389 lines
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389 lines
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat - Chapter 28</title>
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<h1>Chapter 28</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: uh, how long have you been watching?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: LONG 3NOUGH TO SM3LL YOU FL41L1NG 4BOUT
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L1K3 4 W1GGL3R WH1L3 T4LK1NG TO J4D3S SHO3S</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh, heh.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: awkward.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she stares at john for some
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time, a curious expression on her face. she says nothing for long
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enough that john begins to wonder if she has any use for him at
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all. will she offer one last barbed jest before vanishing from his
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life again, for good this time? he hopes he means more to her than
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that, especially after all the trying experiences they’ve
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shared.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">and he does mean more to her than that.
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her hesitation isn’t meant to make him feel unwelcome. she’s simply
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processing what she is “seeing.” something is off about him.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN DO NOT T4K3 TH1S P3RSON4LLY</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4LTHOUGH 1 DO 4BSOLUT3LY M34N 1T
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P3RSON4LLY</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT YOU SM3LL L1K3 SH1T</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">it isn’t his unseemly appearance
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she finds surprising. he is gravely wounded, but it’s not that
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either. something else is different about him. different, somehow,
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from how she thought he’d be when she imagined they’d next meet.
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under all the gore, he smells... too fresh.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">she decides to keep her observations to
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herself, lest she cause this ailing version of john more
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confusion.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah well... you smell like shit too!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 4SSUM3 TH4T YOU 4R3 CORR3CT</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: B31NG TH4T 1V3 B33N OUT H3R3 FOR 4
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C3RT41N 4MOUNT of T1M3 W1TH L1M1T3ED ACC3SS TO FOOD 4ND W4T3R</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT 1 TH1NK TH4T YOUR S1TU4T1ON 1S 4 B1T
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MOR3 S3R1OUS TH4N M1N3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4S YOU S33M TO B3 BL33D1NG TO D34TH FROM
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4 TOOTH IN YOUR CH3ST</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">john laughs, exposing his two
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rows of disarmingly dull human teeth, signature characteristics of
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his smile.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh this?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it’s only a flesh wound, haha.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y3S JOHN, G3N3R4LLY WOUNDS T3ND TO H4PP3N
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TO TH3 FL3SH</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: no, see, it’s a movie reference.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: there’s this knight and he keeps losing the
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fight that he’s in, but he refuses to give up.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: so when they cut off his arms and legs and
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stuff, he keeps acting like it’s no big deal.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: and to remain defiant, he keeps saying stuff
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like “it’s only a flesh wound”... heh.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1S TH4T TH3 T1TL3 OF TH3 MOV13?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: no the movie is called monty python.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it actually kind of sucks?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: movies from the 90s are so much better.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i don’t even know why i’m quoting this crap?
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i must really be in bad shape here...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi tips her head to one
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side, with what john personally regards as a cute expression, one
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he believes is unique to her. whether he’s correct or not, it’s his
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belief that there is no one else who emotes in this manner. it’s
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both quizzical and mocking, two descriptors that he considers to be
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an apt summation of her personality as well.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">john pauses, reflecting on the word “cute”
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as it passes through his mind. he wonders if this really is what he
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thinks of terezi, without influence, without delirium, without
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mistaking one emotion for another.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">but it is what he thinks of her, quite
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truthfully. i have no desire to interject thoughts into others’
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minds, or to sway intent. nor do i see value in masking the reality
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of the emotions that i transcribe. this is how he feels. his mind,
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however, has made a habit of being less clear about his thoughts
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than i am willing to be.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">john would be mortified with human
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embarrassment if he could understand the clarity and precision with
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which i am willing to telegraph his thoughts. but his embarrassment
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is irrelevant to me. as always, the truth is paramount. john thinks
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terezi is very cute. he always has. he thinks she’s small for how
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big she talks, and has a nose that resembles a button. these
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qualities he regards as particularly adorable, due to their sharp
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contrast with her harsh and incisive demeanor. john recalls the
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concept of “gap moe,” a term which the prince, speaking from his
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highly self-aggrandized position as a “scholar” of ancient asian
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earth lore, once explained to mean a charming, measured discrepancy
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between one’s archetypical appearance and idiosyncratic personal
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attributes. terezi is definitely cute, john decides. the conclusion
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is now at the forefront of his mind.</p>
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<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="type-bs type-hs-bottom">I don’t fucking believe
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this.</span></p>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">but he still resists, doubts
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himself. perhaps it’s even weirder to frame it this way, he
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wonders. he fears he is in danger of seeming like the type of
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creepy human male who is likely to collect large pillows bearing
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the illustrated images of japanese earth females. to me, this idea
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means nothing. but it is causing him to sweat.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">he is worried that these are the thoughts
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entertained by a man of low character. by, perhaps, a scoundrel.
