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299 lines
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<title>The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat - Chapter 37</title>
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<div id='s37'></div>
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<div>
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<h1>Chapter 37</h1>
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<div class="o-story_text o_epilogue type-rg type-sm line-caption line-copy pad-x-0 pad-x-lg pad-b-lg">
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<p class="no-indent dirk"><span class="opener type-hs-opener-rg type-hs-opener-sm">W</span>e make a
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quick stop back at Rose’s apartment. She understandably wants to
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pack a few things before we leave this planet forever. Not a whole
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lot, mind you. It’s not like she’ll be needing many clothes from
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now on.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Oh, come on. Can we keep our minds out of the
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gutter for more than two fucking seconds? That’s not what I meant.
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She’ll have to leave her current body soon if she’s going to
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survive the absolute realization of her Ultimate Self. The new body
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I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles.
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That’s all I was saying.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Do you really need all of this crap?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Rose is sprawled out on her bed, resting.
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It’s pretty much all she can bring herself to do these days. But in
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spite of her physically incapacitated state, her stare tracks me
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intently as I root through her belongings at her behest.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: No, I don’t... I don’t need it.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: But I’d...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I’d like to have it. Some of it.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Just the important things...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: The memories that matter most.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: We’re going to make new memories.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: We have countless millennia ahead of us. The
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entire breadth of infinity.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: The past seven years on this planet are
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cosmically irrelevant. When we get where we’re going, you won’t
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even want to remember this benighted rock anymore.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Rose opens her mouth to launch into what
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would surely lead to a belabored and cyclical argument, but she
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doesn’t have the strength. She groans instead. I know it frustrates
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her. It frustrates me too. That’s why I want to get out of here as
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soon as possible.</p>
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<p class="dirk">I let my voice soften.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Rose.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Everything is going to be fine.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: But, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">She pleads, affecting an exaggerated
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whine that sounds unintentionally authentic with how weak she
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is.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Rose has really leaned into this particular line of
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“irony.” Hamming it up with the dad jokes, as if she derives some
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bizarre gratification from the fact of our relation. It’s an
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apparently endless source of amusement to her.</p>
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<p class="dirk">I don’t get it and I don’t really care to
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speculate. I sigh, and return to picking through her jewelry. The
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tactic fucking works on me, I guess.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Is this the thing you were talking about?
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This...this rock rope?</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: <em>Rock rope?</em></p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Rose lifts herself up barely enough to
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see. The effort to do just that seems to take everything out of
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her. She collapses heavily after she gets a look at what I’m
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holding up, huffing in annoyance.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: F-first of all.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: That... the word for that object is... a
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“necklace.”</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Second of all,</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Does that... look purple to you?</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Don’t... don’t...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Patronize me... while I’m dying.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I can’t make heads or tails of any of this
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shit. It’s a big pile of shiny garbage.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: If you’re so concerned about it, why don’t
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you come over here and pick out what you want to pack yourself?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I expect at least an aggravated retort,
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but nothing comes.</p>
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<p class="dirk">I glance back and see that her eyes have grown
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glassy and distant, like two round-cut amethysts. Her smile seems
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due less to fondness than stupefaction. The circles under her eyes
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are dark, and her head is cushioned on an arm bent beneath it.
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Keeping her eyes trained on me seems to be the only energy she’s
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able to expend anymore. The omniscience sickness is wreaking havoc
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on her. I should hurry up.</p>
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<p class="dirk">I’m glad I never had to feel whatever she’s going
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through. Not everyone can be built like me. It just means I carry a
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greater responsibility to take care of those more fragile.
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Especially the ones most important to me.</p>
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<p class="dirk">I go through the motions of picking things out of
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her drawers. Just grabbing stuff at random, because like I said, it
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doesn’t matter.</p>
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<p class="dirk">When she next speaks, it seems her mind has
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wandered. Her voice is as distant as her expression.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Are you sure Kanaya is going to be ok with
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this?</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I slide a drawer shut, and shove whatever
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it is I’m holding into the bag without looking.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: There’s no need to worry about that.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: How...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: How will we break it to her?</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: You’re not well enough to stress over
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this.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: You should just let me handle it. I can make
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her understand.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for
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everybody.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: She’ll come to see that someday.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Rose breathes in deeply, and exhales. She
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allows herself to close her eyes, and tries to forget these
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troubling thoughts of the wife she’s about to leave.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Speaking of which, Kanaya is on her way back to the
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apartment. She’s blocks away, frantically running in the direction
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of this building. She’s a pretty fast runner, but she’ll have to
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run faster than that if she wants to bust in here and cause a scene
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before we go. She senses she isn’t going to make it up here in
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time, and slows to a stop. She takes a moment to consider how she’s
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gonna play this.</p>
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<p class="dirk">She’s beside herself with rage. Her phone is out,
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poised to call someone. Probably me. But she needs to gather her
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thoughts and figure out what to say. She knows she’s been played by
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now. She’s sure of it, and so has to think of exactly what she can
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say to me to stop this from happening, or if nothing else, delay it
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long enough to force a confrontation. At least, these are all
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things she’s telling herself right now.</p>
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<p class="dirk">They’re only thoughts, after all. Things she’s
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decided she believes, after neurotically parsing certain patterns
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of behavior from me and her wife. I guess from her ignorant alien
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position it’s reasonable to be suspicious that something shady is
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going on. But is it really? Is she sure she’s not misunderstanding
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something? Could she have misread the signals, or falsely assigned
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nefarious intent to a perfectly innocent series of events? As her
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breathing slows, and her calm is gradually restored, suddenly she
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isn’t so sure. Maybe she’s gotten this wrong all along.</p>
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<p class="dirk">If you want my take, I think she has gotten this
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wrong all along. That’s right, Kanaya. YOU have been getting this
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all wrong since the very beginning.</p>
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<p class="dirk">Your head is spinning with doubt now. Why were you
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running so fast? Why is your heart beating like this? You find a
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nearby bench on the sidewalk, and sit down to really reflect on
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this. To question everything you’ve been getting so worked up over.
