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598 lines
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat - Chapter 31</title>
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<h1>Chapter 31</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">T</span>erezi is
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munching her way through another tin of human fatherly tobacco as
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john crawls into the back seat. this has been their ritual for
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several days. precisely how many, they couldn’t say. between her
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frequent naps and his diligence in keeping a lookout for any
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additional survivors, they have been losing track of time. john,
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eyes unfocused, stares at the expanse of nothingness. perhaps he
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imagines it, but it seems as if the emptiness itself is curving
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against the staggering weight of the black hole they orbit.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">he hasn’t seen any sign of vriska. he’s
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seen no one at all. it’s just him, terezi, and the sky on all
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sides. he scoots back to lean against the car door, drawing his
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knees up to his chest, unsure how to act around terezi or how much
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room to give her.</p>
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<p class="calliope-dead">she holds out a handful of tobacco.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: W4NT SOM3 D3L1C1OUS DRY C4NDY
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SH4V1NGS?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: ew, no.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: do you have any idea what you’re eating right
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now?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she shrugs and licks the crumbs
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off her hand. his eyes can’t help but follow the motion of her
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tongue. it leaves a trail of faintly teal saliva behind that
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glistens in the strange light coming through the windows.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: it’s like... a poison plant. you’re not
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supposed to eat it, you’re supposed to put it in a pipe and smoke
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it.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think that if i ate it i’d probably get
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mouth cancer or something.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: W3LL</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1F YOU W3R3 BL1ND 4ND S4W W1TH YOUR NOS3
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4ND TONGU3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1T WOULD T4ST3 L1K3 CHOCOL4T3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: seriously?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: so, is that kinda like synesthesia?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: are all trolls like that, or just you? i’ve
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always wondered.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she gives him a narrow-eyed
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look. her thick eyelashes shadow her gaze. he feels anxious without
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knowing why. it’s as if he’s waiting for something to happen. for
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something to change.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WHY JOHN</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4R3 YOU CUR1OUS 4BOUT M3? H3H3H3H3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: no!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: um.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i mean... yes?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: your whole licking thing has always been kind
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of weird.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: a lot of things about you are weird.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i feel like we talked a lot, but i still know
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almost nothing about you, since so many of our conversations were
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just...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BULLSH1T?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, i guess.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i always felt like you were trying to fight
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me for some reason.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: like i can’t just talk to you normally.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: it always has to be like... a jokey
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argument!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: or a snark-off. or something.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: FOR 1T TO B3 4 SN4RK OFF YOUD H4V3 TO
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PROV3 4 WORTHY OPPON3NT 3GB3RT H4H4H4</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: see, like that!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you just...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: always do THAT!</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi’s expression changes in a
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subtle way, slowly, like the tide pulling out. she snaps the
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tobacco tin shut and sets it down on the floor of the car.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: SUPPOS3 1 C4N B3 PR3TTY D1FF1CULT TO B3
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4ROUND</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh, no...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i didn’t mean...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’m sorry, terezi.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he unfolds his legs, so he can
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set a comforting hand on her shoulder. he wonders if he’s allowing
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it to linger there longer than it should.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: look.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i’ve been really depressed and antisocial for
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the last few years.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: so i guess going on this insane suicide
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mission out of nowhere has been making me get all, um...</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: philosophical about my relationships and
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shit?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think i’ve been out here long enough that
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i’m starting to forget what certain basic things... feel like? if
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that makes sense.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i feel like i’m all numb inside. and this
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fucking tooth in my chest isn’t helping either.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think i just want to have a REAL
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conversation with someone?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he pushes her shoulder, lightly,
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so that they’re looking at each other.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: terezi.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i want to have a real conversation with
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you.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi makes very close eye and
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nose contact with john, in a way that comes across as intently
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sincere. this arrangement lasts for about ten seconds before her
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mouth cracks in a grin, and she doubles over laughing.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4H4H4H4H4H4H4!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH MY GOD TH4TS TH3 L4M3ST TH1NG 1V3
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H34RD 1N MY 3NT1R3 L1F3</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh come on!</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 3GB3RT, NO M4TT3R HOW OLD OR YOUNG YOU
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4R3, YOU N3V3R CH4NG3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU 4R3 POS1T1V3LY, TRULY 4ND
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UND3N14BLY</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3 B1GG3ST FUCK1NG DORK 1 H4V3 3V3R
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KNOWN >:]</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: haha, ok, i get it!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: sorry i said anything, geez.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH DONT LOOK L1K3 TH4T</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 D1DNT S4Y 1T W4S 4 B4D TH1NG</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 4CTU4LLY F1ND 1T</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: R3FR3SH1NG??</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she pulls her legs up under her.