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his worries are interrupted, as terezi floats over and flicks him
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on the forehead.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: DONT STR41N YOURS3LF TH1NK1NG TOO H4RD
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TH3R3 3GB3RT</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: uh, yeah, now that i think about it, that was
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a dumb metaphor.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it’s one of those earth things that’s
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probably impossible for an alien to understand.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: maybe it’s the blood loss... ugh, i’m
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probably making a fool of myself here.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN, YOUR MONK3Y PYTHON 4N3CDOT3 W4S
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V1NT4G3 3GB3RT-T13R 4DOR4STUP1D. DONT WORRY 4BOUT 1T</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: B3S1D3S, ON 4LT3RN14 1T WOULD B3
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CONS1D3R3D W31RD FOR SOM3ON3 TO STOP 4 F1GHT JUST FOR LOS1NG 4
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L1MB</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: really?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H, 1F SOM3ON3 1N TH3 M1L1T4RY R4N 4W4Y
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JUST FOR TH4T TH3YD PROB4BLY G3T CULL3D</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: wow.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: alternia sucked.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">suddenly, terezi sways, feeling
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woozy. john reaches out to catch her shoulders, steadies her. now
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closer, he examines her face in detail. her complexion is chalky.
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compared to humans, trolls have little color to lose. when they
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feel ill, there is a pallor to them, a dusty quality running deeper
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than the surface of the skin.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: woah! are you ok?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OF COURS3 NOT!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JOHN, 1 4M 1N TH3 PROC3SS OF ST4RV1NG TO
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D34TH</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: D1DNT 1 JUST S4Y 1V3 B33N OUT H3R3 FOR 4
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LONG T1M3?!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: alright! i’m just worried about you,
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dumbass!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you don’t need to jump down my throat about
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every little thing!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M SORRY</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: just... how long have you been out here,
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terezi?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1.........</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: H4V3 NO 1D34</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: T1M3 P4SS3S D1FF3R3NTLY H3R3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND NOT 4LW4YS 1N 4 STR41GHT L1N3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: SOM3T1M3S 1T F33LS L1K3 1V3 B33N H3R3 4
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HUNDR3D SW33PS</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND 1M NOT 3V3N SUR3 TH4TS NOT TRU3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: H4RD TO ST4Y 4NCHOR3D</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: whew...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: that’s... pretty heavy?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: here, look.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i found my dad’s wallet floating out here,
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like, fucking randomly? can you believe that?</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: >:?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: let’s see if there’s any food in it.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she hesitates, weighing her
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temptation to playfully antagonize john against the virtue of
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sincere expression. there are times she worries the latter may be
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more appropriate.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4NKS 3GB3RT</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: no problem. we’re friends, terezi...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it’s not like i’m going to let you die out
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here just because we bicker sometimes.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you don’t have to be so on guard! actually,
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i’m glad to see you.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.
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i...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">when john opens the wallet, the
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first thing he sees stored in the capacious modus is a spare car.
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his ever-prepared father must have captchalogued a second one as a
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backup. perhaps, as john speculates, in case his primary vehicle
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got a flat tire.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU WH4T JOHN?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: uh, hold that thought...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: check this out!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">john deploys the spare car. it
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looks brand-new, like the day his father brought the other one back
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from the dealership. it strikes john as the first bit of good luck
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he’s had all day.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">terezi is less impressed.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1S TH1S P4TH3T1C4LLY PR1M1T1V3 FOUR WH33L
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D3V1C3 3D1BL3, OR 4M 1 M1SUND3RST4ND1NG SOM3TH1NG H3R3</p>
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||
<p class="john">JOHN: no, it’s just that i...</p>
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||
</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">john’s vision is dark and blurry
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||
around the edges. he is reminded he is not in perfect physical
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condition either and could use a moment of rest. he climbs onto the
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||
trunk of the car, assuming a sitting position with his legs
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||
dangling in front of the bumper. he exhales, then turns to look at
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||
terezi.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">he pats the place beside him, inviting her
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||
to sit. she looks skeptical but relents, shimmying up next to him
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||
on the chrome. she shrugs out of the straps of her rocket pack.
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||
they sit silently for several minutes, shoulders two inches apart.
