine” that it’s almost an
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out-of-body experience to say the word. She feels giddy.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: No Headaches</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: No headaches, no visions. Nothing at all.
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I...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Wait.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Is John ok?</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Where is he? Did he leave?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Leave</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Oh No Johns Fine</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: He Didnt Go Anywhere</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Except I Suppose To Leave His House For
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Once</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Multiple Days In A Row Even</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Rose shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath.
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For some reason, she’s never felt so relieved in her life. She
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thinks about what she was about to send John off to do, and her
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feelings of grim urgency surrounding the matter. And yet, for the
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life of her, she can’t bring herself to care about whatever it was
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she felt was so direly important about his decision. All that
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matters to her now is that he’s safe, in good health, and spending
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time with those he cares about. And apparently, due to a perfectly
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inexplicable turn of events, so is she.</p>
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<p>The door to the room creaks open, and in slips a smiling
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carapacian in blue scrubs. Rose listens to Kanaya ask fretful
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questions about her condition. The nurse responds by tapping her
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clipboard in a musical rhythm.</p>
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<p>Rose opens her eyes. She stares at the knob of her wrist and
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frowns. She’s not sure why this sensation should be concerning.
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It’s not like her memory is slipping away. She remembers the
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conversation she had with John this morning quite clearly. As she
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does the previous years of declining health, and troubled,
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obsessive thoughts about canon, dissipation, and other such
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abstractions. What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any
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of it mattered at all. Was she insane to be so consumed by such
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lofty concerns, and is she only beginning to experience clarity
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today, for the first time in ages?</p>
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<p>When the nurse leaves, Kanaya puts a hand over the wrist that
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she is so preoccupied with.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Is Something Wrong</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: It just seems like all of this is happening
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so quickly.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Even... abruptly.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Oh Im Sorry Would You Prefer For Your
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Consciousness To Continue To Disintegrate</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Don’t be ridiculous, Kanaya.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: What I would prefer...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: ...is to be here, with you.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: <em>Really</em> here with you.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: For the first time in a long time.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Kanaya tips her face away from the light to
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hide it in the curve of her shoulder. Rose reaches out and takes
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her wife’s hands in her own. They’re colder than she remembers.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Are you crying?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Since When Have I Been Known To Cry</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Quite often, actually. But usually because
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you’re angry.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Well</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Im Not Angry</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: It was hard on you, wasn’t it?</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: My illness? Combined with all your duties to
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the Mother Grub, the pressures of the changing political
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situation...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: With all that on your mind, it can’t have
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been pleasant to have to come home and take care of me as well.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I can see now that it was all terribly unfair
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to you.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: It Was Nobodys Fault Rose So Please Dont
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Take Any Undue Responsibility Onto Your Shoulders</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Since when have I been known to do such a
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thing?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Kanaya’s lips twitch into a smile and she
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laughs, sadly. Her laughter forces the tears out. They drip down
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her perfectly made-up face in thick trails.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Really Did Think I Had Lost You</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its Not That I Thought You Would Die</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: It Was That You Felt So Far Away</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: What You Were Going Through Was Something
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That I Could Not Possibly Understand No Matter How Patient I Was Or
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How Deeply I Loved You</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: There Was A Feeling I Couldnt Shake That
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Something Terrible Was Going To Happen To Us</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Something That Neither Of Us Could
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Stop</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: A Powerful Outside Force That Would Take
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You Away From Me</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And I Couldnt Stop Myself From Thinking
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That Maybe</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Maybe That It Would Be For The Best</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Kanaya...</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Can Now See That This Is Completely
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Ridiculous</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Kanaya laughs again. Gaily this time, as if
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some terrible, dark weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She
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lets out a thin, shaky breath afterward. It’s like the noise fills
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the room back up with oxygen. Rose hadn’t realized that she’d held
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her breath at all; the shadow hanging over Kanaya’s thoughts was
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hanging over hers as well. But now that she’s said it aloud, the
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darkness dissipates without ever materializing into its true
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shape.</p>
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<p>Rose uses the hem of her hospital gown to wipe the tears off
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Kanaya’s face.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: It really is. Honestly, Kanaya, I’ve never
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heard such a ridiculous thing in my life.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You Are Talking To Me As If I Am A Pupa
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Again</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I’m sorry.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: No Do Not Apologize It Has Been A Very
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Long Time Since Youve Had The Energy To Use Such A Condescending
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Tone Of Voice</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And As You Know Its One Of The Things
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About You I Find Most Adorable</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I can imagine how adorable I’ve been,
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drifting around the house like a sweaty, drugged-up ghost.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: While You Know How I Feel About The
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Careless Imbibing Of Human Intoxicants</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You Were Still Very Adorable</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Not To Be Trite But There Is Nothing That
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Could Make You Not Beautiful To Me</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: What a relief, considering that we are both
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going to be young and magically fit literally forever.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">Kanaya presses a snotty, uncharacteristically
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imperfect kiss to the back of Rose’s hand, right beneath where she
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wears her wedding ring.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: If You Would Have Me Forever</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Who else?</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: There’s no one who understands me like you,
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Kanaya. No one who looks at me the way you do. No one who brings me
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back down to earth with ceaseless, brutal honestly like you.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I have no idea what’d I’d do without you.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: You Would Probably Do Just Fine</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Yes, but I’d be very unhappy.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent">They smile at each other as the first rays of
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the sunrise peek through the blinds.</p>
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</div>
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</div>
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</body>
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