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her shoes catch the light and reflect it all over the ceiling in
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little red dots. john’s heart skips a beat.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="john">JOHN: you’re wearing jade’s shoes.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi frowns, and then her eyes
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widen as if she’s been caught. her reply is defensive.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH3Y W3R3 1N TH3 W4LL3T</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: oh yeah. i guess i put them in there.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 L1K3 TH3M</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 C4N T4K3 TH3M OFF 1F 1TS CR33P1NG YOU
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OUT THOUGH</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: no, it’s fine. it just made me think
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about...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">the doomed timeline, he means.
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the state of the session he entered, where he was confronted with
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billions of pieces of debris from several shattered planets. he
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pictures terezi’s lifeless body as it collapses onto a
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corpse-shaped chalk outline she drew for herself.</p>
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||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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||
<p class="john">JOHN: you know what happened, right? the first time
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we all met up and tried to fight the condesce?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: we were completely unprepared and basically
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got our asses handed to us.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: by which i mean, everybody died.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think about it a lot.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i guess it’s kind of hard NOT to think a lot
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about seeing all your friends die horrible deaths.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: but i also think about you from that timeline
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a lot too.</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: M3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WHY 1S TH4T?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: because you were amazing!</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i couldn’t believe how you could hold it all
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together while you were literally bleeding to death.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: almost like it wasn’t even bothering you.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: like, you were actually in the process of
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dying horribly, and you STILL went to the bother of dunking on me
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with your scarf instructions.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you were so brave. it was like you were
|
||
undefeatable that day. like you were refusing to let us lose.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think i carry around that memory whenever i
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think about you.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: and maybe why i always feel like you’re
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sorta, steamrolling over me when we talk.</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i think i’m still a little... intimidated by
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you?</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: i guess that sounds kinda stupid though.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">suddenly, terezi’s voice is very
|
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small.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 R3M3MB3R 4LL TH4T</p>
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<p class="john">JOHN: you do?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she nods, smiling grimly.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4TS WHY 1M OUT H3R3</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU S33...</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4T DOOM3D T3R3Z1 M1SS3D VR1SK4 *SO*
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||
MUCH, 1T W4S L1K3 4 HOL3 1N H3R H34RT</p>
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 R3M3MB3R TH3 W4Y SH3 F3LT, B3C4US3 ON3
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||
T1M3, 4LL H3R M3MOR13S C4M3 FLOOD1NG B4CK</p>
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 3V3N GOT TO S33 WH4T H4PP3N3D WH3N SH3
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||
D13D</p>
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<p class="terezi">TEREZI: SH3 4ND 4NOTH3R VR1SK4 GHOST F1N4LLY
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||
FOUND 34CH OTH3R</p>
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1T M4D3 M3 SO H4PPY G3TT1NG TO F33L TH4T,
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||
4S 1F 1T W4S ON3 OF MY OWN M3MOR13S</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1T JUST R31NFORC3D TH3 F33L1NG TH4T TH3R3
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||
W4S SOM3TH1NG SP3C14L B3TW33N US</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND 1 JUST K3PT H4NG1NG ON TO TH4T