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||
the atmosphere is thin and chilly. below their dangling feet, the
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||
black hole looms, watching them. above, the sky seems to stretch on
|
||
more infinitely than a typical infinite expanse, without being
|
||
boxed in by the properties of space or time. john observes terezi
|
||
watching the sky. the light flickers, meteoric, over her sharp
|
||
features. it casts pools of shadow beneath her eyes and in the dip
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||
of her neck.</p>
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||
<p class="calliope-dead">his innocent thoughts continue, with the
|
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cautious yet growing confidence of a skittish animal creeping out
|
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of the woods. it is confident only in its surety of being
|
||
unobserved. like this, he does not think she is cute at all. no,
|
||
she is beautiful. this vision of her is haunting to him.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS R34LLY 4 M3SS OUT H3R3 1SNT 1T</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah...</p>
|
||
</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he opens the wallet again, both
|
||
to search for something edible and to take his eyes away from her.
|
||
objects begin appearing around him as he leafs through the cards. a
|
||
crumpled fedora. a silk tie. his father’s backup cufflinks.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what are you doing out here anyway?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU TH1NK 1M DO1NG OUT H3R3?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: LOOK1NG FOR VR1SK4 OF COURS3</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: still?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU M34N ST1LL</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: well... it’s been years.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: at least from my perspective it has.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what have you seen since you started
|
||
looking?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: there’s just... nothing out here.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: not anymore.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: if you haven’t found her yet, i hate to say
|
||
it, but...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: she’s probably not here.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i mean, she went to fight lord english,
|
||
right?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i was just there, and i didn’t see her.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: and i’m pretty sure everyone who WAS there is
|
||
dead now.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i wouldn’t be surprised if we’re the only two
|
||
people left alive out here.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi stares at him with her
|
||
wide, red eyes.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34RS...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: yes.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh. a year is about half a sw—</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 KNOW TH4T, FOOL</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS JUST S1NK1NG 1N</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HOW T1M3 H4S P4SS3D D1FF3R3NTLY FOR
|
||
US</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: right.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: T1M3 NOT 1N TH3 L1T3R4L S3NS3 OF S3CONDS
|
||
P4SS1NG BY</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT...</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: PROGR3SS</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUV3 CH4NG3D SO MUCH</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND 4LL 1V3 DON3 1S W4ST3 MY 3NT1RE
|
||
L1F3SP4N W4LK1NG 1N C1RCL3S</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: hey, let’s not throw in the towel just
|
||
yet!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: so, do you think...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: do i actually LOOK that much different to
|
||
you?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she leans in close to sniff him
|
||
carefully.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HMMM</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU SM3LL OLD3R</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT NOT 4S OLD 4S 1 THOUGHT YOUD B3</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what does that mean?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: DONT WORRY 4BOUT 1T</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH! WH4T 1S TH4T?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi appears delighted. she
|
||
quickly snatches something out of the open wallet. it is a can of
|
||
human shaving cream. she clutches it with covetous desperation, her
|
||
mouth watering.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: terezi, no!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: that’s not food!!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">john is too late. she sprays the
|
||
airy white foam directly into her mouth. she is slurping the earth
|
||
product known as barbasol greedily, groaning in pleasure as it runs
|
||
down her chin in viscid, frothy rivers. john’s eyes bulge at the
|
||
unappetizing spectacle.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">he watches with a strange mixture of
|
||
disgust and fondness. he briefly wonders about the caloric value of
|
||
the foam. however, regardless of its nutritional merit, it does
|
||
appear to have restored some of her vigor, so he decides not to
|
||
interfere. he feels a twinge of pain in his chest, and considers it
|
||
may be on account of missing her so greatly.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">but no. it’s just my brother’s tooth,
|
||
lodged deep in his chest, spreading its poison. it really should be
|
||
extracted before it’s too late.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um... you feel better?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y3S</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: that’s good.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: but personally speaking, i feel like total
|
||
shit.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i think we should go back.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: home, i mean.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: N... NO</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she grabs him by the shirt. her
|
||
voice begins to waver. he notices desperation in the dark circles
|
||
under her eyes.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: PL34S3 JOHN</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: C4N W3 JUST</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ST4Y 4 L1TTL3 LONG3R?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">his mind knows he must say no.
|
||
his sense of self-preservation insists on it. but he simply can’t.
|
||
he redoubles his effort to ignore the pain. he fights back tears.
|
||
she can sense his great struggle but says nothing. with a tilt of
|
||
his head, he gestures toward the car.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um. ok.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: we can stay a little longer.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: why don’t you rest in the back seat, so you
|
||
can save your energy.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i’ll drive.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: not literally drive, but... you know.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi crawls in back, while
|
||
john floats into the driver’s seat. he summons a gust of wind to
|
||
propel the car through the decaying medium, as he once did on the
|
||
battlefield so long ago. terezi closes her eyes the moment her head
|
||
hits the seat. she snores heavily. john makes a concerted effort
|
||
not to be creepy about it, by his own estimation of the word’s
|
||
meaning, yet cannot stop looking at her in the rearview mirror. he
|
||
tells himself it’s just to make sure she’s still breathing.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">that it’s just to make sure she’s actually
|
||
<em>there</em>.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</body>
|
||
</html> |