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The thing is, what you’re suddenly questioning isn’t so much about
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whether your suspicions that Rose and I have been sneaking around
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behind your back are wrong, per se. It’s that you’re starting to
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wonder if they’re right, but you’ve been the one who was wrong to
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object.</p>
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<p class="dirk">This revelation hits you like a kick in the chest.
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It’s heavy, it hurts, but only for a moment. Then you find it’s
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like a weight is lifting off your shoulders. To finally face the
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truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if
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she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural
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similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then
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what does that say about YOU, Kanaya? Doesn’t it confirm what
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you’ve always suspected deep down? That as flattering as it was
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that someone like Rose would give you the time of day, and as nice
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as that made you feel for as long as she was willing to put up with
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you, the truth is, on some level, you always understood you were
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never good enough for her?</p>
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<p class="dirk">Pale green tears are flowing down your face. You
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have no idea how long you’ve been crying. You just noticed only
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now, because you’ve finally decided to confront the harsh reality
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of your marriage. It was always an illusion. You put your face in
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your hands and sob. The catharsis is relieving, bittersweet. Years
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of suppressed insecurities melt away. You’re finally free of this.
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Alone, yes, but free. And so is she. You love her with all your
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heart, and because of that, you genuinely want what’s best for her.
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Whatever will make her happy. And knowing this—that truly all you
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ever hoped for was to help her be happy, to be the best person she
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could be—it brings you comfort. It quells the grief into a dull
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ache. One that you’ll be grateful to keep for the rest of your
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life, because it will always remind you of what you had with
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her.</p>
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<p class="dirk">The tears have stopped flowing. You feel them
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drying on your face in the cool breeze. Your eyes are clear and
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focused. You know what you must do now. There is no crisis. There
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is nothing in which to intervene. Nothing to stop. You tap your
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phone, and hold it up to your ear.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Rose?</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Ka...</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Rose</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Sweet Heart</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Kanaya, I’m,</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I’m so...</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Rose Its Okay</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Know Everything</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: You... you do?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Understand Whats Going On Now</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Just Want You To Know</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: How Happy You Made Me</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Oh, Kanaya...</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Wont Be Long</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Just Need To Say A Couple Things</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: While I Can</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Before I Get Too Emotional About This</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Finally Get It</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Know You And He Belong Together</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Really Hope You Will Both Be Happy</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Wherever Youre Going And Whatever You
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Decide To Do</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Will Always Be Thinking Of You</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: And Be Grateful For The Life We Had
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Together</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I’ll always remember you, Kanaya.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: Thank you so much for understanding.</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I didn’t know how to...</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I thought surely you would be...</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Rose’s turns her face into the bed, to
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muffle her sobs. I’m holding the phone up to her ear. I move the
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phone quickly to follow the movement of her head.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Its Fine Really Sweet Heart</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I Love You</p>
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<p class="rose">ROSE: I love you too.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Goodbye Rose</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">Before Kanaya hangs up, I quickly bring
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the phone up to my ear to say a few words.</p>
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<div class="chat type-rg type-hs-small">
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Hey Kanaya. Thanks for getting in touch
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before we take off.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: We both really appreciate that.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Oh</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: S... Sure</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I’ll take very good care of her.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I promise.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Thank You Dirk</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Hey one last thing.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Before you head back to the brooding caverns
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or wherever, think you can do me a favor?</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Of Course</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: You’ve probably heard by now that Jade is
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sick.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: In a coma or something? She’s in the
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hospital.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I’ve got an antidote for that. Medicine of
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sorts.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: If you give it to her, it should wake her up
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almost immediately.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: I left it here on the counter in your
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apartment.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: You can come pick it up and bring it to her
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at your leisure.</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: I See</p>
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<p class="kanaya">KANAYA: Yes I Can Do That</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Awesome.</p>
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<p class="dirk">DIRK: Well, later.</p>
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</div>
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<p class="no-indent dirk">I hang up and toss the phone on the
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floor. She’ll be here soon, so it’s time to wrap this up. Rose is
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exhausted. Emotionally, physically, the works. She’s nodding off
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but struggling to stay awake. She doesn’t want to miss anything
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important, but there’s nothing left to do here. There’s no reason
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to put any more strain on her than necessary.</p>
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<p class="dirk">I pull out a syringe full of the same stuff as
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usual. Worked wonders on Jake, then Jade. Should knock Rose out
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well enough for the long ride ahead. I inject it in her arm, and
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her head drops down almost instantly. I pick her up and carry her
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like a sleeping princess. It slips my mind to bring along her bag
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of stuff. I walk to the sliding glass door, open it, and we fly
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away.</p>
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</div>
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</div>
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</body>
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</html> |