|
||
B3L13F, R1GHT UP UNT1L...</p>
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH, 1 DONT KNOW</p>
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NOW???</p>
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||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1V3 PR4CT1C4LLY D3VOT3D MY L1F3 TO
|
||
C3RT41N M3MOR13S, TO TH3 1D34 TH4T TWO P3OPL3 C4N B3 M34NT TO B3
|
||
W1TH 34CH OTH3R ON SOM3 COSM1C L3V3L, 3V3N 1F TH3Y 4LW4YS S33M TO
|
||
G3T 34CH OTH3R 1NTO TROUBL3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4LL TH4T 1NV3STM3NT, 4LL TH4T
|
||
S34RCH1NG...</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND FOR *WH4T*?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OV3R 4 SW33P TOG3TH3R, 4ND SH3 JUST
|
||
D1S4PP34RS 1NTO THE VO1D 4G41N?!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4T 4 HUG3 B1TCH</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: terezi...</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">his hand is on her shoulder
|
||
again. and his other hand has found the other shoulder. john
|
||
notices his own palm grazing up the side of her neck to cup her
|
||
face. the act was made with barely a thought, and his own boldness
|
||
surprises himself.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you SAVED everyone!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you’re the only reason we were able to defeat
|
||
lord english and win the game at all!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: if it weren’t for you, me and roxy would have
|
||
just floated around in paradox space like a couple of losers with
|
||
no idea what to do!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things
|
||
MYSELF!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH D34R GOD</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah!!!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi shrugs out from under his
|
||
grasp but doesn’t move away.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: S1GH</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: DONT G3T M3 WRONG</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M NOT D1SCOUNT1NG TH3 OBJ3CT1V3 V4LU3 OF
|
||
MY OTH3R S3LFS ACT1ONS</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M GL4D TH4T W3 D1DNT 4LL D13 1N 4 DOOM3D
|
||
T1M3L1N3 4ND L3T LORD 3NGL1SH F1N1SH 34T1NG 4LL OF SP4C3T1M3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT 1 DONT...</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 DONT *F33L* 1T</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS NOT 4 R4T1ON4L 3MOT1ON JOHN</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS L1K3 YOU!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: me?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: Y34H YOU</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WHY 4R3 YOU ST1LL OUT H3R3 W1TH M3?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um... because i’m not just going to leave you
|
||
here to die?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUV3 M4D3 V3RY F3W OV3RTUR3S R3G4RD1NG
|
||
TH3 SUBJ3CT OF GO1NG HOM3</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOUR3 JUST *L3TT1NG* M3 CONT1NU3 TO
|
||
PO1NTL3SSLY C1RCL3 TH1S FUCK1NG BL4CK HOL3 3V3N THOUGH 1TS OBV1OUS
|
||
TH4T VR1SK4 1S D34D!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4ND YOUR3 JUST L3TT1NG *YOURS3LF* B3 OUT
|
||
H3R3 TOO, 4S W3 SP1R4L DOWN TH3 LO4D G4P3R TOG3TH3R!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i... don’t know?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i hadn’t thought about it, to be honest.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 3X4CTLY</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S P3RF3CT 1SNT 1T?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT NOT FOR YOU</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU DONT *F33L* 1T</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">john swallows a thick breath. he
|
||
reminds himself that he never wanted perfection, never asked for
|
||
it. and yet he feels guilty every day for failing to enjoy it as
|
||
much as he believes he was supposed to.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you’re right. i don’t.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1F YOUV3 B33N D3PR3SS3D 4ND 4NT1SOC14L
|
||
TH3S3 L4ST F3W Y34RS, 1 B3T TH4T YOUR FR13NDS M1SS YOU</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: probably.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: but for some reason, i don’t feel like i have
|
||
anything to go home to.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: heh... you’re right. it’s not a rational
|
||
feeling.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: but it’s there anyway.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">a tear hits his knee, staining
|
||
his pants dark. he rubs his eyes furiously. he’s afraid terezi will
|
||
mock him for his childish display of emotion. but she just watches
|
||
him, patient and sympathetic.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">she tips her head to one side, and
|
||
asks,</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4T 3ND3D UP H4PP3N1NG W1TH ROXY?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: dunno.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: we just sorta stopped hanging out
|
||
regularly.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: then she got close with callie and i felt too
|
||
awkward to try to figure out where our relationship stood.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: R34LLY?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HMM</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 JUST 4SSUM3D TH4T BY NOW YOU TWO M1GHT
|
||
H4V3 GOTT3N TOG3TH3R</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: really?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: why?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: NO R34SON. JUST 4 HUNCH</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1T WOULD H4V3 WORK3D OUT
|
||
THOUGH</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: what makes you say that?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she taps her nose and winks.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 DUNNO</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TH4TS WH4T H4V1NG 4 HUNCH FUCK1NG M34NS,
|
||
N3RD!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ugh!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: you’re impossible.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: TRU3!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BUT YOU L1K3 M3 4NYW4Y</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: y... yeah.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i actually missed you, you know.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: more than i thought i did.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">john wonders, after he makes the
|
||
statement: what if she just needed someone to tell her that she was
|
||
missed? a bit late to consider the question, but he considers it
|
||
anyway. perhaps this will make her want to end this search and come
|
||
home with him.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">he wonders if the time is right. the time
|
||
to ask.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: terezi... come home with me.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she shakes her head. her face is
|
||
turned against the light so he can’t read her expression.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1M NOT R34DY Y3T</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: when WILL you be ready?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: M4YB3 N3V3R</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1F YOU H4DNT FOUND M3, 1 PROB4BLY WOULD
|
||
H4V3 D13D R1GHT?</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1S TH4T WH4T 1 W4NT?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um, obviously not, dummy!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: if you wanted to die so bad you wouldn’t
|
||
have...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ...eaten all that disgusting shaving cream
|
||
and tobacco!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he gestures to where she still
|
||
has a smear of shaving cream on the hem of her shirt, crusted over
|
||
from sitting there for hours. she sniffs at the residue, then lifts
|
||
her shirt to lick it off, crinkling her nose.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HMM</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU COULD B3 ON TO SOM3TH1NG</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: at least let me make a supply run.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: maybe i can get you some REAL food?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">it seems to him like an
|
||
uncontroversial compromise to offer, so he pulls back, preparing to
|
||
travel back to earth c via his retcon capability. but terezi grabs
|
||
him by the wrist.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: W41T</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">her eyes are wide, her voice
|
||
cracked and desperate.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: DONT GO</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: PL34S3 JOHN</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ST4Y W1TH M3 JUST 4 L1TTL3 LONG3R</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1F YOU L34V3 M3 NOW...</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4T 1F YOU C4N N3V3R F1ND M3 4G41N 1N
|
||
TH1S MOM3NT?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: well, we can’t stay here forever!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 KNOW</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he has no idea how to react to
|
||
her behavior. he’s never seen her this vulnerable. she’s shaking
|
||
where she is touching him, and her lower lip is visibly trembling.
|
||
he nods, and she slowly lets go of his arm.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">they are silent for a minute. they both
|
||
stare ahead at the car seats in front of them, sitting close enough
|
||
to hear the beat of each other’s hearts.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: ...DO YOU</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: W4NT M3 TO T4K3 4 LOOK 4T YOUR WOUND?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">john had gotten so used to the
|
||
pain, he’d almost forgotten about it. he looks down at the place
|
||
where his shirt has grown stiff from the congealed blood. now that
|
||
he dwells on it, he can feel the ache again, both from the tooth
|
||
piercing his flesh and, more insidiously, from the poison it has
|
||
been delivering into his bloodstream.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh, um.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: yeah, we should probably do something about
|
||
that.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i feel like if i was gonna die from it, i
|
||
would have done that already. but it’s really lodged in there,
|
||
huh?</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i thought maybe it’d just come out on its
|
||
own, like when you get a splinter in your foot.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: YOU R34LLY 4R3 DUMB 4R3NT YOU?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he rolls his eyes. terezi
|
||
produces her cane and unsheathes the blade in one fluid motion. the
|
||
metal rasps against the grain of its sheath, rather loudly.
|
||
<span class="dirk type-bs type-hs-bottom">I’m sorry, what? No
|
||
it doesn’t.</span> the noise resounds throughout the sealed
|
||
interior of the car <span class="dirk type-bs type-hs-bottom">Actually, drawing a sword is pretty quiet. It only makes that sound in the movies.</span>and rings through john’s skull like a gunshot.</p>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead"><span class="dirk type-bs type-hs-bottom">Are you seriously manifesting inaccurate physical properties of
|
||
swords for the sole purpose of antago</span>john reflexively backs up against the door at <span class="dirk type-bs type-hs-bottom">Oh, fuck this.</span> the sight of the blade.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: woah!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HOLD ST1LL 1F YOU DONT W4NT TO D13 FOR
|
||
R34L</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he holds still. her eyebrows are
|
||
knitted with fierce determination. she sets a hand on his thigh and
|
||
draws the blade up under his shirt. he shivers, letting out a
|
||
breathy laugh at the coolness of the metal against his bare chest.
|
||
there is a pinch when the congealed, bloody fabric rips from his
|
||
skin.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">he glances down. the wound looks worse
|
||
than he was imagining, is far more than just a puncture. an uncanny
|
||
darkness spreads across his chest. the gash is scabbing at the
|
||
edges, bruised all around. his entire torso appears to be a mottled
|
||
mess of purple and yellow, like a sort of fancy earth cheese.
|
||
terezi’s blade cuts into it as easily as if it were.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: oh FUCK!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ow!!!!!</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: could have used some warning there,
|
||
terezi!</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: WH4T TH3 H3LL D1D YOU TH1NK 1 W4S *GO1NG*
|
||
TO DO W1TH TH1S SWORD, 1D1OT!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she’s close enough that her
|
||
breath washes over his face. it smells like shaving cream and
|
||
tobacco, which is jarring to him, if not surprising. she is without
|
||
her glasses, and so close that john notices things he hasn’t had
|
||
occasion to before. like how lovely her eyes are. the length of her
|
||
eyelashes, now that he’s really seeing them just inches from his
|
||
face, is astounding to him. he has never thought of terezi as
|
||
particularly feminine, at least in the way humans understand this
|
||
idea. but he has never been forced to reckon with her features so
|
||
unavoidably.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">the dark borders around the perimeter of
|
||
her eyes are thicker and darker than what most trolls have. the
|
||
tired bags under them are ditches in the shadows cast by her
|
||
angular features, made more gaunt from hunger. when she blinks, her
|
||
lashes brush the ridges of her cheekbones.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">her nostrils are flared, assessing the
|
||
scent of his blood.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 4R3 W3 DO1NG TH1S OR WH4T?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he presses his eyes shut, and
|
||
nods. he feels numb, clammy, jittering down to his bones from a
|
||
particular sensation. a feeling he still seems to be denying to
|
||
himself. as his own thoughts struggle to be honest with him, he
|
||
cannot disguise the truth from me. what he is fighting is an
|
||
intense desire to kiss her.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: g... go for it.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she grinds the sword between two
|
||
of his ribs. the pain returns instantly, his acclimation erased
|
||
nearly as quickly. he clenches his jaw hard, and his head spins.
|
||
terezi’s blade catches against something.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: HMMM</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1TS LODG3D 1N TH3R3 PR3TTY GOOD</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: BR4C3 YOURS3LF 3GB3RT, TH1S 1S GO1NG TO
|
||
ST1NG</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he can feel the tooth moving
|
||
around against his flesh, the fibrous, spasmodic contractions of
|
||
his muscles around it. when she wrenches the blade and pops the
|
||
tooth out, he isn’t proud of the sound he makes.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">he finally opens his eyes. terezi’s arms
|
||
are covered in his blood. she tosses the sword down to the floor of
|
||
the car, in what suddenly strikes john as a fairly unhygienic
|
||
surgical situation, and grabs his shirt with two clenched, red
|
||
fists.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: 1 N33D TO STOP TH3 BL33D1NG</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: JUST FOLLOW MY L34D</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">she peels him out of his hoodie
|
||
and then his shredded t-shirt. he’s dizzy. his vision wavers,
|
||
fades. it takes terezi’s sudden grip on his shoulder to bring him
|
||
back from the brink. the brink of what, he doesn’t know.
|
||
unconsciousness. canonic dissolution. he has no cognizance of what
|
||
the poison in his veins does to someone, or that it’s even in his
|
||
system. all he knows is that terezi is the only thing keeping him
|
||
moored. she holds him firm, her thumb in the dip of his clavicle,
|
||
her sharp nails etching scores in his back.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">he watches her tear his t-shirt into a
|
||
long strip. he lifts his arms obediently as she wraps it around his
|
||
chest and ties it off. her hands slide over the bandage and linger
|
||
there. her fingers splay on his collarbones, her right hand resting
|
||
above his heart. she slides her palms down his stomach, then around
|
||
to his hips, leaving long bloody streaks along his torso. his
|
||
blood, ten uneven tracks of it, one for each of her fingers.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">when his arms come down, they wrap around
|
||
her shoulders. pulling her into his lap feels natural to him. a
|
||
simple redirection of her momentum, to guide her closer. what comes
|
||
less naturally is the first kiss. her lips are there, hovering just
|
||
over his. yet he hesitates. his mind is still lying to itself,
|
||
casting doubt on what it really wants. i don’t see a purpose in
|
||
allowing his self-deceit to continue for much longer. it’s wrong to
|
||
contradict one’s true thoughts and feelings. irrational. unbecoming
|
||
of an existence governed by free will.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">what are you waiting for, john?</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um.</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: FOR FUCKS S4K3 JOHN, DONT S4Y 4NYTH1NG
|
||
STUP1D R1GHT NOW</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">he nods stupidly, and leans
|
||
forward to kiss her. terezi attacks, closing the gap between them
|
||
swiftly. she bites into his mouth, drawing blood when she sucks his
|
||
lower lip. he twists his hands in the fabric of her shirt so hard
|
||
it rides up her back.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">john can’t tell if it’s the pain or the
|
||
arousal that’s emboldening him. it is neither. he is simply being
|
||
barred from ignoring his true thoughts. even without the aid of a
|
||
juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form
|
||
of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical
|
||
inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more
|
||
primitive forms of life. in his newfound clarity he discovers
|
||
bravery, pulls terezi’s shirt off all the way, and does what he
|
||
really wants to do, which is ghost his hands all the way up the
|
||
curve of her spine.</p>
|
||
<p class="calliope-dead">she sighs into his mouth.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: OH MY GOD YOUR BLOOD SM3LLS D3L1C1OUS</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: woah.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: um, wow.</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: ok...</p>
|
||
<p class="john">JOHN: i think you’re really pretty, in... the light
|
||
of the dead universe?</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">terezi rears back with a faint
|
||
snarl and wraps both her hands around his neck. she doesn’t press
|
||
down, but the weight of her thumbs above his throat makes his heart
|
||
race.</p>
|
||
<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: D1DNT 1 T3LL YOU</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: DONT</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: S4Y</p>
|
||
<p class="terezi">TEREZI: <em>*4NYTH1NG*</em> STUP1D</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<p class="no-indent calliope-dead">careful of her grip around his
|
||
neck, john locks his arms around her waist and pulls her flush
|
||
against him. she’s ravenous when their mouths collide, her desire
|
||
intensified by the taste and scent of his blood. she doesn’t give
|
||
him a chance to say anything else for a while, stupid or
|
||
otherwise.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</body>
|
||
</html> |